6 months later

Your POV:
I loved living in this place. No one bothered us, there were hardly any paps, and most of all: it was peaceful. I know I’ve said this many time before, but it truly was. I’d go outside just to breathe because I knew it would clear my mind. 6 months past and I still hadn’t seen or talked to Lou. I didn’t hear anything more about him and Perrie, but then again I avoided anything that had to do with him. I can finally say that after 6 months, I was over him. And I was glad. My life was finally falling back into place. I found a job waitressing at a cafe, I enrolled in college, and I was living. Since then, Lou left One Direction. It was just Zayn, Harry, Niall and Liam left. They still toured and made music and I was glad they were still going strong. But you could see it hurt them not having him. I would ask Zayn how he was dealing and he wouldn’t want to confess, so I’d just leave him. But finally one day I got him to.
“So what’s been on your mind? You’ve been kind of distant lately.” He looked down and started playing with his hands. “Um, Perrie contacted me….” My eyes lit up. I was happy but then again worried. Why would she? “And?” “And she asked me to come back.” I was stunned. I was happy that she came to her senses, but I knew Zayn was torn over his feelings. “What’d you say?” He sighed. “I just said I didn’t know how I felt about her and I needed time to think.” “Did she sound genuine?” “I mean, yeahh I guess. I wasn’t really paying attention. I was just trying to process what was happening.” He finally looked up and met my eyes. “What should I do?” “Well Zayn how do you feel about her?” “Well we were together for 2 years, of course I still love her…..I just don’t know if she deserves a second chance. I mean hell, she basically chose my friend over me. That crushed me. I tried getting over her but I couldn’t. No matter what I do, I just can’t. But I just don’t know if I should go back. What if she does this again?” He truly was torn. I could see the love he had for in his eyes. He still loved her and you could not fight true love. “Zayn, Perrie messed up. But she’s realized that now and knows that you’re the one for her. You guys truly love each other, and true love always finds a way to live. I can see it in your eyes you want her back. You’re never going to truly know until you give her that chance. Because if you don’t, you’re going to sit here and wonder ‘what if’. And I don’t want you beating yourself up over that. Go to her Zayn. Get your happiness back.” He took what I said into consideration and nodded his head. Then he whispered, “What about you though?” I didn’t know exactly what he meant. “What do you mean?” “I mean if I go back, you’re going to be here alone. What are you going to do?” I smiled at his worry. “Zayn, I’ll be fine. I’ve got my job and school. I have enough things to keep me busy. Go. Be with the girl you love and be with the boys fully. I know they miss you.” “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” “Yes Zayn, don’t worry bro.” He finally smiled and relaxed. “Now go pack and surprise that girl.” “I will, thanks (Y/N).” He kissed my forehead and left. I was happy for him. I hated seeing him sad. Over the months, I found it in me to forgive Perrie for what she did. And surprisingly, I forgave Louis too. I didn’t want to dwell on something that happened in the past, so I let it go. And I felt better.
The next day Zayn had all his things packed into the car and was ready to go. “You won’t have a car (Y/N). I can take a taxi.” “No, really Zayn I’m fine. I can walk wherever I need to go. Just go.” I smiled at him to reassure him. “Ok, bye sis.” “Bye bro.” We hugged and he left. I stood there and watched as the car left my sight. To be honest, I was sad he was leaving, but he needed his happiness. He promised he’d keep in touch and I knew he would.

