[Part 6]

Harry’s POV

3 weeks earlier

The first page of her journal had my name as the first word. 

‘Harry. Harry Styles. I can’t believe he actually sees something in me. I don’t see anything great about me, but he constantly says he does. I don’t understand why but he’s still here.’

I shook my head at that. This girl puts herself down so much it hurts. The next page was heartfelt.

‘Even before Harry, I’ve been insecure about my weight. That’s why I’m surprised he’s with me. I’m not skinny like the girls he’s usually with, but he tells me he loves my body. But deep down, I won’t believe it. I feel like he’s saying it just to make me feel better about myself. If I know I’m fat, then he must see it also. Everyone else does, so I know he does. I hate myself. I hate my body. I just wish I could lose weight for him. Maybe he’d love me more and I’d believe it when he says he loves my body…’

I thought back to about what I said to Louis. Emily was right. Before I’d say that I wouldn’t date a girl like (Y/N), but she changed it all for me. Maybe I could come to love her again? Maybe if I gave her a chance I’d remember my love for her? Over the next 2 weeks, I sat there and read every word of her journal. Tears formed in my eyes as I read her doubting herself more and more. She shouldn’t have to feel like that, but I made it even worse for her..I needed to get ahold of her.

Your POV

Present

I was packing what little things I had at Lou’s into boxes so I could move with my mom. Once again, my phone started ringing. Last week I was surprised when Harry called my phone. I didn’t believe it at first when his name showed up on my screen, but he was. I didn’t answer though. I didn’t know if I could handle what he was going to say to me. But he kept calling and calling. Like now, he was calling again. He’s been calling, but never bothering to show up in person at Lou’s, so I didn’t think he really wanted to talk to me. 

This day next week, we would’ve been getting married. I got choked up, but held my tears back. It was over anyways. But the rest of my things were at his house, and I needed to get them. I would’ve asked the boys to get them, but they were all out doing interviews. So maybe Harry was with them as well. This was my opportunity to go and get them without him being there. I grabbed my phone and keys and drove over there. 

I used the key I still had and opened the door. I didn’t see Harry when I walked in so I went straight up to the bedroom. I grabbed a few boxes and started throwing my clothes in there. It went by fast as I moved onto my jewelry and accessories. I left a few things that Harry had given me on the dresser. Under the bed, were all the photos of him and I. I dragged the box out and contemplated taking all of it with me. But in every single picture was Harry. I knew I wanted these memories though. He didn’t remember them, so what was the use. 

I threw them in a box and then stood in front of the big white bag in the closet. I slowly unzipped it and opened it all the way. My beautiful dress…….never to be worn. I ran my hand over the handmade jewels I picked out for it. I loved everything about this dress. It was made just for me, with everything I’d ever wanted, but now it was just a waste.

“It’s beautiful.” My hand froze, as did my body. I hadn’t even heard him come in, but as I turned around, there he was standing in the doorway. His face fell when he looked at me. “You’ve lost weight..” I turned back around and put the dress back in the bag and zipped it back up. I’d gotten back to my normal eating habits, but I still looked like I hadn’t eaten in days. I grabbed the dress from the closet and stuffed it in one of the boxes. I knew there was one thing left I had to grab and then I’d be on my way. But as I went to the bed to find it, it wasn’t there. 

“Are you looking for this?” Harry walked over to his dresser, opened the first drawer and pulled out my journal. My heart stopped and my face burned red. He found it. After living with him for so long, he finally found it. He slowly walked over to me and held it out to me, but as I went to reach for it, he pulled it back and grabbed my wrist with his other hand. “Please tell me you didn’t do this because of me.” His face had guilt written all over it and his eyes filled with hurt. My eyes mirrored the same feeling because I was standing in front of him for what would be the last time. “It’s what you like isn’t it..” He dropped my wrist and brought his hand up to my face. Slowly shaking his head, he caressed my left cheek and stared at me. “I am so sorry (Y/N). I know Lou told you, but I……..I was in a different state of mind. But when Emily came over….” I could feel my body stiffen as I heard her name and I know he felt it too….”she told me what I had been missing since I woke up. Before you, I told myself I wouldn’t date someone who isn’t skinny, but I fell for you. It didn’t matter that you weren’t skinny because I saw your personality, not your body. And although I do love your body, that’s not why I’m with you. But reading this,” he held up my journal, “it broke my heart to see what you’ve been thinking the whole time you were with me.”

A lump was forming my throat and tears threaten to fall from my eyes, but I didn’t want to break in front of him. He set the journal down and held onto both my hands. “I may not remember what we had, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I do know that I want to be with you. I want to try and remember because that’s how much I want this to work. I’ve been trying to tell you this for the past week, but you wouldn’t answer. So (Y/N), please….I’m sorry the wedding was canceled, I’m sorry for the things I’ve said, I’m sorry for not believing you when you said we were together. But most of all, I’m sorry this happened to you. If you know me as well as I think you do, you know that I’d never hurt you. And I am sorry that things happened the way they did, but unexpected things happen that we can’t control. So, what do you say we start all over and regain what we had, for both of us?”

It wasn’t the best apology, but he was willing to do this again because he knows that he loved me.“What if you don’t come to love me?” He smiled and squeezed my hands. “I have faith that it will. You have to trust this, trust me.” I looked at him and couldn’t help but see the faith he was talking about. No there might not be a marriage anytime soon or happiness right away, but I knew being with him was the only thing I’d ever want. So if he was willing, then I was too. “Okay..” “One condition though.” “What?”“You have to get back to your old body. I like you that way better. And don’t ever doubt yourself the way you have in this journal of yours.” I let out a small smile and shook my head. I didn’t know if I could ever get over that, but for him, I’d try. “Deal.” “Thank you (Y/N).”

5 Months Later

I sat out in the grass watching the sun go down and loved the feeling of the slight wind blowing through my hair. I loved being out here, I loved feeling better about myself, I just loved….everything. I could hear Harry coming down the front steps and running over to where I was. He fell beside me and gave me a warming kiss. As he pulled away he looked at me with love filled in his eyes. I loved when he looked at me like that. He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me to watch the sun go down with me. 

“I’m happy we moved here.” I smiled to myself. He and I made the decision to move somewhere secluded, somewhere more country so we could be by ourselves. So we did, and I was loving every moment of it. I thought after I said yes to trying again that it would be hard, but it wasn’t. It was smooth sailing from the moment I said yes, and Harry dedicated his every waking moment to getting to know me better and about our past memories.  I could see in his eyes he was wanting to remember so badly, but this would do for him. It was a start over for the both of us and it was going great. I still loved him the way I always had, and I could tell by the look in his eyes now, that he was starting to feel the same way.

Everyone was happy that we had stayed together and didn’t give us grief about the wedding since then, but they said someday they knew it would happen again. I wanted to get rid of my dress, but Harry told me to keep it. Did that mean he was going to ask me again? I didn’t know, but I listened to him anyways and hoped that that would happen again. But for now, all I could do was embrace what we had in this moment and fall in love with him even more.

[Part 5]

Harry’s POV

“But I’m with you..” Emily slowly started shaking her head. She put down her purse and pulled me down my hallway. “Look at this Harry, this is your life.” She turned on the light and I could see what she was talking about. On the walls were countless pictures of me and (Y/N), along with many other people. But there she was, in every picture, with me. We were both smiling and happy. But looking at this, I just couldn’t remember any of it. “The last thing I remember Emily, is being with you.” 

I looked at her and I could see her struggling to keep her frustration down. “Harry, we broke up 2 years ago. We’re still friends, but we don’t have feelings for eachother like that anymore. You moved on, I moved on, we’re done.” I felt a pang in my chest and I could feel my throat constricting. In reality it was hard to accept that, but looking at these pictures, it was all true. “But she’s not my type….” “Harry, you’ve always said you wouldn’t date a curvier girl, but then you met (Y/N), and none of that mattered anymore. Don’t go back to being like that, she’s a wonderful person. You asked her to marry you. You guys were made for eachother.”

She looked at me hoping I could see what she sees, but it only made it harder for me. “Thank you for coming over.” “No problem. But I’m going to leave this to the boys now. You need to get back to the way you were Harry.” And with that she left. I stood there still looking at the pictures. I looked more closely at how I looked with her, and I could see that in every picture, I had a smile on my face. I shook my head and headed back into the living room. I turned back on my phone and saw that I had over 30 messages from friends and family. All asked the same thing: what happened to the wedding.

