Annat slut / alternativ slut

Your POV:
I still couldn’t move, I couldnt open my eyes, nothing. But when I was conscious, I could hear things. But more importantly I heard when the boys came in. One at a time. First was Liam. I so badly wanted to wake up and tell him nothing was his fault, I wanted to slap him for even thinking that. How could he, I chose to do this, it had nothing to do with him. But when he started telling me his feelings….I wanted to cry. Liam loved me…..he loves me even after this? I couldn’t help but feel relief when I heard him talking to me. The things he said..no one’s ever said those words to me, not even Niall. Liam poured his heart out to me, but I couldn’t respond. You don’t know how badly I wanted to. Liam is such a good person, but idk if I deserve him. He deserves someone who doesn’t have an ugly past like me. But I’m glad to hear his voice, he calmed me. Made me feel better, and hearing him say he wants me to wake up made me want to fight even more to wake up. But I just couldn’t…..it was easier said than done. I don’t know why I couldn’t wake up. Something was holding me back and I couldn’t fight it. Sometimes I could feel myself slipping away and I would be ready to go, but then I’d come back. It was like my heart was fighting for me to wake up, not my mind. I just didn’t know what to do though. Harry came in next, his deep voice letting me know who it was. He was sad, I knew it. And I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. But he let me know he loves me and wants me to also wake up. Zayn’s accent was one of a kind to me, so I loved hearing it, but of course he was sad too. Then Louis, sweet Louis, of all of them, I hated to hear him sad. It was heartbreaking hearing them, I wanted to reach out to them and let them know I was ok, but I couldn’t. They must all be mad at me because I promised them. They wont ever look at me the same…I ruined it. Not only my life, but my friends’. After Louis left, I could feel myself drifting away, but then I heard someone I hadn’t expected to. Niall’s irish accent. I could feel my heart beat race….because I was scared of what he was going to say. I wanted to be so mad at him, but even in this state, I couldn’t. Just when I thought I was going to black out again, I heard his voice. His voice kept me awake. Gosh how I missed his voice, missed his arms around me, missed him in every way. But then I remembered why I was in here. Liam was right, I should have never done this because of a boy. But i’m slowly learning from my mistakes and I know I can’t risk making another. Niall said he still loves me and wants me back. I could hear the sadness in Niall’s voice, but it all seemed out of guilt to me. I still loved Niall, but I didn’t deserve what he did to me. Should I take him back? If I ever wake up, I’ll decide then.

Liam’s POV:
It’s been a week since the accident. (Y/N)’s been unconscious for the most part of it. I was afraid she’d fall into the temporary thing the doctor mentioned. But every day I’d go and see her. I’d talk to her and hold her hand. Praying for a miracle to happen. I just wanted her to wake up and be alright. She didn’t have to be with me, but if she were to take me, I’d make her the happiest girl. I know I can, but if she didn’t, I’d also understand. Sometimes I could see her eyes twitch under her eyelids, and I’d think she’d open her eyes, but she wouldn’t. I kept praying and praying she’d wake up, but the doctors said there was no change in her condition. I know Niall’s been coming in too, but I can’t stand to see him. All of us, we’re all torn about this. Who knew it would take one girl to tear us apart. But it wasn’t (Y/N) who tore us apart, it was Niall. He did this. And I hope he was suffering for it. It was the start of another week and I was sitting in (Y/N)’s room reading her one of her favorite books, but when I looked up, she was looking at me. “(Y/N)?!”