6 more months later

Zayn and Perrie were happily back together and I was happy for them. Everywhere I went, I’d see pictures of them in magazines saying how happy they were to be back together. I’d smile and move on with my things. I still worked, I still went to school, and I still lived in the house we had bought. It was big for just me, but I liked it. Zayn paid for me to keep it and I was grateful for that. Him and the boys would come up any chance they had and visit with me. One time Perrie even came. It was sort of awkward, but I hugged her to let her know I forgave her. She cried and I cried, but we moved on after that. It was refreshing to know we were ok. And once she tried to talk to me about Louis, but I just quickly changed the subject, not wanting to hear about it. She understood and would talk about something else.
Right now the boys were on the world tour. In the magazines I noticed that Lou was now back with the group and I was happy for that. They weren’t One Direction without him. They invited me to their show in London, but I had no time to go. I told them I was sorry and they said they’d come up when they were done. So I was happy for that.
One day I was at work and we were so busy I hardly saw the people I was taking the order from, but when I heard one voice, I knew instantly who it was. “I’ll just have tea love.” My hand froze as I was about to write down his order. I hadn’t heard that voice in a year but I knew it was Louis before even looking up. When I saw him I just didn’t know what to say. He was just staring at me waiting for me to say something. “Um….uh….ok.” I left before he could say anything. I told one of my coworkers to take over my side so I could avoid him. I kept myself busy with whatever I could do to not go over by his table. Sure I was over him, but that didn’t mean I was ready to see him again…..I didn’t notice he had left until my co worker came over with a piece of paper in her hand. “He said to give this to you.” She handed it to me and left. I looked down to see his writing on his recept. ‘(Y/N), please call me when you have the chance. -Louis xx’ I stuffed it in my pocket and just kept moving.
When I got home later I was cleaning out my pockets and found the paper. I sat down and just looked at it. Should I call him? I sat there and asked myself that a million times. I finally decided to call him and get it over with. “(Y/N)?” He answered on the first ring. “Hi Louis.” My voice was shaky but I continued. “You said to call so I called.” “I noticed. Um I was going to ask you if I could meet you somewhere so we can talk. If that’s alright with you.” I thought about this. But just decided I didn’t want to go anywhere. “You can come to my house.” “Ok cool.” I gave him my address and hung up. I text Zayn to see where they were and he said he was still in London. What the hell? Then I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and saw Louis for the second time today. I stepped aside so he could come in and closed the door. He looked around and then just sat down on the couch. He patted the seat next to him and motioned for me to do the same. I awkwardly sat next to him and face him. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.” I just nodded my head. “Well I know it’s been like a year since I’ve talked to you, but I just figured now was a better time.” I didn’t know what he meant by that but he continued. “(Y/N) I just wanted to come here to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to you and I’m sorry for anything else I’ve done to you. You have to believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you. I loved you too.” My eyes watered at that. He had loved me… “And I know words cannot expressed my feelings right now, but I just had to see you and let you know. After I saw Perrie and Zayn back together, I was happy to see that. I guess I was kinda hoping we could be like that too, but there’s probably not a chance huh?” I realized what he was asking and instantly knew my answer. “No Lou, there isn’t. And I appreciate what you’re saying, but I’ve got my life here now and I’m happy. I truly am. I moved on, I think it’s time you do that same.” He looked down and nodded. “I forgive you Louis, it’s time you forgive yourself and live your life. I’m fine here and I like it here. Find someone who will make you happy again. But this time, make sure you let her know how you feel and don’t let her down ok?” He gave a little smile at that. Then looked back at me. “Thank you…..for forgiving me. You’re stronger than I ever will be. And I will, I promise. I won’t make the same mistake twice.” He got up to leave and I walked him to the door. “Can I have one last hug?” “Sure.” He hugged me and we just stood there for awhile like that. It was just like old times, but things were different now. “Bye Louis.” When he pulled back his eyes were watery. “Bye (Y/N).” Then he left. I let out a big sigh after that. It was finally over, we finally faced each other again. And I couldn’t help but feel so much better. I did want to see him happy, it just wasn’t with me.
Over the next few weeks the boys all came up and spent the night. And they would do this every weekend after the tour was done. Slowly, Louis would come too. And I welcomed him. We maintained a friendship and still spoke to each other. He had finally found another girl, Eleanor was her name, and I could see how happy he was with her. So I was grateful for that. And after that, everything was just fine. I lived my life and he lived his, happily.

