Zayn’s POV:
We were in CA, finally. Where (Y/N) lives. She still never texted me back or called. Once we got here though, they boys immediately left saying they were gonna go eat pizza. Not inviting me. Fine whatever. I figured I’d text her one more time. Of course she didn’t reply. I finally gave up and just got in my car and drove around. This is where we grew up together as kids. A bunch of memories were here for me. The park we’d go to to get away, our high school, my old house, and then her house. I drove by but didn’t see any cars in the driveway. When we left, she didn’t have a car yet, so I didn’t even know if she had one now. I heard Niall say something about pizza and I knew there was only one pizza place in town. So I drove over there, and sure enough, Niall’s car was there. I pulled into the parking lot and figured I’d just show up and see what they were doing. But when I walked in, out of all the places to be, (Y/N) was here, with the boys. And someone else?

Your POV:
I could feel my eyes freeze on Zayn, and I knew the boys noticed me too because they followed to where I looked. Their faces grew serious when they saw Zayn. I finally looked away as Zayn started walking over to us. “Am I missing something?” Trever asked. I didn’t want to lie to him. “Remember in the beginning when I said I had a bad break up?” He nodded his head. “Well this is the guy. He’s part of their band.” Trever didn’t look mad, which I was glad for. “(Y/N) I’m sorry, we didn’t tell him we were coming here.” Louis leaned in and said. “It’s ok Lou.” Zayn finally reached our table and then just stood there. When I looked at him, I thought I would feel hatred towards him, anger, anything. But instead, I just felt nothing. I knew in the beginning, that in order for me to move on, I had to forgive him for what he did. And since I already did that, I felt nothing when seeing him. “Zayn, what’s up man?” Niall asked suspiciously. He just continued to look at me. That’s when Trev took the initiative to get up and introduce himself. And I tried so hard to hold back my laugh. “Zayn right? I’m Trever. Her boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and Zayn just looked at him shocked.

Zayn’s POV:
Her boyfriend? She had a boyfriend? And he was freakin blonde?! I had no clue why I was suddenly feeling jealous, but you don’t know how bad I wanted to hit the guy. But I held myself back because I didn’t want to act like an idiot in front of (Y/N). So after just looking at ‘Trever’, I finally shook his hand lightly. Then he just sat down. I was at a loss for words. Seeing her again, all my feelings came back unexpectedly. I went back to looking at her. I expected her to avoid my gaze, but instead, she looked me straight in the eyes. She really moved on then. Because if she still loved me, she wouldn’t be able to hold my stare then. Wow. I felt stupid for feelings these things. It was like I was seeing her for the first time again. “Zayn.” She finally spoke to me. “(Y/N), um hi.” “Can we help you?” I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I didn’t want to be here anymore, so I made up some bullshit excuse. “I, um, lost my key so I came to get one of the boys’.” I looked at them and they knew I was lying. But Niall gave in and gave me his. I said thank you and just walked out. But before I got back into my car, I looked back at them through the window. They were all smiling and laughing with each other. And when I saw her look at her now boyfriend, I knew the look. Because that was the way she used to look at me. And I knew then, that even though I had lost her, I still loved her. I drove back to the hotel and just sat in my room. I was glad I had my own room because it gave me time to think. I went over everything in my head. How could I be feeling like this when me and Carly just broke up? I told Carly I loved her and not even 4 months later I’m falling in love with (Y/N) again? What the hell. But I couldn’t control my emotions. Was I just trying to convince myself to love Carly to get over (Y/N)? I had never asked myself that or even thought about that. Because when I told (Y/N) that, I believed it was true. But now looking back, I knew it wasn’t the day I woke up without her. I just used Carly to replace her because I wanted her back so much but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Gosh, how screwed up am I? I still wanted to tell (Y/N) I was sorry for what I did, so I tried one last time to text her.

Your POV:
We had just finished eating with the boys and they were leaving. “Thank you guys for coming. I’m glad you guys got to meet him.” I hugged all of them. “No problem love, we loved seeing you again. We’ll be here for a couple of days so maybe we can hang out again. You know, if you can handle our crazy schedule.” Liam said winking at me. “Pssh, I grew up with it, I can fit myself in aha.” “But really (Y/N), we’re glad to see you happy, and Trever, he’s a keeper. I can tell.” I laughed and thanked Harry for that. “And we apologize about the Zayn thing, we didn’t know he would come here.” “You know what, it was ok. I thought I would feel anger when I saw him, but I just felt nothing. So it’s ok boys.” “Alright, well we’ll see you laters babe. Bye!” We all said bye and they left. I went back to Trever and he drove me home. “I hope that wasn’t awkward for you babe.” He just laughed. “No it wasn’t. I thought it would be when you said that was the guy you used to date, but I think I handled myself well.” All I could do was smile. Honestly he was the best man ever. “Yes, yes you did. You were the bigger person. So thank you.” “Anything for you love. Plus aside from that, the boys are cool. They’re not uptight like most famous people, so it was nice just to talk. Plus I finally had guys to talk to.” He winked at me and I just laughed. “Ahh, I love you trever.” Before I could stop myself, that last part slipped out. I closed my eyes and silently said ‘oh shit’. I didn’t mean to say that. Shit what if he doesn’t say it back! But when I opened my eyes, he was just smiling at me. “I was waiting for you to say that. I love you too babe.” He grabbed my face and kissed me. I instantly relaxed in his arms. I really did love this boy. “I was so scared you wouldn’t say it back.” I said after he pulled away. “Are you kidding, that’s why I hadn’t said it first. I was scared of the same exact thing.” “Ok, from now on we just tell each other what we’re feeling no matter what ok?” “Deal babe.” We pulled up at my house and I kissed him again and got out.
As he was leaving I felt my phone vibrate again. It was Zayn. ‘Can I please see you? I want to talk to you. Please?’ I knew what I had with Trev was real, so anything Zayn wanted to say wouldn’t change my mind, so I figured, why not? I wanted know what he so badly wanted to tell me anyways.’Fine, tomorrow at my place then.’ I put my phone away and just went inside.