Your POV:
I could hear Liam reading to me. I smiled because it was one of my favorites…….wait I just smiled? I tried opening my eyes and found that I could! The room was so bright though it hurt. So I closed them again, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to open them again so I opened them. When I found I could move my head, I turned to look at Liam. He was still reading, but he didn’t see me. I took this moment to study him. He looked in pain, sad, and angry all at the same time. I felt like crying seeing him like this. But as I sat there, I really looked at him. Liam had beautiful features. Ever since he cut off his hair, I hadn’t noticed him, but now I could see his face. His bone structure was like something out of a novel, and his eyes, the perfect shade of brown. His lips, the way his mouth moved, he was just beautiful. How come I hadn’t realized him before? It was then when Liam looked up and saw me looking at him. “(Y/N)?!” I gave him a weak smile and reached out my hand. He immediately dropped the book and grabbed my hand. He kissed my hand and just rested his head again it. I reached over with my other hand and rubbed his head. I could finally feel things, and Liam being the first thing I felt made me feel a lot better. I realized then that he had started crying. I wanted to cry too, but I knew I had to be strong for both him and I. “Liam………please don’t cry.” My throat was so dry it came out as a whisper. He looked up at me. His eyes were red and now puffy, but I could tell in his expression he was relieved and happy to see me. I smiled at him again to let him know I was ok. “(Y/N)…..are you………you’re finally awake…” I let out a little laugh, but it hurt to laugh. “Yes Liam….yes I am.” “Gosh……(Y/N) you don’t know how worried I’ve been……I’ve been praying everyday….waiting to see you wake up….and you’re finally here babe. God it’s good to see you smiling again.” I figured I should get right to the point with him. “Li….i’m sorry.” “Sorry? Sorry for what babe?” “I’m sorry you had to find me like that. Im sorry I did this to myself even though I promised I wouldn’t. But Liam…” “(Y/N), it’s ok. You don’t have to apologize for anything. Nothing. I’m glad I was the one who found you, knowing I was the one who saved you makes me feel less guilty.” “Liam…thank you. Words cannot express how happy I am that you saved my life. I owe you babe.” “You don’t owe me anything. Just please (Y/N), you can’t do this to yourself again. Never. Whenever you feel down again, just please come and talk to me. Or it doesn’t even have to be me, just talk to someone, anyone. This was so much on all of us, but more importantly on me…” He paused and I could tell he was going to repeat what he had told me. But I knew as soon as I woke up and saw him sitting next to me, my decision was made. I put my finger on his lips to stop him from talking. “Li……I heard everything.” His face lit up but also got a look of sadness in his eyes. “So…….you heard what I said?” He had a worried look now. “Yes, I did. And Li, I just want to let you know. Those words you said to me, no one has ever said that to me, and believe me, you helped me through this along with the other boys too….But Li….” I stopped to look him directly in his eyes. “I’m flattered that you’ve fallen for me, but I don’t deserve someone as good as you.” His face instantly turned into an argument face, but I stopped him. “Li, you deserve someone who isn’t damaged like I am. I’ll only remind you of what I’ve done. I don’t want to hurt you.” “(Y/N) the only way you can hurt me is if you don’t let me take care of you. I don’t care that you’re damaged or about anything that I’ve seen. I want you just the way you are love, and I want you to be mine……if you’ll have me.” His eyes were just longing for hope as he waited for me to answer.  I knew my decision when I woke up an saw Liam. But I knew it wasn’t Liam I wanted to be with. I hated myself for not wanting him, but I knew I still loved Niall too much and all I’d do is hurt Liam, and he didn’t deserve that. “Liam……….I love you…..but as a friend.” His face fell and I felt horrible. But he needed to hear this. “You’ve been there for me, and all this time, i’ve grown to see you as the big brother i’ve always wanted. Liam, I still love Niall. No mater what he’s done, I still love him, I can’t just ignore my feelings for him babe. But Liam, please don’t let this affect us. I still need you in my life and to be there for me. Can you do that?” He didn’t answer for a while which made me think he wasn’t going to want to be my friend, but eventually he answered. “Of course (Y/N). I respect you and Niall. And i’m glad to have a place in your life. I love you (Y/N). And I can respect your request. But you know I’ll always be here for you ok?” I nodded my head and smiled. Thankful Liam was taking this so easily. “I’m going to go let the nurses know you’re awake ok?” He left the room and I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I guess while he was out he told the other boys too because they soon started coming in. Harry arrived first and just hugged me. He started crying as he was hugging me and I just held him even harder. The same happened with Louis and Zayn. I loved these boys so much and appreciated them for being in my life. “Guys…I, um, just wanted to apologize. I know I promised you but..” “(Y/N) stop. It’s ok. We all forgive you, we’re just happy you’re awake and well. You’re back in our lives, that’s all that matter love.” Louis said. All I could do was smile at them. But then from the corner of my eye, I could see another figure entering the room. I turned to see Niall. He walked in slowly, looking scared to be here. It was probably because of the boys all being there. I knew he felt uncomfortable, but he still made the effort to come here. I gave him credit for that. I looked at Liam and nodded my head, letting him know it was alright. Him and the boys then left the room to give us some privacy. As soon as were were alone, Niall just stood by the door, frozen. He looked like someone had ran him over. His hair was a mess, his clothes wrinkly, and his face had bruises. “Ni?”