Your POV:
“What do you mean? Louis didn’t tell you?” They just looked at each other. I looked at Zayn and he nodded his head, giving me the okay to tell them. “How bout we go back to our room and we’ll talk.” They nodded their heads and got into our separate cars and went back to our place. Once we got there, I closed and locked the door, looking out the window, expecting Louis to appear at any minute. “Where’s Louis?” “We made him stay home. Now can one of you tell us what’s going on?” Liam said impatiently. I didn’t want to tell them, so I just looked at Zayn. He put his head down, but I knew he was going to tell. “The reason we’ve been gone, is because we don’t want to see Lou and Perrie.” “Why, what happened that’s so bad you guys had to leave?” Niall asked. “Do you guys know how long we’ve been up? Just hoping for a glimpse of you guys anywhere.” Harry sad mad. “Look, we’re sorry, but we needed this. The night after you guys left from my house….(Y/N) and I went out to the movies because I’ve been feeling down…..when we came back though…….we saw Lou and Perrie in bed together…..naked.” I looked to see their reactions. They just sat there, not saying a word. They looked as shocked as we did the first time we found out. But now they knew the truth. “Louis didn’t tell you?” “Ahh, no…….he just said that you both went missing….so we’ve been helping to find you guys. I swear, we didn’t know…” “Yeah, or else we would’ve understood why you guys were gone and hadn’t come.” “We just needed to be gone a while, we didn’t want to see them.” “But Perrie and Louis?? What the hell man?” “I know, we’re as shocked as you guys.” “Zayn….(Y/N)….We’re sorry to hear that……” I just looked at Zayn. The pain was slowly coming back even more just talking about it. And I could tell it was the same for Zayn. “You guys, you have to come back though…” “We know, just not yet..” “Well when then? We just want you guys back..” “You guys found us, you know we’re safe, we don’t know when.” They looked hurt by that, but we didn’t want to go back now. “Ok, well is there anything we can do?” Zayn just shrugged his shoulders. “Not much guys, we’ve just been trying to forget about it and be happy wherever we go. I mean, you guys are welcome to stay, we just don’t know when we’re leaving.” Liam looked at the boys to ask what they wanted to do. “We’ll stay with you guys.” I smiled at that, they were truly brothers to each other. And mine too. “Ok, well, now that that’s over, let’s go out, shall we?” And that’s the last we spoke of Louis and Perrie.
They stayed with us for another week, then we finally decided to head back. Zayn and I rode together, while the others went in their car. “How do you feel about going back now?” “It’s now or never I guess.” He was right. It had to happen anyways. Knowing that the boys were on our side made me feel a little better now. Louis and Perrie didn’t deserve kindness towards them, but I didn’t hate them. I was just going to speak my mind and then leave. I didn’t know how Zayn was going to handle it, but I really hoped him and Perrie worked it out. But if they didn’t, I’m here for him and he knows that. While we were up there, we spoke of possibly moving up there if things didn’t work out. If Zayn didn’t take Perrie back, we’d go back together, because as of right now, I knew I wasn’t giving Louis a second chance.
After 10 hours of driving, we finally made it back to London. Zayn dropped me off first, then left. We told the boys we’d call them if we needed them. I dreaded going back inside Louis’ flat, but all of my stuff was here. I needed to get them. I slowly started up the steps, but before I could even reach the porch, Louis swung the door open and met me. “(Y/N)!?!” He ran out and hugged me. But in no way did I return it. I just stood there and let him hug me and he started crying. But oddly enough, it didn’t affect me. He finally let go and then just looked at me, but I didn’t make eye contact, I just walked past him into the flat. but he trailed after me. I walked up to our room and grabbed a bag and started packing my things. “(Y/N) what are you doing? Where are you going? Just please talk to me.” I was planning on talking to him, but after everything was packed. So I packed my clothes, shoes, jewelry, accessories, everything and ignored him. He was in tears, but I didn’t care. After everything was packed, I walked everything downstairs and put them by the door. Finally I turned and faced him. His eyes were red, his face hollow due to weight loss, and his hair was everywhere. He was a mess, but deep down, was he really a mess? “What Louis? What do you want to say to me?” “(Y/N), I never meant to hurt you. You know me.” “I obviously didn’t Lou for you to cheat on me. AND WITH PERRIE?!?! What the hell were you thinking?! That is your best friend’s girlfriend! And I’m your girlfriend! If you had no feelings for me then why didn’t you just tell me like a man!” “No (Y/N), of course I had feelings for you. I just…..I don’t know what happened! I thought I needed her, I thought I was attracted to her. But I’m not. I’m not, you have to believe me when I say I don’t want her! I want only you (Y/N), just you.” “Well Louis, I guess you should’ve thought of that before you went behind my back. Because let me tell you something. I loved you Louis! I loved you, and I was going to tell you that night, but then Zayn and I get back to see that?! Do you think I deserved that? Hell no! And you know why, because I’ve been nothing but truthful to you! I have never done anything to hurt you but you hurt me for no reason. So you know what Louis, I want you to hurt now. I want you to watch the girl who loved you, walk out of your life because you ruined it. This is your doing. Blame yourself and Perrie for this. Zayn sure as hell didn’t deserve this neither. Nothing will work Louis, nothing you say will change my mind, because seeing you guys together like that, it told me what kind of a man you are. You’re a liar, a cheater, and unfaithful. You don’t deserve me, I deserve someone who will appreciate me, not just hurt me. So goodbye Louis, I hope you have a nice life.” “(Y/N) no….no don’t go….please! Just stay! We can work this out!!!” That’s all I heard as I walked out of the door. I went to my car and put my things in. He kept trying to pull my hand, but I’d just yank it out of his grip. As soon as I got in the car, I pulled out as fast as I could. He was left in the driveway on the ground, crying….Louis….but I’m not sorry. Just then Zayn called me. “Come pick me up.” I went right over and he jumped in my car with bags and everything. “What happened Zayn?” “Oh nothing, she just basically told me she wants Louis over me. Fucking bitch, I should’ve known. I would’ve taken her back too, but no…this had to happen.” I was heartbroken for him. “Zayn….I’m sorry.” “It’s whatever. How’d yours go?” “Well he said he didn’t want Perrie, but I left him anyways. I have my bags too.” “Good, lets go to Liam’s for the night. Tomorrow we’ll go back ok?” He remembered our promise to go back to Inverness. I smiled at him and said ok.