I guess she canceled it. All I could think about was the wedding dress in my room and the engagement ring along with it. I must’ve really been in love with this girl..Just then my doorbell rang. I went to answer and saw Louis standing behind the door. “Hey, mind if we talk?” I nodded my head and walked into the living room and sat. Lou didn’t sit though, he paced in front of me. I could tell he wanted to get something off of his chest and it bothered me to see him like that. “Harry…..I don’t even know where to begin, but you need to get your memory back. This is killing all of us….especially (Y/N).” 

There was hurt in his eyes. You could see that he wanted to cry but was holding it back. I didn’t know how to respond though. How was I suppose to just remember everything, and it all go back to normal?It didn’t work like that. Then Lou disappeared down the hall and came back holding a dvd in his hand. He didn’t say a word, just went over to the tv and slipped the disc in the dvd player. Then my face came on the screen and someone was talking to me. It was the boys. “How do you feel Haz?” My face lit up and I smiled nervously. “I’m happy, but ready to do this.” “And what are you going to do today?” My smile widened even more. Just looking at it hurt my cheeks. “I’m going to ask the most amazing girl to marry me. So hopefully she says yes.” I put a thumbs up and then I could see Niall come out of the frame and hug me. Then Lou, Zayn and Liam. They were all happy for me.

Then it cut to me and (Y/N) walking through open grass and a beautiful barn in the back. I didn’t recall the place at all. But as we walked, I could tell by my face that I was starting to sweat. Then I turned to her and got down on one knee. Her face already turned to pure joy when she saw me pull out a little black box. Her hand came up to her mouth and tears started to form. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), you and I have been through so much together. Through laughs, tears, fights, but through it all, we made it and we’re stronger than ever. I love you babe, and I will only want you in my life, and I want that to be forever. So will you do the honor of becoming my wife and making me the happiest man on earth?” 

As I watched I could feel my heartbeat rising. Seeing this, seeing my love for her show so much, broke my heart. I said horrible things about her. Things that I clearly changed my mind about from watching this. “Yes Harry Styles, I would love nothing more than that.” I could see a tear forming in Lou’s eye from the corner of mine and I almost got choked up. He shut it off after that and looked at me. “Do you believe it now?” I was still speechless. I said nothing. Lou took that as a no and just walked out. 

I sat there and thought about everything. I was engaged. I was in love. (Y/N) is my fiance. Why can’t I remember any of it? I walked upstairs and flopped down my bed, intending to take a nap. But when I hit the pillow, I felt something hard underneathe it. I reached under and felt a hard cover. I pulled it out and found that it was a journal. I sat up and opened it. On the first page read ‘(Y/N)’s Thoughts’. I knew it was wrong of me, but I needed to see what was in here. And what I read broke my heart.

Your POV

3 weeks later

I hadn’t realized how much weight I lost until Liam said something. “What’ve you been doing?” “What are you talking about?” His eyes were filled with concern. “You’ve lost weight like crazy (Y/N). Don’t tell me this is because of Harry.” I looked down at myself and could see what he was talking about. My sweats hung loosely on my hips and my shirt now huge on me. I looked back on the past 3 weeks and couldn’t really remember the last time I’d ate. “I’ve just been busy Liam.” I tried to get away from his look, but he pulled me back to him. “You need to eat.” “I will, I promise.” His look told me he didn’t believe me, but he let it go.

I walked upstairs and looked at myself in the mirror. I no longer had curves. Gone was my stomach, my huge thighs, my round face, everything was just different. I hadn’t meant to do this on purpose, but it just happened.  Ever since canceling the wedding, I’d just been keeping myself busy and not eating enough. I needed to be doing something all the time and I guess it just slipped my mind. But this is the kind of girl Harry liked……but I knew I didn’t like myself like this.

[Part 4]

Your POV

The next morning I woke up with a massive headache. My head was still pounding and my eyes puffy. I did not want to get out of bed, but I knew I had to. I walked downstairs and found Lou’s note on the counter. ‘Went out to get us breakfast, be back soon!’ I smiled at his note. Last night he didn’t want to leave me alone, but I needed to be alone, so I told him I’d be fine. I went back upstairs and took a quick shower. I knew I had to start calling everyone and telling them….I was just dreading it already. 

I got out of the shower and Lou had returned. We sat and ate breakfast, but I ate very little because my stomach was hurting. It was his turn to go shower so I sat in my room and got out my phone. I stared at it not knowing what I was going to tell everyone. What was I going to say? The first person I called was my best friend. She yelled when I told her and I told her the whole reason why. She ended up crying with me and comforting me through it all. I loved her dearly and knew this was what I was going to have to deal with the whole day. My mother was the hardest to tell. She did not understand why we had called it off because I didn’t tell her the truth. I just said we had decided to go separate ways and she would not take it. My father was even more infuriated because his little girl was hurt. But I lied through my words and told them I was fine.

But I wasn’t. Each phone call I made, I was slowly dying inside. It was the same questions over and over again and anger along with it. I didn’t blame them. It was last minute and confusing for everyone. I had to call our vendors and wedding planner and just everything. After I was finally done, I broke down again. I could hear Louis come into my room and felt him sit down next to me. “You told everyone?” I wiped my eyes and nodded at him. “It’s done. It’s canceled.” I could see the hurt in his eyes as well. Louis was the most excited for us to get married because he helped a lot with it, but now it wasn’t going to happen. “Thank you for everything…really. I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if it weren’t for you. So thank you.” 

“I’m here for you (Y/N). You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m just sorry this has happened to you babe..” “I know, me too. But…..I guess life will go on huh?” I gave him a weak smile and he returned the favor. “I hate to leave you, but I have to go to the studio. Are you going to be okay here?” “Yeahh, go ahead. I’ll be here when you get back.” “Okay, I’ll see you for dinner.” He left and I sat there alone. I didn’t know what I was going to do now…..but I knew I couldn’t sit here and dwell. 

Harry’s POV

I woke up on the couch with a bag of water on my head. I was confused until I remembered I had put ice in it the night before. I got up and looked around. There was no one here and no sound at all. I reached for my phone and called Emily asking her to come over. She accepted so I decided to go take a shower. 

As I walked into my room, I noticed there was a woman’s touch to the room. I didn’t remember it being like this at all. I walked over to my closet and opened it, but half of it was filled with clothes for a girl….maybe they’re Emily’s? But as I got to the end of it, I sat a hanger with a white bag covering what was beneath it. I hesitated before unzipping it and seeing what it was. It was a wedding dress. I could feel my eyes widen and confusion set in. I don’t remember proposing to Emily….and then another thing caught my eye. I walked over to my dresser and picked up the ring that layed there. 

It was an engagement ring and I knew where I had seen it before. (Y/N) had it on when she came to see me. I set it back down and rubbed my face. Had I really been engaged to her? No, I couldn’t have. Just then my phone started ringing. I looked and saw it was my mother. But as soon as I answered it, she was yelling. “What has happened?! Why is the wedding canceled?!” “What wedding?” “Harry Styles you better be kidding. The wedding, yours and (Y/N)’s! I just got a call from her mother. Is it true?” “Mum, I don’t know what you’re talking about..” “So then it’s true. You don’t remember (Y/N)?” Even my mother believed this? I was shaking my head as I talked to her. “No mum, I’m with Emily, remember?” I could hear her go silent and then take a deep breath. “Harry, you and Emily broke up years ago, you’re not with her.” I couldn’t take it any more.

I hung up on her but no sooner had I done that, my phone went off again. This time it was another member of my family, calling about the same thing. Everyone continued to call me and complain to me about the wedding. I ended up shutting off my phone just to ignore everyone. But as I sat there and looked at the wedding dress, I was beginning to believe I had been engaged. But I just couldn’t grasp the idea of it.

Emily came over right after I got out of the shower and I held onto her like I hadn’t seen her in forever. “Um, Harry…” I realized I was squeezing her so I stepped back and apologized. “Sorry..” “It’s okay. Where’s (Y/N)?” I scratched my head and looked down. “Can I ask you something?” “Sure.” “Are we…….are we together?” Her face broke out in laughter and she smacked my arm. “Gods no. You’re engaged Harry….to (Y/N). Don’t you remember?” There it was. She confirmed what I was trying so hard to avoid. I was engaged to (Y/N).