Zayn’s POV:
The next day I found myself anxious. Maybe it was because I was actually going to get to talk to her again. And last night, I decided I’d tell her how I feel because I needed to share it with someone. When I got to her house, I hesitated on knocking on the door, but I let out one last sigh and finally knocked. I could hear her coming towards the door and she opened it. She didn’t say hi, just stepped aside to let me in. I walked in and looked around. The place still looked the same and I had forgotten how much I missed this place. “Are your parents home?” I don’t know why I asked that. “No, they’re at work.” She said walking into the kitchen. I followed and sat down at the table with her. “Want anything to eat or drink?” I knew with what I was about to say, I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. “No thank you.” “Ok, so. What did you want to talk about?” She sat down and just looked at me. I didn’t know how to start this, but here goes nothing. “(Y/N), I um, look I just wanted to apologize for what I did to you. The reason why I waited so long to do this is because it took someone hurting me for me to realize what you went through. And I now know the feeling and I know it isn’t good. But for you, I know it was worse. And I am truly sorry for my mistakes and outlashes.” I watched her face but she showed no emotion, nor did she show any signs of talking, so I kept going. “I shouldn’t of treated you like that, and in no way did I mean to physically hurt you. I deeply regret that, you don’t know how much. And I completely understand if you don’t forgive me, I wouldn’t expect you to. But (Y/N)………….I also wanted to tell you that…………..after seeing you yesterday….and how happy you looked, I realized I still love you and that I miss you……..” I stopped not knowing how else to express that last part. She just looked at me for a while, but finally responded. “Well for one, thank you for apologizing. Two, I forgave you a long time ago Zayn.That’s what helped me move on, I knew if I dwelled on the past, I wouldn’t be able to, so I forgive you. Three, I have a boyfriend Zayn and you have a girlfriend.” She forgave me already? Wow. “I did,” I corrected her, “I did, but um we broke up.” “Ahh, ok, but that doesn’t change that I have a boyfriend. And I am very happy with him,” my face fell when she said that, “And Zayn, if I’m being totally honest with you, I seriously don’t have any feelings towards you at all. I don’t hate you, I’m not mad at you, I don’t loathe you, and lastly I don’t love you anymore. I stopped loving you the day I moved on.” She had no feelings whatsoever. I didn’t expect her to, but for her not to even loathe me, it hurt. I didn’t know what to say anymore. How do you respond after that? “Zayn look, I appreciate you coming here and trying to set things right, and you did, so thank you, but you need to move on. Move on and find someone who makes you happy like I did. You need to let go and just live. Don’t think back about what you did to me, because I don’t. Like I said, I forgive you, and you need to forgive yourself.” My eyes watered at that. “I truly want to see you happy and live again Zayn. Because that’s the boy I remember from my childhood. If I can do it, you can too. I believe in you. As soon as you forgive yourself Zayn, let me know. Because I’d love to have the relationship that I have with the boys, with you too. But you just need to let go ok?” I looked up at her and her face was sincere. I didn’t think I could ever be her friend again if I loved her. All I’d think about is what I don’t have. But she’s right, I did need to move on. “Ok,” was all I could say. I stood up to leave and she walked me to her door. After I opened it and stepped out and turned around again. “Um, thank you (Y/N).” “Zayn just remember, let go okay? It makes everything better.” I just nodded my head and left.
A week later, I was back home, just thinking about her. If I truly loved her, how could I just let her go? Sure it would make everything better, but I just wanted her. I was laying on my bed when I remembered the box of pictures under my bed. I sat on the floor with them and started going through them. And that’s when I finally broke, I let go of all my emotions I was holding in. It deeply hurt looking at the pictures of us. We were so happy. She is so beautiful and she never judged me. Every picture she looked at me as if she could never live without me. But I took her for granted, and now I’d never get the chance to love her again. She found happiness, but it’s not with me. And it’s all my fault. I did this, I ruined everything and broke both our hearts. But hers is now mended and here I am crying for her. Why didn’t I realize this the night of our fight. Oh yeahh, because I was freakin drunk. I hadn’t touched a drink since then. But it wasn’t good enough. I knew I had to change my ways now. I had to try to move on so I could try and be happy. The thing is though, I didn’t believe I could……