Lou’s POV:
She walked out….she really left…..and I had no feelings whatsoever. I didn’t know what to do now. Do I go after her? Or do I just let her go? She’s right, she didn’t deserve what happened. I don’t deserve her love. Even though I never got the chance to tell her, I loved her too. But that didn’t matter now..she’s gone for good..

A few days later..
Perrie was over. She told me what happened with Zayn. “You told him what?!” “I said I wanted you Lou. After seeing Zayn again, I realized it was you I wanted, not him……I just said what I was feeling..” I couldn’t believe she had said that. I had no clue she’d do that. This just made everything worse. “What’d Zayn do?” “He threw some things….yelled…and then packed his things and left.” He must’ve left with (Y/N), I had no clue where they were, but I know they left. The boys wouldn’t tell me anything. They wouldn’t even look at Perrie and I. I sat down, just frustrated with everything. Perrie started rubbing my back. “Lou……I meant it when I said I wanted you……we can make this work….we can get through this….” I wanted (Y/N), but she didn’t want me..Perried wanted me….but I didn’t want her. But (Y/N) deserved someone better, and I deserved less…and I guess Perrie was that less…

Your POV:
It’s been about a month since Zayn and I left. We found a house in Inverness and bought it. We moved everything in, with the help of Liam, Harry and Niall. They were glad to be helping, mostly because they knew where we were. They knew what happened and didn’t agree with us, but they accepted it. They all wanted us to stay with them, but we said no. We needed to be alone once again. But every weekend the boys would come up and visit us and spend the night. We had fun together, never mentioning their names. They told us what was going on with them, we’d laugh, and that was it. I was slowly getting over Louis and I could tell Zayn was still struggling a little, but he smiled through it. But the day I knew I was completely through with Lou was when I saw him and Perrie in a magazine. They were front cover, holding hands, walking around London. How dare them…..Zayn saw this and just looked away. Even after everything, they still chose to be together, I couldn’t believe this. All my love left me in that instant. And I knew what little respect Zayn had for Perrie was now gone. “I guess we’re in this together.” “I guess so.” I tried smiling at him but he just nodded. Looking at Zayn, I knew we didn’t need Lou or Perrie. They chose their paths, and now me and Zayn had a chance to choose ours. And we were going to live our lives the way we wanted to, without them.