[Part 3]

Your POV

I stayed up waiting for Harry to come home. I just couldn’t sleep. Then I got a text from Louis saying he’d be outside. I didn’t understand what he meant, but I didn’t care because Harry walked in. I stood up to greet him…..but he didn’t look so happy to see me. “You again…what are you doing in my house?” Did he really not know? “I live with you Harry….Like I said, we’re engaged.” He set his things down and leaned on the counter, clearly frustrated. He rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath. He looked back to me and shook his head. “I’m sorry but I don’t remember that. So I don’t believe that we’re engaged. I’m with Emily. She’s my girlfriend, you’re not.” 

That hurt. Him and Emily had been broken up for years, how could he possibly think he’s still with her? “Harry…if you just let me show you..” “NO! No..” It scared me when he raised his voice. I’d only ever heard him do that once, and now this time it was even more scary. He didn’t want to let me show him….he didn’t wait for an explanation. “Can you just please get out?” He pointed to the door.

This is what Louis meant. He knew this was going to happen. I ran upstairs to gather whatever I could. All of our pictures were in this house, all of our memories, well now my memories. I wanted to tear all of them down, break all of them, but I just couldn’t. Because those were the good memories. How could I just destroy those? Maybe he’d come to terms and realize we’re together, but as of now, I guess we’re not. I packed my clothes and stood at my dresser. I held my left hand in front of me and looked at it. I slowly slid the ring off my finger and placed it on the dresser. I guess I wouldn’t be needing that anymore…..wedding’s off…

I wanted to cry from the thought of that. The man I was suppose to marry……was no longer the man I wanted to marry. What was I suppose to tell others? I looked at myself in the mirror and squared my shoulders. ‘You can do this. Just go down there and act like it doesn’t hurt you’….I pulled out my phone and texted Lou saying I was coming. I walked downstairs and saw Harry sitting on the couch with an ice bag to his head. I didn’t say anything though. I just walked out.

I ran to Lou’s waiting car. Once inside, I broke down. He drove as fast as he could to his house and walked me inside. He picked me up and carried me to the couch. All I could do was hold onto him and cry. “I’m so sorry (Y/N)….I don’t even know how to handle this…” “I don’t either Lou….I just….I have to tell everyone it’s canceled…something I thought I’d never do….” Lou held me tighter and rocked me back and forth. 

I was so glad to have him but yet felt torn. He was Harry’s best friend, how was I going to come between them. As we were sitting there, the other boys came piling in. They each took turns holding onto me and some even crying with me. I knew they all felt bad for me, but I didn’t want them to. After I could calm myself, we all sat in a circle and talked. “What did he say…when you asked him?” I looked to Lou. He looked at the boys then nervously rubbed his ear. I could tell he didn’t want to tell me. “Tell me Lou. I can handle it.” “He, um, said that he was with Emily….” His eyes wandered to Niall and them and I knew there was more to the story. “There’s more, tell me.” 

I could see the hurt in his eyes already forming. It was bad….Lou couldn’t talk so Liam did it for him. “No matter what he says (Y/N), you are beautiful.” I already knew what was coming before he even got it out. “He said you’re not his type…….because you’re too curvy….” I could feel my body freeze and my temperature drop. I was too curvy…..meaning I was too fat for him……and Emily…..Emily was the perfect size. This is what I always battled with. It was all true……his ex-girlfriends all looked better than me because they were all skinny. I should’ve known he was lying to me this whole time….because how could he ever love someone like me…..I didn’t blame him. 

Niall reached over and grabbed my hand. “(Y/N), you are perfect. You are the most beautiful person ever….” “Stop.” I didn’t want to hear it. I knew the truth. They were just trying to make me feel better. “He’s right…” “Please don’t say that.” “Why? Because it’s the truth? It is Zayn. Emily is skinny and perfect. I never stood a chance.” I was slowly breaking down again. “Harry loves you babe, you guys are engaged..” “We were…….he used to love me….we used to be engaged…..now we’re nothing…..I’m nothing…..” That was my breaking point. Realizing I was nothing to him now…I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. All the while the boys sat there and held me, giving me endless compliments and trying to make me feel better. But it just wasn’t working…..I didn’t think I could ever get over this hurt.

[Part 2]

Your POV

Its been 1 week since Harry had his surgery done. I had been back and forth between our house and the hospital to keep track of his progress. The doctors said he was going to be fine and he did well during his surgery. Now I just needed him to wake up. I had been so stressed I noticed I had gained a little bit more weight and my acne was starting up again. But I didn’t worry too much about it, I was just worried about Harry for now.

As I was walking towards his room today, I could hear another girl’s voice in the room……along with Harry’s. He was awake? I got closer and stopped at the door. They were both laughing and giggling. As soon as I heard her laugh, I knew who it was. His ex-girlfriend Emily. I knew they had still kept in touch over the years, but it still surprised me that she had come all this way.

I walked all the way in and they stopped talking when they saw me. I awkwardly waved and said hi. But as I walked closer to Harry, he acted as if he didn’t know who I was. “(Y/N), how are you?” I looked to Emily and smiled politely. “I’m good Emily, how are you?” “Good, good. Just visiting Harry here.” We both looked to him and he smiled. “I’ll let you two be then. It was nice seeing you (Y/N).” “Thank you, bye.” 

She walked out and I just stood there. I looked back to him and he was just sitting there silently. “Babe, how are you?” He intertwined his fingers and let out a breath. “I’m good. Feeling fine. Just ready to leave.” As I sat down I texted the boys and let them know he was awake. “How come no one told me you were awake?” “Um….” He scratched his temple and and looked back to me. “I’m sorry but who are you again? (Y/N)….?” 

I started laughing because it seemed like he was playing around. But as I laughed, he just sat there with a serious face. I lost the grin and held up my left hand. “Harry, I’m your fiance. We’re getting married, remember?” I pointed to the diamond ring he gave me and he looked at it. I could see his confusion setting in and wrinkles starting to form on his forehead from scrunching. “I’m sorry….I don’t know of this…I have a girlfriend in fact..” 

What the hell was he talking about? I was going to ask but then the boys walked in. Harry’s face lit up when he saw them and they all came to hug him. I pulled back and stood in the background watching him interact with them. It seemed like he even forgot our conversation we just had. Louis noticed my separation and came over to sit by me. “What’s wrong (Y/N)? Aren’t you happy?” I gave a weak smile and nodded my head. “Of course I am Lou….it’s just….when I came to see him today…..he says he doesn’t remember me and says he has a girlfriend…..who isn’t me…” I looked to him for an answer and he just shook his head. “No. He’s playing around.” “I don’t think so Lou. He seemed dead serious. You guys came in before I could go any further. But when I first came, Emily was in here talking to him, and he remembered her fine. Why doesn’t he remember me? I mean we’re engaged..” 

Louis sat back and stared at Harry. He was all smiles talking to Niall and laughing. “Let me go see what’s on his mind then I’ll call you. Go back home (Y/N), get some rest.” I nodded my head and stood up to leave. Lou hugged and I looked to Harry. But he was too busy to notice me. I decided not to say goodbye to him and just left.

Harry’s POV

I was so glad to see the lads and even more excited that I was going to get to go home tonight. We were all talking but then it got quiet because Lou said out loud that he needed to ask me something. “Harry, who’s your girlfriend?” His question startled me and I let out a short laugh. He knows. “It’s Emily dummy. You know that.” If I thought it was quiet before, it got even more quiet….and serious. All their smiles dropped and they looked confused. “Harry……you guys broke up 2 years ago. You’re engaged to be married to (Y/N).” There that name was again. “No I’m not. I’m with Emily. I don’t know who (Y/N) is.” 

I could see Niall shaking his head out of the corner of my eye and it made me mad. “Why do you guys keep telling me that? She’s not my type, why would I be with her?” They all flinched when I said that. Was that so bad to say? (Y/N) was not my type. She was too………curvy. Emily was nothing like her. I’ve always been with Emily, not (Y/N). “I’m not engaged.” “Harry…..” Liam said my name in a hushed whisper, “what do you remember?” “I was out with Emily at a club when I got into a fight with a paparazzi. That’s it.” 