Niall’s POV:
I heard the news that (Y/N) had finally woke up from Zayn. I was glad he told me because as soon as I heard, I ran out the door. On the way over here I felt confident in myself seeing her again, but when I got there all the boys were there laughing with her. And instantly I felt that confidence go away. Should I even be here? But seeing (Y/N) smile again, I knew I had to be here. But I didn’t make any approach to her. She smiled at Liam, and then boys left, leaving us alone. But I still couldn’t move towards her. I must of looked a mess because she had a hard look on her face when she loooked at me, but when she said my name, it woke me up. I walked over to her bed and just looked at her. She looked so much better,  back to herself. But when I looked at her arm, I could see the stitches and scaring already starting to appear. My eyes started watering at the sight. “Niall?” I looked directly into her eyes, better late than never I guess. I sat down and grabbed her hand. It fit into mine just perfectly like it always has. I missed this. “(Y/N), I am so sorry for what I did. I’m an asshole. A dick, whatever you want to call me. I just want you to know it was never my intention to hurt you babe. I…..” I started crying again, but (Y/N) just put her hand up to my face and wiped away my tears. I leaned into her hand and closed my eyes, wishing this moment could just stay like this forever, but no sooner had she put her hand there, she took it away. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “Ni, I heard everything the first time you came in here.” I let out a breath I hadn’t known I had held in. It was sort of a relief hearing that. “Ni, I love you, I do, but I can’t forgive you for what you did. Nor can I forget about it. You……you broke me. You were the one who made me believe in love, and then you took that away from me.” I started to protest but she kept going. “The only thing I have to say to you is sorry. I’m sorry for putting you through this. I shouldn’t have done this to myself, but doing this, I’ve learned from it. This time I can actually say I wont be doing this again. But Niall, I can’t be with you.” I put my head down hearing what she was saying. It was breaking my heart all over again. “I love you Niall, but we just can’t do this. Who’s to say you wont do this again? I can’t have the same thing happen to me again babe.” She then let out a little laugh. I looked up at her and frowned. “Niall, please just do me one favor.” I didn’t know if I could do her any good for anything, not any more. She didn’t want me back, how was I going to accept that? But all in all, I understood. It may take some time, but I could get through it. “Anything babe.” “Please just for me, still be my friend. I’ve known you for too long just to let our friendship end. No matter what happens, be my friend.” I thought about what she was saying, I didn’t think I could be friends with someone I still loved. But if this meant we’d still have some type of relationship, then I’d take it. “Yes, I will. Gladly.” She smiled. “Thank you Ni.” “No, I should be the one thanking you (Y/N). But I really am sorry…” “I know Ni, I know. But let’s move on ok?” “Ok.” My heart still hurt, but I felt better knowing I would still be apart of her life.  I got up to leave but she stopped me by grabbing my hand. “Niall……thank you.” I looked back at her, my heart constricting, but I couldn’t help be content with what was happening. “Sure (Y/N).” I started walking towards the door, but before I left, I gave her one last longing look. I was happy she was still here, but I knew I had to win her back somehow. I loved her too much to let her go.