Lou’s POV:
It’s been 3 weeks and I haven’t heard a word about (Y/N) and Zayn. I was really starting to get worried. I called all the other boys and told them they were missing. They didn’t know the real truth about why, I just told them they left letters saying they were leaving. As much as I hated lying to them, I didn’t want them to be mad at me right now. I needed their help finding them. They were at my house everyday, looking on the internet to see if paps had gotten photos of them somewhere, looking at Zayn’s bank records, anything to help find them. But so far, nothing. I hadn’t ate since they left, I was a mess…no words could describe what I was going through. Perrie would show up too to help, but I couldn’t even look at her. I didn’t want nothing to do with her anymore. Although this was not all her fault, I couldn’t stand looking at her. Because I was reminded every time about what we did and it being the reason they were gone.
I’ve sat in my room everyday, praying, crying, but nothing changing. As I sat in there, I’d think about how (Y/N) said she loved me in the letter…….How come she never told me? I looked back and thought about our relationship. Even though we hadn’t been together for a year, she was still the best girl I’d been with. And even though I said she didn’t satisfy me like Perrie did, I take it all back. Without (Y/N) here now, I was realizing she was everything to me and that she did satisfy me. She completed me, and without her, I was shutting down. Each day I could feel myself slipping away. Almost giving up on looking for her, but then trying to keep my spirits up. Hoping she’ll come back and talk to me. We had never had a major fight, but she was a listener, we could work through this…..somehow….

Your POV:
We were in a different city every week. It was exciting to see all these new places, but then remembering why we were here in the first place would ruin it. But Zayn was loving this, so I was too. We’d laugh at stupid things and end up talking about our happiest moments, for a moment, forgetting about what happened. But then we’d see something that would remind us of them and we’d be silent for a moment. Today we were out walking around a park. It was beautiful and peaceful. It was winter so we had our coats on, Zayn had his hood pulled up and sunglasses and I had a beanie on with sunglasses too. Everyday we hoped someone wouldn’t recognize us, and so far it hadn’t happened. As we were walking, I saw a small coffee stand and went to go grab us something. We had been using straight cash this whole time, not wanting the boys to track our accounts. It was Zayn’s idea and he was smart about it. We sat on a park bench and ate and talked. But when we grew silent, I knew we were both thinking the same thing. “Zayn, how long are we going to do this?” By now all the boys had tried calling us, but we didn’t pick up. I assumed they found out what happened by now also. “I love what we’re doing, I mean, this is peaceful, but we can’t do this forever right?” He shrugged. “I know we can’t do it forever, but for the time being, this is better than being back there.” “Zayn, I love you, you know that. But we both know that we’re going to have to go back there and face them. Zayn if there’s anything I’ve ever learned from you, it’s to have strength. You have so much strength that I wish I was like you. You’ve handled everything directed at you, good and bad, even though you explode once in awhile, but you’re learning. I’m learning from you. I want us to be happy, and yes what they did sure as hell broke us, but I think in order for us to move on, we have to face them..” He took what I said into consideration. I could see him working it out in his head. “Yeah I know. I just don’t think I’m ready to do that yet love. I just think I need a little more time. Can we spend a little more time here, I like this place. Like you said, it’s peaceful.” I smiled at that. “Yes of course, I’m ready to leave when you are bro.” “Bro? Ha, what, are you going gangster on me now?” “No ha, I just wanted to make you laugh.” I hadn’t seen him have a genuine smile in a while and I wanted to see that again. He did that now. As we ate, I thought. Truth was, we’ve been having fun, doing things to keep us occupied, that I hadn’t thought much about Lou. I mean the pain was there yes, but I was trying to burry it. And it had work for the time being, but I knew sooner or later we were going back to face them. And when that time came, I would be ready. I had stuff I wanted to tell Louis and Perrie. Stuff I wanted to say before I left for good. No matter what he says, I’m not taking someone back who cheats.