“That’s not what happened Haz.” “Then what did?” “You were out with (Y/N)….” I was beginning to get angry with them. “No I was not! I was with Emily. Now can you guys drop this (Y/N) girl?!” They all got quiet and just nodded their head. Soon after the nurse came in and let me go home. Lou drove me home and dropped me off. I walked in expecting to see Emily there, but instead I was greeted by (Y/N).

Part 1]

Your POV

“You know you’re beautiful.” 

I was standing in front of my mirror, picking out every flaw I saw on my body when Harry walked in. I pulled my shirt back down and smiled at him. He walked over and sat on our bed and motioned for me to sit on his lap. I sat down on him but didn’t put all my weight on him. This was something I struggled with:my weight. I did this everyday. I would look in the mirror, turning at every possible angle to see how bad I looked. Which is why I never understood why Harry chose me, but he did. 

“Why do you do this to yourself babe?” I looked down and played with my hands. “All of your ex-girlfriends are beautiful and skinny……and I’m just……blah.” I got up and went back to staring at my body. I could hear him getting up and felt his warm body behind mine. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “You, my darling, are not blah. I love your body, I love that you’re not skinny, and you are beautiful. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. How many times do I have to tell you that to make you see what I see?” 

We’ve been together for 2 years now, engaged and everything. I was still taking it all in and struggling with the constant hate I was receiving, but through it all, Harry has been by my side sticking up for me and telling me how beautiful I am. And although I so badly wanted to believe it, I just couldn’t. I wasn’t a size 0, my face wasn’t beautifully sculpted from the gods. No, I was round and had extra meat on me. But yet he still asked me to marry him. I turned around in his arms and buried my head in his chest. “I love you Harry Styles.” He kissed my head and squeezed me tightly. “I love you too future Mrs. Styles.”

I lifted my head and smiled at him. I loved hearing that and he loved saying that. “I can’t wait.” “Me neither babe.” Our wedding was in 2 months and each day that passed I got more and more nervous for it. I was going to commit my life to the one and only Harry Styles, and I was totally looking forward to it. “Let’s go out. Celebrate.” “Celebrate what?” “Does there have to be a reason? Let’s just go out. Get pretty and we’ll leave.” He kissed me again and left the room.

I pulled out Harry’s favorite outfit that I had and put it on. I didn’t like it because it hugged my body tightly and showed off way too many curves, but he loved it, so I wore it.

We went out to his favorite club and met up with the boys along with way. Of course there were fans and paparazzi already outside of the club so we were bombarded with flashing light and screaming. Harry held me close the shielded me from the blinding light. We finally made it into the club and proceeded to get drinks and dance. Niall was always fun to party with and Louis as well. Liam went off somewhere and Harry was by my side the whole night. He repeatedly told me how beautiful I looked tonight and gave me kisses every chance he got. I loved it.

When it came time to leave, Harry was a little wasted along with Niall and Louis. I was helping Harry walk while Liam and Zayn helped Niall and Lou. Paparazzi were constantly taking pictures of them and shouting things to us. Harry was whispering how much he loved me in my ear when we both heard something that stopped us. “(Y/N) is the fattest girl! You can do better Harry!” I could feel Harry tense up and turn to face the pap who said that. He let go of my body and walked over to the person. “Harry….” I went to go grab him but he held his hand up and got in the guy’s face. 

“Wanna say that again?” “Sure. (Y/N). Is. A. Fat….” The guy didn’t get to finish his sentence because Harry punched him in the face. I didn’t see it coming so I screamed at Harry when it happened. I turned to Zayn for help and he was already walking over to Harry. But when I turned back to see Harry, the guy was rearing back to punch him….and Zayn didn’t reach him in time. The guy punch Harry really hard in the head and Harry just knocked out. Zayn caught him and slapped him a couple of times to try and wake him up, but he wouldn’t. I rushed over and shook him, but nothing was working. I could hear sirens approaching and people scattering to leave.

I stayed with Harry until the paramedics came to check on him and told us that they needed to take him to the hospital. I went with him and Zayn and Liam said they’d meet us there with the boys. In the ambulance I could see a bruise forming on his forehead and blood spilling out. I was scared. I needed Harry to be okay. I needed him to wake up and laugh about this, but when we got to the hospital, the doctor said he was suffering from trauma to his frontal lobe of his brain.

As soon as I heard that I cried. Harry needed surgery and all we could do was wait until he woke up to see how he was going to be.

Harry’s POV

It’s been 2 months and I’ve been depressed without her. When she said we couldn’t be friends, I knew that was it. I wouldn’t have her in my life anymore. And she was right. I chose fame over her. She was second to me and I shouldn’t of made her feel like that, ever. But now I was dealing with my consequences. But the lads didn’t like the way I was handling it. I was fighting every chance I got, I’d skip interviews for the group, and I’d just drink. I didn’t like the way I was handling it either, but I was beating myself up over a mistake I made. Of course management was mad at me again because of my actions, but when aren’t they mad at me? I broke up with (Y/N) just to make them happy and look where that got me. Nowhere. I still couldn’t believe I had done it, but I did, and I couldn’t take it back. Worse of all, she wouldn’t talk to me.

“Harry, you’ve got to stop acting like this….she wouldn’t want this.” I looked over to where Louis was. We were at my flat and I had a bottle of Jack in my hand yet again. But I couldn’t help it. It made my mind forget seeing the image of her crying. It was the only thing that numbed the pain. “She didn’t want any of this, but I did it anyways Lou.” “You can’t sit here and do this for the rest of your life. You’re just making it worse. Get some help Harry please. If not for you, for the rest of us. We’re worried about you mate.” I could feel myself start to break down again. All I’d been doing is crying. But only Lou would see it, I was too scared to let the others see me like this. “I just….don’t know what to do anymore. I miss her.” He got up and walked over to me. He took the bottle out of my hand and set it on the table. Then knelt down in front of me and made me face him. “Then do something about it Harry. Fuck management, screw them if they’re not happy. All that matters is that you’re happy mate. And I know by seeing you like this, this isn’t what happy is. You were happy when you were with her. Go get her mate.” I had thought about it before, but then the threat would come back to my mind…..but now I didn’t care. I’d rather have her than fame. I had to go win her back. “Okay, I will.”

Your POV

In the 2 months since I’d last seen Harry, I’d been keeping myself busy to forget. I got more classes, took on a second job and was hardly ever home. It built up a lot of stress for me, but it helped me cope. Anything was better than sitting at home wishing Harry was there. But he wasn’t, and wouldn’t be coming back, so I needed to move on. I was still in love with him, there was no denying that, it was just the fact of removing him from my thoughts. It still hurt, knowing I was his second choice, but it was better I knew about it. 

Niall and the rest of the boys would stay in touch with me, but I rarely responded because they just reminded me of what I had. I needed to get out of London, get away. Which is why I got another job so I could save up. And I finally had the money to go. So I was. Tonight I was leaving..all my stuff was already packed and ready to go. But as I stood in my empty apartment, I couldn’t help but know I’d miss it here. I’d miss even him because he’s what brought me here. Ugh, just another thing I’ll have to forget. I locked the door, gave the key back to my manager and left to the airport. And I just sat there, waiting for my flight to be called.

Harry’s POV

I ran over to (Y/N)’s apartment knowing she had moved. I kept track of her every move to let myself know she was safe. But when I got there and knocked on the door, there was no response. Finally after knocking so loud, one of her neighbors came out. “What are you doing lad?!” I frantically started speaking. “The girl…the girl that lives here, where is she?” “Well she just left, she’s moving.” “Moving, moving where?” “I’m not sure, but she’s already at the airport.” Shit. I took off running to my car. There was only one airport here so I knew I would find her. I just hoped when I did, she’d take me back.

Your POV

My flight was finally being called. I gathered up my carry on and started towards the line to hand in my ticket. I was casually standing there waiting when all of a sudden I could hear someone screaming my name. But not just anyone…...it was Harry. I turned around and saw him fighting with security to get past them. By now everyone was looking at me. But he kept screaming for me. Finally I got out of line and walked over to him. “What are you doing?!” I hissed at him. This was really embarrassing for me. When he finally answered, he was out of breath. “(Y/N),…..please listen to me…….you can’t get on that plane…” Oh really. “And why not?” “Because I love you and I made a terrible mistake. I miss you and need you in my life……so please…..please don’t go.” The security officer could see where this was going and finally let go of Harry and left us alone. But I was too shocked to say anything. Did he really mean it? He wouldn’t of come all the way down here just to make a fool of himself for nothing. He could see the skepticism in my eyes. “(Y/N), believe me when I say this. I regret what I did. You’re right, I chose fame over you. But now I see that I don’t care for it, I don’t want it……,all I want is you in my life, by my side, making me happy. So please, don’t go.” I could feel my heart racing and my tears falling. Was he serious? “Harry Styles you better not be messing around with me.” He got down on his knees and held onto my hands. “I swear to you I’m not.” As I looked into his eyes, I could see his true meaning.