—One week later—

Your POV:
It’s been a week since I’ve been released. I was still staying with Liam because I had nowhere to go. And he respected my privacy and didn’t change in any way towards me. It felt good to be back at home. But over the course of the week, I couldn’t help but think about Niall. I really did it, I told him I couldn’t be with him, but when I said that, my heart broke. I still loved him, but did he deserve me? He looked a mess when he came to see me. I couldn’t help but feel he really did feel bad about what he did. But I knew I could never forgive him for it. He still texted me, checking in on me to see how I was doing. I was glad he still kept in touch, but he never made it a point to come over and see me. And that hurt, because I knew our relationship probably wouldn’t be the same anymore. Liam would see me in my room crying because I miss Niall, but he never said anything. He’d just hold me and told me everything would be ok.

Niall’s POV:
Its been a week since (Y/N) has gotten out, and it’s been a week since i’ve been thinking of a way to get her back. I would text her, but I couldn’t go and see her until I knew exactly how to win her back. But what shocked me was when Liam and all the boys showed up at my house one day. I opened the door and there they all were, just standing there looking at me. Liam had a pained look on his face and I immediately thought of (Y/N). Was she ok? “Guys…..?” “Can we come in?” Zayn asked. I stepped aside to let them in. We all sat in the living room to talk. I noticed Liam looking around the room, probably noticing I hadn’t taken down the pictures of me and (Y/N). I just couldn’t take them down. But I guess I probably should. “I know, I haven’t taken them down.” Liam turned back to look at me. His face serious. He had slowly begun talking to me again, but it was still strained. “Ni…..first off i’d like to apologize for what I did to you back at the hospital. Yelling at you, hitting you. I just lost it and I’m sorry. But we all came here because we’re worried about (Y/N).” I didn’t react to Liam apologizing to me because as soon as he said (Y/N)’s name, I could only think about that. “What’s wrong?” “Ever since she’s been back, I mean she’s great, but you can tell she’s sad Ni. She tells me everything’s ok with her, but when I walk by her room, I can hear her crying. And when I look in it’s because she’s looking at a picture of you. She misses you Ni. And all of us felt we owed it to her to come and tell you this……….because you need to win her back Niall. Not just for her, but for you too. We all want you both happy.” I was surprised to hear this. (Y/N) said she couldn’t forgive me for what I did and she didn’t want me. But she also said she’d couldn’t trust that I would do this again. So how was I suppose to win her back. “How am I suppose to do that? She said she doesn’t want me.” “We’ve arrange for you two to go out to dinner. She doesn’t know about it being you that she’s going to dinner with. Win her over like you did on your first date. Tell her what your heart’s thinking mate. I know you guys can work things out.” After Zayn finished, I sat there and thought about what he was saying. Would that really work? When I looked up all the boys were nodding their heads, even Liam. “Ok, I’ll do it. When is this dinner?” “Tonight.” “Tonight?! Dang short notice guys.” “Don’t worry you’ll be fine Ni. Just be at Nandos by 7pm. We’ll bring her around 7:30 ok?” “K.” They all started to get up and leave but before they could I stopped them. “Um, thank you guys. I really appreciate this. Really, I do.” They eached hugged me and I felt better about our relationship. When I hugged Liam, he held on the longest. “Please treat her right Niall.” He whispered. “I will mate.” He let go and smiled. They all left, and when I looked at the clock it was already 5pm. I had to hurry up and get ready and think about what I was going to say.