Lou’s POV:
I was in my room sleeping when I heard someone yell. I jumped up and ran downstairs. All the boy were surrounded by the computer looking at something. “What? What happened?” “We found them!” Liam sounded so happy. My face lit up. “Where? How?” They showed me a picture of (Y/N) and Zayn sitting on bench in a park. It must’ve been taken by someone who knew them and posted it. “In Inverness. About 10 hours away from here.” “Great, let’s go.” I started to walk away but Liam stopped me. “Um, actually Lou, you’re not in good shape. How bout we’ll go and then we’ll bring them back?” I thought about what he was saying, but I couldn’t let them go alone. Then they’d find out what happened. “No guys, really, I’m fine. I want to go.” “Yeah well we already made up our minds, you’re staying here buddy.” Niall said. I looked at him like wtf. Why were they doing this? “And what makes you think I won’t just go on my own? I do own a car.” “ We disabled it. Plus we talked to Perrie, she said she’d stay with you to make sure you don’t go.” Of course she would. Jesus. “Who the hell disabled my car?” “Sorry mate.” Harry raised his hand. “Fine whatever, just bring them right back. I swear.” “We will mate don’t worry.” Liam patted me reassuringly. They gathered all their things and took off. I was instantly freaking out. What if they ended up telling them? What was I going to do then? The more I thought about it, the more I freaked out. A little while after they left, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to see Perrie standing there. “What?” “Lou, you know why I’m here.” I stepped aside and just let her in. “I don’t understand why you said you’d stay? Aren’t you worried the boys are going to find out?” “Louis, they’re going to find out anyways. It’s better they learn without us than having to endure an awkward car drive all the way back don’t you think?” She made a point, but still I was freaking. I sat down and just put my head down. “Perrie, what are we going to do when we see them? We can’t just say sorry.” She sat down next to me. “I know we can’t. In all honesty, I don’t know Lou. We just have to be truthful and hope for the best. And whatever comes to us, comes to us. I don’t think there’s any way we could prepare ourselves for this. Not something as bad as this. But Lou, we both know we love them more than anything, we can’t just let them go.” “Perrie, if we really had loved them so much, then why’d we do this?” I looked at her, waiting for an answer. “I could ask you the same thing.” She was right, this was a two way streak. We both carried this on, we both chose to do this, and yet we both chose to lie. Bottom line, we were both screwed. And by tomorrow, we’d both be facing our fears.

Your POV:
Zayn and I decided to stay at this place for one more day. It was lovely and we decided we’d make trips out here more often. We made all kinds of promises to each other. I didn’t really believe in promises, but in the light of what happened, promises from Zayn made me feel better. I knew he could keep a promise, unlike some of the past people to make me promises. He truly was my older brother and this made our relationship stronger. Sometimes I’d look at him, and see him hurting, but then other times I’d catch him smiling like a 5 year old again. Even though everyone labeled him as the bad boy, he had a kid side to him. You just had to be the right person to see it. Times like this kinda made me wish I had fallen for Zayn instead of Louis, but I knew as soon as I saw Lou, he was the one. And Zayn was my brother, I knew that after I got to know him better. All the boys were, but Zayn the most. Harry would tease us and tell us we just needed to get together, but he didn’t understand. I don’t think anyone did besides us. You know one of those relationships you just can’t explain fully for someone else to understand? You had to experience it in order to know what I was talking about. I would talk about this with Zayn and he’d just say no matter what others say, he’ll always be my older brother. Nothing more. And I accepted that. Right now he was watching kids playing on the swings. We came back to the park to just sit and look at the scenery. The way he looked at them though was like he longed for it. “Zayn, did you and Perrie ever talk about having kids?” He let a small smile appear. “Yeahh actually we did. We said we’d have a family by the time we were 23, 3 boys and 1 girl. And a dog……..Gosh, our kids would of been so beautiful.” His smile faded. “There’s still a chance Zayn….” I truly hoped him and Perrie worked it out. They’d been together so long that they were meant for eachother, no matter what course they ran into. Their love was what inspired me. I wanted a love like theirs. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can forget what’s happened.” “I know, I don’t think I can either. But Zayn, you and Perrie love each other so much. Anyone can see that. You know that. Sure, she made a huge mistake, but that’s what makes love stronger, getting through some of the toughest things together. I think you guys will work it out.” “If you’re saying that about me and Perrie, what about you and Louis?” I looked back to where the kids were laughing and playing. Me and Lou didn’t discuss much about our future together, so I saw no point in having one. “Me and Lou are different from you and Perrie. I don’t think he cares for me the way I care for him. Shoot, I love him and I don’t even think he loves me back. We don’t have the undying love you and Perrie have when you guys look at eachother, we haven’t been together for that long to even know. But after this, this just proves to me that he wasn’t committed.” “Even though I don’t very much care for him right now, you don’t know Lou like I do. He likes you very much. Love? I’m not sure about that, but Lou cares for you. I know it sounds stupid after what’s happened, but he does (Y/N). And he’s never done this before. Maybe he was scared. I’ve never seen him last this long with a girl, maybe he was scared of loving you..” “Yeah but if he was scared why didn’t he just tell me?” “Zayn? (Y/N)?” We heard a familiar voice and I froze. I looked at Zayn and we both turned around at the same time. Standing in front of us were Harry, Liam, and Niall. I stood up slowly, wondering how the hell they had found us. “Why have you guys been ignoring us?? We’ve been worried.” “How did you guys find us?” “Someone took your picture here and posted it. We came as soon as we saw. Now what happened? Why’d you guys leave?” I just looked at Zayn. Lou and Perrie obviously hadn’t told them….