He really did want me back. “But what about your career.” “I don’t care about it, I’m not happy with it every since you left. I need you in my life to make it complete. I’m nothing without you. Please….” I squeezed his hands and pulled him up from the ground. I looked him in the eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay..” His eyes lit up and he smiled. “Are you serious? You’ll stay with me?” “Yes Styles.” “Oh thank you so much!” He picked me up and spun me around, holding me tightly. I hugged him back and nuzzled my head in the crook of his neck. I missed this and I missed the smell of him. I knew I chose the right answer and I knew I wouldn’t regret it. I loved him and nothing was going to keep me from him.

Your POV

I arrived at Niall’s and just fell into his arms. He couldn’t understand a word I was saying because I was crying so much. He picked me up and took me to his room. “(Y/N), calm down and tell me what happened.” He held my head so I was looking at him and breathed with me. I took deep breaths and counted to 10. This always helped me when I cried. But I hadn’t cried like this in so long. “It’s okay babe, just calm down.” He was still holding onto me. My breathing settled and I was finally able to talk. “Harry broke up with me.” Niall’s hands fell to my shoulders and squeezed them. “I’m so sorry (Y/N).”“Management told him to. And he listened this time….am I that bad Niall?” “(Y/N), hell no. You know they’d use any excuse to get him to break up with you. You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t talk like that.” “Then why would he?” “I really don’t know babe. Lay down, get some sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning k.” I nodded my head and got under his covers. He walked out of the room and left me to be alone. But I couldn’t sleep. I just couldn’t figure out Harry and it was pissing me off.

Harry’s POV

As I stared at the bottle of Jack I had in my hand, I couldn’t help but hope what I did was for the right thing. As another shot went down my throat, my doorbell rang. I got up to answer it, thinking it’d be (Y/N), but instead it was Nialler. “Come in.” I sat back down in my chair and drank more. Niall closed the door and slowly walked in and sat on the couch. “Harry…..whatcha doin mate?” I held up the bottle and smiled. “Want some?”“No thanks.” I shrugged and drank more. “Just drinking to rid of some things.” Niall looked down. “Yeahh about that…what happened Harry?” He must’ve heard or else he wouldn’t be over here. “Did (Y/N) tell you?” He just nodded his head. “But I want to hear it from you.” “We broke up.” He had a sarcastic look on his face. “Yeahh I know that, but why.” I stared at the bottle again. “Because I needed to.” “Why? Because management said so? Harry how many time before had they told you and you denied them. Why now? Why do this to not only (Y/N) but to yourself?” He was right, I not only hurt her, but also myself in the process. “It was the right thing to do.” I could see him shaking his head out of the corner of my eyes.

“No Harry. This isn’t you. There’s a broken and crying girl at my house right now because you chose to listen to some people who don’t know you. They don’t know the love you guys have. They don’t know anything about your happiness. They just think this’ll help with fans, but it won’t Harry. True fans will love you no matter who you’re with. (Y/N) didn’t do anything.” “There have been less fans asking me for things since I got with her though.” “Only because they respect your time with her Harry. Did you ever think of that? Maybe they didn’t want to bug you while out with her. Stop blaming other things. Look inside your heart and see that you really didn’t want to do this.” 

I did, but I already made the choice and I had to stick by it. Because I knew if I told management no again, they’d do something horrible to me, and I didn’t want that. It was safer for her to be out of this relationship. “I’m doing this for her Niall.” “No, you’re doing it to make others happy. What about your happiness mate? You love her don’t you? Why can’t you be happy?” He was right…….I had to call management. “You’re right, I’m gonna call management and tell them I can’t do this.” “There you go mate. Come by my house in the morning then.” And he left. I grabbed my phone getting ready to call management but instead they were calling me. I picked up immediately to tell them.“Guys, I…” “Job well done Harry. Fans are rising and more demand for tickets also. I told you this would help.” “But that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, I changed my mind. I’m not going to do this.” They were silent and I thought they hung up, but they finally spoke. “Listen to me Harry Styles, if you get back with her, I will guarantee you fired from the music industry. No more fame, no more One Direction. Now do you want to do that to your bandmates?” “Well no….but…” “But nothing. Keep things the way they are and we’ll have no problems.” I was just stunned. They were threatening me, threatening to take away something I loved to do. But on the other hand, I would lose someone I love…..I didn’t know what to do anymore.

Your POV

The next morning I woke up and Niall was already gone. He left a note saying he had to go to the store and he’d be back. I took a shower and got ready for the day. I was planning on going over to Harry’s to get my things, but when I heard a knock on the door, I didn’t expect to see him there. “Harry?” He looked at me and smiled. “May I come in?” All I could do was nod my head. I was still hurting from the night before, but I didn’t want him to see how broken I was. He walked in and went straight to the living room and sat down. I walked after him and sat down next to him. We sat in silence for some time before he finally spoke. “(Y/N), I just want to tell you, I love you. I really do. But believe me when I say……..I did this for you….” “No you didn’t. We both know that Harry. You did it for yourself. And it’s okay, because I’ve come to realize I will never be someone’s first, I’ll always be second. It’s always been like that, so you’re no different.” “No babe, c’mon. That’s not what I want you to think. You are my first, you are. But we just can’t be together….” I looked down at my hands. I could feel my eyes start to water. All my life, everyone’s shunned me and put me down. Always told me I’d never be good enough for someone, and I was just now realizing they were true.

And it hurt. In the two years I was with Harry, his career always came first. Which I was okay with until now….now it just seemed so rude and mean. And I didn’t want that anymore. “But (Y/N), promise me something.” He made me look back up at him. “Please be my friend, let’s keep some type of relationship.” I could myself start to shake my head.“No Harry…” his face fell, “I can’t be friends with someone I’m in love with…..” He looked hurt, but I couldn’t torture myself with his presence if I can’t have him. “But..” “No Harry, I can’t. If I can’t have you as my boyfriend, I don’t want you as a friend, that’ll make things more complicated for me, and if you really don’t want me, I need to forget about you….” I could see his eyes watering. But he didn’t say anything more. One hand rubbed down his face as he looked at the ground. Without another look, he got up and walked out.

Once again I broke down. He was going to be out of my life for good. But this was for the best…..I hope so.

--

note: this is written by a girl named Ashley :)

Harry’s POV

I walked out of that office infuriated. As I got into my car, I went over everything that had just been discussed. Management told me for the 5th time, to break up with (Y/N). Each time they did this, I got more mad. I never understood why they thought me breaking up with (Y/N) would make anything better. Supposedly being with her was ruining my career, but I didn’t see any of that. They just didn’t want me to be with anyone for the fans’ sakes. I got home and Liam was there. Good, I wanted to talk about this with someone.

“Hey mate, what’s up? Why you look so mad?” I sat down across from him and just started talking. “Management. Again. They want me to break up with (Y/N), and I keep saying no so I don’t know why they keep asking me to.” Liam had already known about all the other times when they asked and he felt the same way I did, I didn’t need to. “It’s doing nothing to your career mate. They just think it’s best for the fans, but don’t listen to them. It’s what you and (Y/N) want. Have you talked to her about this?” “Yeahh, she knows about all the other times, she doesn’t know they just called me in again for this though.” “Harry, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that (Y/N) loves you very much. You guys have made it 2 years, you guys can make it through this.” And with that he left. He was right. We’ve been through some tough shit, but we got through it, together. I wasn’t about to let this get to me.

The next day at work, they called me in again. And told me the same thing. I blew up at them. “I’m not fuckin going to break up with her! What don’t you get?!?” I sat back down and could see them getting irritated. “Harry, we understand. But look at this,” they pulled out the iPad and showed me some pictures of (Y/N), “look at how she acts Harry. You can’t have someone like this ruining your reputation.” I looked at the pictures. There (Y/N) was, dancing with a boy I knew, but in a dirty way. But I knew he was gay, I didn’t care. And the other ones were of her partying with her friends and drinking. How was that bad? In every picture of Eleanor she had a fuckin drink in her hand. How was this any different. “Just listen to us Harry, we know what we’re talking about.” He slid over the iPad to me and I walked out. 