Your POV:
Liam came home telling me to get ready because we were going out to eat with the boys. I wondered if Niall would be there too but he made no mention of it. It was already 5 so I started getting ready. I took my shower, did my hair and make up and chose casual clothes because I couldn’t bring myself to put on a dress. I didn’t feel the need to. So when I came down stairs and saw Liam in casual clothes too I felt a little better. We drove over to Nandos and saw the boys outside waiting for us, I looked for Niall, but didn’t see him. I felt a little sad, but still greatful these guys were taking me out. Liam and I got out and greeted the boys. They held open the door for me and I walked in. When I walked in I noticed there was no one else there. What the hell? It’s Saturday, they’re usually busy as hell. I turned to look at the boys and they just pretended this was normal. Hmm..They started walking towards the back so I followed them. As soon as we turned a corner I froze, seeing who was sitting there. It was Niall. Sitting in a booth, in a tux, with candles surrounding the booth. There were rose petals all over the table and even a path towards the table. I smiled seeing this. I looked at Niall and he looked nervous, but he smiled when he saw me. I turned and looked at the boys and they were all smiling at me. They had set this up, they knew. God how I loved them. ‘Thank You’ I mouthed to them. They all nodded and walked away, leaving me and Niall alone. I started walking down the rose path towards the table. When I reached the end, Niall stood up and took my hand. “Hi (Y/N).” He kissed my hand and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but feel so happy at the moment. Niall was here, trying to impress me. He hadn’t dressed up like this for me in a long time, but I appreciated it now. But now I felt stupid for wearing casual clothes, but Niall didn’t seem to care. “Hi Ni.” He motioned for me to sit down, i did and he sat opposite me. He still looked nervous, so I smiled at him to let him know it was ok. “Niall, stop being so nervous.” “Uh, sorry, I just um..Want this to be perfect for you.” That made my heart skip a beat. He didn’t know how much this meant to me, seeing him. “Niall, you being here is perfect enough.” “Wow…really?” He didn’t seem to believe me when I said that, so I wanted to let him know how I felt. “Yes babe. And to be honest, I’ve miss you.” He left out a huge breath and I laughed. “(Y/N) you don’t know how good it is to hear that. I, um, I know that words can’t describe how much I regret doing what I did and how sorry I am. And I don’t know how many times I can tell you that, but I miss you. I miss us. I miss coming home and seeing you dancing around the kitchen in my clothes. You looked so happy to be with me, and that’s what made me happy.” My eyes started to water but I didn’t want to cry yet. “(Y/N) I feel so lonely without you. I can’t move on and forget the wonderful relationship I had with you. Hell, I havent even taken down all the pictures of us. And when I came home that night and saw the one from our first date on the ground, that’s when I knew I had made a mistake. I love you (Y/N), always have, always will.” He looked down and started playing with his hands, something I knew he did when he was really nervous about something. “Remember, when we I found you the first night we got together?” He looked up at me.  I knew what he was going to say, so of course I started crying. “I told you  that I loved you. I told you that nothing would ever come between us. And (Y/N), I meant it when I said that. Nothing, this thing that happened, it was just a little bump in our relationship.” He then got up and came over to where I was sitting. What he did next though shocked the hell out of me. He pulled a little black box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. My breath caught in my throat as he took my hand and put the box in my hand. I was sobbing by now, but I was so happy about this. It was the same box my earrings had been in, and I remember thinking it was a ring then. This time, it better be a damn ring I swear. “(Y/N), if you’ll have me……I’d like you to be my wife.” I opened the box and saw a beautiful diamond ring. It was one of the ones I joked around with him about that I wanted. He remembered, this made my heart beat faster. I looked at him, he was waiting for my answer. I know I couldn’t forgive and forget what he did, but I knew deep down that my love for him overpowered any of that. “Yes, Ni. Yes!” He took the ring out and put it on my left ring finger, he jumped up and hugged me in one of his Niall Horan hugs. He was so happy. I was happy, and I’m glad he asked. The boys then all came from around the corner and started clapping. Niall let go of me enough to look at them. They were all smiling and I couldn’t help but look at Liam. He nodded his head and smiled at me. I smiled back and then looked at Niall. I kissed him and hugged him again. Thankful for everything that had happened. Even though it was bad, bad things happen in order for good things to come along, and I was thankful for Niall and all the boys in my life.