I went home and looked at the rest of the pictures and twitter. A lot of people were saying (Y/N) was a gold digger, she was a slut, she partied too much and that she wasn’t good for me overall. But they weren’t in my position, I didn’t see all that stuff. Sure she partied a lot, but she handled herself well. And most of her guy friends were gay, so I had no problem. But as I sat there and thought about it, I had lost a lot of followers since I started dating her, not a lot of people asked for my autograph anymore, no more pictures……..I now understood what management meant. But could I do this?

Just then (Y/N) walked in from grocery shopping. I looked at her and smiled. “Hey babe.” She came over and kissed my forehead. I loved when she did that, she was the only one ever to do so. “Hey love.” She could see I was stressed so she sat on my lap and hugged me. “What’s wrong Harry Styles?” Should I do this? Could I do this? I pulled her out of my arms and looked at her. “Babe, we need to talk.” She looked unhappy about it, but got off my lap and sat down and the couch in front of me. “Okay. About what?” I looked down at the floor because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to say this to her face to face. “I feel like we should……..break up………take a break…..from us.” 

Your POV

I sat there, wide eyed, heart racing listening to what he was saying. But I didn’t want to believe it. “No. Did management tell you to do this?!” He wouldn’t look at me so I knew it. “Harry, you know you don’t want to do this….” But he still wouldn’t look at me. My heart broke in that instant. 2 whole years spent together, only for him to listen to management and do this? My whole world came crashing down. If he so easily listened to them, then he didn’t really care. “Fine, I’m not going to sit here and fight for something you don’t want.” I got up walk away but he grabbed my arm. “Please (Y/N), you have to understand…” “No I get it Harry. Your fame means more to you than I do. Bye.” I grabbed my purse and walked out. I got in my car and drove as fast as I could to Niall’s. I needed to talk to someone right now because I didn’t deserve this. He just said it as if he didn’t care, and that’s what broke my heart. Harry Styles no longer wanted me in his life, and I never thought I’d say that. 

Harry’s POV

Last night, after I saw how mad Louis was at me, I immediately sobered up. I saw who I was with and got disgusted. Taylor, out of all people. I left her at the club and went home. I sat here thinking about what I had just done. In my confused state, I had remembered what happened between (Y/N) and I. And in that moment, I immediately regretted it. But what I had also realized was that I was in love with this girl, and I had just hurt her badly. That’s why I didn’t go after her. She didn’t deserve what happened and I didn’t deserve her.

She’ll never know how much I care for her because I don’t want her to know..After she left, I just sat on my couch. Looking down at my hands, knowing what just happened. She told me she loves me, and I didn’t respond. She shouldn’t love me after this. But the thing is, I still love her. I just don’t want to hurt her anymore….

Your POV

3 months later..

I moved back to the states. I didn’t want to be near Harry, but being in the states didn’t help any. Everywhere I went I saw his face. News of our breakup had spread, along with the news of Taylor also. I tried to ignore it, but how could I ignore the one person I loved. Fans of both One Direction and Taylor’s would send me hate. They were a constant reminder that Taylor was better than me. Even though I didn’t know if Harry and her were dating, they still compared me to her. The only person I could really cry to was Lou. I felt bad because I felt like I was bugging him, but I needed to vent, I needed to cry to someone. I thought I could get over him, but it was just so hard.

Harry’s POV

I was sitting in my living room when Lou burst through my door. It scared the crap out of me and I jumped. But by the look on his face, he’d meant to scare me.“Lou….what’s wrong?” He was pacing back and forth in front of me. I don’t think I had ever seen him so mad. He stopped abruptly in front me and stared at me. “Listen to me Harry Styles cuz I’m only going to say this once. Do you know what it feels like to have a good friend of yours call you crying because of the hate she’s getting? Crying because she doesn’t know what to do with herself? Crying because she’s constantly compared to Taylor because of what you did? No, you don’t! And you never bothered to call and let her know the truth. You never called to tell her that you love her because you’re a selfish bastard..That night she left, you what happened. I told her to go over and talk to you because she was sitting there comparing herself to Taylor when she shouldn’t have. I was the one who had to tell her she was nothing compared to that girl, and I’m not even her boyfriend! You need to do something Harry, give her some closure or something. But fix this!” He was talking so fast that I could barely keep up, but I knew who he was talking about….After I heard (Y/N) had moved, I expressed to Lou how I had felt. He told me to call and tell her, but I was too scared. But I didn’t know about the hate. I never truly let her know how beautiful she was, and me not telling her made it worse. I couldn’t let her keep thinking Taylor was better than her. I could hear Lou talking again but wasn’t really listening. “Are you hearing me Styles!?” I looked up at him. “Where is she?” “She’s in California.” I got up and started to gather some of my things. “Book me a ticket out there as fast as you can.” Lou’s face turned to pure happiness when I said that. He cared for (Y/N), but as a friend, I knew that. He walked off and I went upstairs to grab a suitcase. 

Your POV

I was sitting at home watching Pitch Perfect so I could laugh. I heard the doorbell ring and I jumped up to watch it. I skipped to the door because I was feeling good. But when I opened the door to see Harry, my smile fell. He looked so serious and that scared me. “Um….Harry?” “Hey (Y/N), how are you?” I looked around outside to see if this was just some prank, but none of the other boys were with him. “Um, I’m fine. How are you?” “Mind if I come in?” All I could do was nod my head. He walked in and looked around. I hadn’t decorated much and the place looked lonely, I was wondering if he was getting that vibe. I walked over and paused the tv. He sat down and looked up at me. “Can we talk?” My heart started racing. Feelings were coming back that I didn’t want to experience. But I couldn’t stop it. “Suree….”I sat down and waited. He gave a nervous laugh and then began. “(Y/N), um, the way we left things…….it wasn’t right….that night after you left…I realized something.” All I could do was look at him. I didn’t know where he was going with this. He looked me in the eyes. “I realized……that I love you…..” My eyes widened at that. But he continued. “But….I didn’t tell you that, because I knew I had hurt you. And that I didn’t deserve your love after that. That’s why I let you walk out…….but (Y/N) I regret it. I know what I did was very ignorant.” There was a huge lump forming in my throat. I couldn’t speak to him. I was just in shock. Harry loves me….or loved me….I didn’t know anymore. “And, all the comparisons you’re getting. Babe, I’ve never told you this, but you’re everything to me. Still are. You’re the most genuine person I know. Your beauty comes from within and it shines. That’s what drew me to you. You have the softest eyes, a contagious smile, a respectable personality anyone would want in their life. That is why I love you. Your beauty is something that should never be compared. You are one of a kind, you’re my one of a kind. And I don’t want you to think you’re inferior to anyone. Because you’re not. And I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel like that or let you know, but I’m telling you this now, because I love you babe.” By now tears were falling down. He’s right, he never expressed that to me, but I was glad he was now. It made me feel better about myself. No one could make me feel like that, only Harry Styles could. And I still loved him….”Say something (Y/N)….” He was back to being nervous again. I was getting choked up. But I managed a few words. “I love you Harry.” He released a huge sigh and came over to me. He picked me up and put my in his lap and put my head on his chest and held me, tightly. It felt good to be in his arms again. “I’m so sorry (Y/N)..” I lifted my head and looked at him. My only answer was a kiss. A kiss that was slow and passionate to show him I had forgiven him. “Thank you….I don’t deserve this…but thank you.” “No, thank you Harry.”

Lou’s POV
After I saw (Y/N) run out of the club, I went back to see what had made her cry. Harry was there, dancing with Taylor, obviously drunk. He probably didn’t even realize what he was doing, or what he just did. This made me mad though, here (Y/N) was comparing herself to Taylor and he just proved himself to her. I walked over to Harry and pulled him away from her. “What the hell man?!” His eyes were barely open and I doubt he knew it was me. “what….” “Do you not realize what you just did?” He still had a confused look on his face. Fuck this. I let go of him and ran after (Y/N).

Your POV
I didn’t live with Harry so I had no reason to go to his house. I just hailed a cab to mine. I cried the whole way, not believing what just happened. ‘He’s drunk, he’ll apologize in the morning’. But still, it hurt. It hurt knowing he’d choose her over me……this made me cry even more. Good thing I never told him how I feel about him. Because this would hurt even more. I paid the taxi and ran into my house. But I just sat in the darkness. I didn’t want any lights on, because if I turned them on, I’d see his picture on my wall. Instead, I laid my head down on the couch and just cried. I hadn’t realized I left my door open until I felt someone wrap their arms around me. I opened my eyes to see Louis there. “Lou…what are you doing here?”“You didn’t deserve what happened, and it was partly my fault. I’m sorry (Y/N).” I sat up and laid my head on his shoulder. “Lou it’s not your fault. It was his decision, not ours.” “But (Y/N), you know he’ll just forget about this in the morning….” “I know, but its just…..he still chose her over me you know…how can I let that go?” “I know…but babe..” he grabbed my face and made me look at him. “Believe me when I say this, and anyone will tell you the same, you are so much better than Taylor. You’re a better person, a better girlfriend, a better girl overall compared to that girl. You are you. You are the girl Harry fell for. And you fell for him. You have to know your feelings will overpower you and get you through this.” He made a point, but I just couldn’t get past it. “But Lou……I love him…..but I don’t think he feels the same…” “You don’t know that. The side of Harry you saw tonight was not him and you know that. You need to talk this out with him, and if you find out in the end that he doesn’t feel the same, then you know for yourself. But either way, the lads and I will be here for you. You can always count on us.” I smiled at that. I did need to talk to Harry, I just didn’t know how to bring it up..”Lou…will you stay with me tonight? I think I’ll need your encouragement in the morning again…” “Sure babe.” I laid my head down in his lap and fell asleep knowing I was protected in that moment.
But when dawn came, I felt my sadness again. Lou was already up making me breakfast. I needed to shower before I went over to Harry’s because I knew I looked like shit. So I did, and then ate with Lou. “Remember, just be straightforward with him, don’t sugarcoat anything. Tell him how you feel, about last night, whatever, just express it (Y/N). He needs to know.” I nodded my head and was mentally preparing myself. After I ate he dropped me off at Harry’s. “I’ll be right here waiting ok.” It made me feel better Lou was going to be here if I needed him, especially if I came out crying. I walked up to Harry’s door and knocked. I didn’t know if he’d be awake, he probably had a hangover. This was going to be hard. I could hear footsteps a few moments later then his lock unlatching. He opened the door and surprisingly looked okay. “Hey….can I come in?” “Sure.” He let me through and I just stood there awkwardly. “Harry, we need to talk.”“Okay…” He pointed to the living room and we sat. Why was this boy not hungover? I positioned myself so I was facing him, but also facing the door incase I needed to run. I was nervous as hell, but I knew I needed to do this. “Harry….um, do you remember anything from last night?” He looked down at his hands. “Bits and pieces.” He never looked at me. “Do you remember what you said to me?” He finally looked at me and nodded his head. In that moment my heart broke a little more. “And you didn’t bother to come after me?” “Look (Y/N)……” “You don’t care do you?” My heart was racing as I waited for him to answer. His eyes never left mine and I did not see any guilt in his eyes. And when he didn’t answer, I knew his answer….he didn’t. My heart broke completely, into pieces, in Harry’s presence. 4 months of my time wasted….for what? To be the rebound girl? “I loved you Harry Styles…..” My voice broke when I said that. But I had to let him know, because I knew in this instance, I would not be seeing him again. He looked down and never looked back up. My tears were just falling and this boy had nothing to say for himself. I couldn’t stand to even look at him anymore. I got up and just walked out. Walked out of his life, walked out leaving my heart shattered at his feet. He didn’t care, and that’s what hurt the most.
I ran out to Lou’s car and just told him to go. “What happened (Y/N)?” I looked at him, my vision blurry from the tears. “He never cared Lou…” And saying that out loud I broke down even more. I started sobbing and couldn’t breath. “Hold on babe, just hold on.” He was driving as fast as he could and took me to his house. He carried me inside and laid me down on the couch. I curled up on my side and tried to calm my breathing. But the tears just kept coming. I fell for the one guy I thought was different. I didn’t want to believe the tabloids. I didn’t want to believe that Harry was a womanizer, but he just proved them right. But why did I have to be the girl he used?

Your POV

Rumors were circulating that Harry and Taylor had just broken up. I was so happy when I heard that that I screamed. He did not need to be with her. And I’m sure everyone agreed with me. 4 days after that, I met Harry Styles. He walked right up to me and expressed to me that he thought I was beautiful and asked me on a date. I was taken back by that but accepted.

That was 4 months ago. And Harry and I had been together ever since. I never thought him coming up to me that day would lead to this. I thought we’d just go out once and he’d never call again, but he did. And he kept coming back, and now I knew he was a keeper. He was the greatest boyfriend to have. Sweet, caring, and just overall fun. He kept my life entertaining and happy. I was really falling for this boy. But I never really expressed it to him. I didn’t want to scare him off. Plus it’s been only 4 months since his breakup with Taylor, I wanted to make sure things were for sure between us before confessing my love. I never heard of him talking to her again but then again I didn’t ask him. I’m sure if I had asked, he would say. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Tonight him and I were going to be going out the club with all the boys and their girls. Whenever I was with them I felt at home because they made me feel welcome. I loved them dearly and had close relationships with each of them. We were out in New York for the weekend and wanted to see as many people as we could, and what better place to do that than a club. We all got ready and hopped into Liam’s car. It was exciting to just have a night to relax. I was ready for a night of drinking, dancing, and living it up.

Harry was always fun to party with and so was Nialler. All of them actually, it was just good to see them let loose. We arrived at the club and was immediately let in. There were a lot of people here but we got a VIP table for us. Right away we ordered drinks and started drinking. I loved the music they were playing so I pulled Harry up and brought him out to the dance floor. He was mildly tipsy right about now, but he was still a good dancer. Then Liam and Danielle joined us, then the rest of the boys. Harry and I ran out of drinks so I figured I’d go grab us more. Louis offered to go with me since Harry noticed a friend and started talking to him. 

To be honest i was still getting use to his lifestyle. He knew so many people I couldn’t keep up but I just wanted to let him know I’m here for him when needed. He hardly ever complained about anything but when the hate got rough, he came to me, and I was glad. Louis and I grabbed more drinks and shots and passed them out. Niall was already getting drunk and dancing around and Harry was close. It took a lot for me to get drunk so I just stood back and watched. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom babe.” I whispered in Harry’s ear. “okay.” He just continued dancing. I went to the bathroom and freshened up. I never had much confidence in my body because I was nowhere near skinny, but that day Harry told me I was beautiful helped me a little, but you know there’s still that doubt. 

I finished up and started walking back towards Harry. But as I got closer I noticed him talking to a girl. I couldn’t make out who it was, but as I got closer, I noticed who it was. It was Taylor. Why was he talking to her? I didn’t want to seem like the jealous girlfriend, but I mean come on, that’s his ex. I sort of just hung back and went to the bar. I kept watching them though. They were laughing and talking. I did not like this, but I didn’t have the courage to go over there. Just then I felt someone sit next to me. “What are you doing (Y/N)?” I turned to see Louis sitting there. He followed my eye direction and saw Taylor. He shook his head and looked at me. “(Y/N), you know it means nothing right.” “Then why do I feel so jealous Lou?” To be honest, Taylor looked amazing. And I wondered if Harry had noticed that as well. “It’s understandable, she’s his ex. Who wouldn’t be jealous.”“Look at though Lou. She’s beyond beautiful, skinny, blonde, rich, perfect. And here I am, just ugh….” I was starting to feel low. “(Y/N), Harry chose you for a reason. He likes you, not her. Don’t think like that. Now are you just going to sit here and watch, or are you gonna go over there and get your man back?” I looked at him for encouragement. “Go.” He gave me a slight push and I smiled at him. I slowly started walking over to where they were. As I got closer they were whispering in each other’s ears. Ugh….”Babe.” I patted his shoulder and he turned to look at me. I could see in his eyes he was drunk, and Taylor just gave me a dirty look. “I’m ready to go.” “Um………I’m not, so you go and ima stay here.” What?“But Harry….” “Just go, I’m gonna hang with her.” He pointed to Taylor. She gave me an evil smile. I pulled Harry away from her so I could talk to him. “Harry you can’t be serious.” “What’s wrong with being with her?” “Um hello, she’s your ex.”“So? Doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with her.” I was just stunned. “Babe….”“(Y/N), just go home! I can stay here and be with whoever I want, and if you don’t like that, then I really dont care. Get going then.” And with that he walked off. Tears started falling down and I couldn’t stand to see him with her. He went back as if nothing had just happened. I rushed out of the club crying. Louis saw me and tried stopping me but I just wanted to get away. I couldn’t believe Harry was doing this to me. But I guess this just proved our relationship. He didn’t really care. So I was leaving.

Your POV
After Harry left I was a mess. I was crying, angry, sad, and then relieved at the same time. I did not know what to do with myself. It was like I was on a rollercoaster. It took me about 6 hours before I actually realized what had happened…..Harry and I broke up…..over me being on my period?? Wtf. But if it had really affected him he would’ve came back and talked to me. Then again, I’d just be yelling at him the whole time. But I still couldn’t get over what he had said. Why would he second guess being with me? He must’ve thought about this before then. That hurt….
For the next 3 days, I layed in bed, crying, eating, crying, eating. It was horrible. I was heartbroken and didn’t know how to handle myself. I wanted him back, I missed him. But I didn’t want to be the one to go running back to him. I wanted him to think I didn’t need him…..but deep down I know I did. No matter what he says, I still love him. I guess I just needed to learn to be nicer while on my monthly. Ugh…I didn’t want to call him but…
Just then I heard a knock on my door. When I didn’t get up to answer it I heard more knocking, this time with yelling. “(Y/N)! I know you’re in there!” It was Harry. Should I get up? I guess I should. I dragged myself from bed and went to answer the door. I opened it without even looking at myself in the mirror, so the reaction on Harry’s face showed just how horrible I looked. “Jeez, what’d you do, lay in bed for the past few days?” I just looked at him and turned around. He followed me back into my bedroom. I got back in and under the covers. “Well, I can see you’ve been enjoying yourself.” He picked up one of the many ice cream cartons and threw it in the trash. Then as he went to sit on the bed, he shoved all my tissues aside to make room. “I guess you can say that. What do you want Harry?” This time he looked at me seriously. “We need to talk.” “Sure you wanna do that?” “Yes, because I need to explain things to you.” “Ok fine. This better be good.” I sat there and waited for him to begin. He took a deep breath and began, “(Y/N) I’m sorry for what I said. I know now I shouldn’t of said that because after I left I was hurt also. I mean you broke up with me and I didn’t know how to react. It was just surprising over something like this. But now looking back, I understand why you did it. You deserve to be treated like a princess while you’re going through this. I guess I just need to get on schedule with you and be prepared. And (Y/N) believe me when I say that I do still want to be with you, those words just slipped out of my mouth and I did not mean them at all. I was just frustrated. I wanted to spend time with you and I took it harshly when you said no. I should’ve let you explain first and I’m sorry about that.” I looked at him and wanted to laugh. I don’t know why, but my emotions were all over the place. But I knew deep down Harry meant it. Princess? Shoot he better. “Harry it’s not just all you, I need to change how I act too. I’m sorry for being so moody, I just can’t control it. But I promise I will try and go out with you more while I’m on this. And I’ll only be treated like a princess if you’ll be my prince charming..” I smiled at him and he looked adorable after I said that. His face lit up and he hugged me. “Of course babe. And on that note…” He walked out of the room and then came back with bags. “I brought chocolates!” “Harry Styles, you’re the best.” He sat down and started handing me the candy and he ate with me. “Only for you babe. I love you.” “I love you too Syles.”

Your POV
You ever had that day or week where you just wanted to sit and do nothing? Well that’s how I was right now. I hate being on my period and worse of all, Harry never knew how to handle me while I was on it. He would try to avoid me as much as possible and I didn’t blame him. I didn’t want to fight with him or say something stupid and make him mad. Cuz as it was, I was already mad. So I’d just stay in my room all day sometimes to cope with the pain. He’d just go out with the boys and have fun. Sometimes I got jealous because he wouldn’t even bother to ask me if I wanted to go, but then again I knew I wouldn’t go anyways. But after it’s done, he comes back to me and treats me the same. Being together for only a year, I think he still has to get use to me on my monthly. But I know that when I did cry, he was there for me and would comfort me. But today just wasn’t his day I guess.
I was sitting in my room in my pajamas and I think it was like 3pm. I didn’t care, I was on my period. I didn’t want to do shit, and it was the first day, so I was cramping like hell. But Harry of course didn’t know I had started because he was gone the night before. He came into the room and jumped on the bed. “(Y/N) why are you still in bed? It’s late afternoon, get up!” He was excited for something, but all I could think about was the pain I was going through. “Harry, no I’m not feeling good babe.” His face kind of fell. “So you’re just going to sit in bed all day?? I wanted you to go to dinner with me and the boys tonight. Can you please get up and get ready?” “That’s great babe and I really want to go but….” He cut me off before I could finish explaining to him and just started being mean. He wasn’t yelling but he was still mean. “Why do you do this? Why can’t you ever go anywhere with me?” “Harry I’m on…” “No, you’re fuckin boring (Y/N), I don’t know why I’m with you. I’ll just go with the boys by myself like I’ve been doing since my girlfriend doesn’t want to do shit.” I could feel my heart start racing and my face turn red. Harry has never said anything like that to me and it hurt. I was sitting here trying to explain to him why I was in bed and he just said he doesn’t know why he’s with me? Fuck that. I jumped up and caught his arm as he was trying to leave. “Harry Styles! You’re a freakin asshole! You won’t even let me finish explaining why I’m in bed! But no, you don’t want to listen. So you know what fine! If you don’t know why you’re with me and I’m boring………get the hell out of my house and don’t ever come back. And I mean it Styles, stay the fuck away from me.” I was letting everything out because I was infuriated. He had no excuse to say those words to me and I didn’t deserve it. His face was just in shock. But he didn’t say anything, he walked towards the door and I followed him. He opened the door and walked out. As he was walking down the sidewalk, I yelled at him. “And for your information, I’M ON MY PERIOD YOU ASS!!” And I slammed the door hard to show him how pissed I was. I hope he learned his lesson not to mess with me on days like this.

Harry’s POV
As she said those words, it dawned on me why she was so mad. What the hell did I do? I should’ve known when I walked in and she was still in bed. I’ve been with her for a year and I still wasn’t use to this. But damn, she pissed me off sometimes, never wanting to go anywhere with me. But I was just a guy, I didn’t understand. I should’ve tried to understand but things just go out of hand. Now I was walking back towards my house, with a guilt feeling in the pit of my stomach. Had we just really broken up? Over that? Sure I said something stupid, but did she really need to do that? I know, I sound like an ass, but maybe she’s right, maybe I am an ass. But that didn’t change the way I felt about her. She really broke up with me……I couldn’t wrap my head around that, but I knew I had to fix it. I went out to dinner with the boys as planned, but they knew something was up as soon as I sat down. I was still thinking about what had happened with (Y/N) and I was mad. “What’s wrong mate?” Liam asked. I just shook my head and stared at my menu. They all just sat there and looked at me, waiting for me to answer. I finally gave in and answered. “(Y/N) broke up with me….” “What? Why?” “I um….I said some things…” “Like what Harry? She’s a nice girl, you must’ve said something bad.”“Thanks captain obvious. Yes I did. I told her she was boring and that I didn’t know why I was with her…but I didn’t mean for that to slip out, so then she told me to get out and stay away.” “Well…don’t you feel stupid now. You need to fix it Harry. You know that girl loves you.” I just nodded my head. I knew she loved me and I loved her, we should be able to make it through this, but the look in her eyes told me she was very mad at me. “I don’t know….I have to give her time I guess, and then I’ll try.” “Why not go tomorrow, what the hell are you waiting for?” I didn’t want to say it, but oh well. “She’s on her monthly, so whatever I say she’ll be mad at.” They all cringed and I tried not to laugh. “Okay, TMI. Now we know. Let’s move past this.” “Thank you.” They all dropped it and we ate. But I was still thinking about what I was going to say to her. What do you say to a girl after you basically told them they were boring to you? I didn’t know, but I had to think of something soon.