Your POV:
My throat was dry, my body frozen in place, and no words escaping my mouth. I couldn’t even cry. There they were, sleeping with each other, as if they were made for each other. I felt someone pulling me back. Zayn. I had zoned out to where I forgot he was here. But when I looked at him, his face mirrored mine. He pulled me out into the hallway and closed the door. Then motioned for me to go downstairs. We walked, in silence, until we got to living room. My legs finally gave out and I collapsed on the floor. That’s when I started crying. I could feel Zayn pick me up and hold me on the couch. I could hear him sniffling so I knew he was silently crying too. “Zayn…..” “Shh..let’s just get out of here.” Zayn went upstairs to gather some of his things. While he did that, I got up and went into the kitchen. I found a pen and a piece of paper and wrote Louis a note.
“Louis,
Deep down, I wish I hadn’t witnessed this. I wish you had cared for me the way I care for you. I don’t understand why this happened, but I know I don’t want the answer. I just want you to know, that I loved you Louis, and you shattered that for me. So please, don’t ever contact me again, or come looking for me. This is goodbye Louis.
(Y/N)”
I folded the note and placed it on the counter. Zayn came down with a bag and just looked at me. “What are we going to do Zayn?” He looked down at the bag he was holding. “I don’t know, but let’s leave here.” I nodded and followed him to his car. I had stopped crying, but when we got to my flat, as I was packing my bags, I started again. But Zayn was with me every step of the way. I took one last look around and walked out.
We were in the car, just driving, to nowhere specific. I looked over to Zayn. He looked beaten up, I wasn’t the only one hurting, he was too. I couldn’t believe what we had seen. Our partners, sleeping with one another, behind our backs. How long had this been going on? Why would they do that to us? Zayn loved Perrie with all his heart, and she just broke his heart. I loved Louis and he also broke my heart. But what I think hurt the most was that it was our most trusted people we loved who did this to us. I had so many things going through my head, but I needed to talk to Zayn. He was the type to keep things bottled in. And when he did that, he would explode sometime down the line, and I didn’t want him doing that. “Zayn, what are you thinking?” He gripped his hand tighter on the wheel but just stared at the road. I let him take his time answering. “I don’t know what to think right now (Y/N). All I can say is I’m in shock and hurt.” So I asked him again, “What are we going to do?” He just shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, I figured we’d drive as far away as possible until we get tired. I don’t want to see their faces again.” So we drove.

Lou’s POV:
I woke up in Perrie and Zayn’s room. Shit, I spent the night?! I got up and started to get dressed. Jesus I hope they didn’t come home. I looked out the window and Zayn’s car wasn’t there. Good, maybe they ended up staying out somewhere. I looked at the clock and it was 5am. Perrie was still sleeping so I went downstairs. I went to the kitchen to grab my keys when I saw a note. It had my name on it in (Y/N)’s writing. What the fuck? I opened and started to read, but the first line had me breaking out in sweat. ‘I wish I hadn’t witnessed this…’ Shit, they did come home, and they saw us. Oh my god. I read the rest of the note and by the time I was done, my hands were shaking. She told me she loved me….she never said it to me before. My girlfriend and my best mate just saw me and his girlfriend sleeping together. I had never meant to stay the night, I had told myself over and over again we’d never get caught, but we did. I started panicking. I ran upstairs to wake Perrie up. “Perrie! Wake up!” I pushed her and she jolted awake. “What?!” “They know.” I was shaking the letter in her face. She grabbed it from me and started reading. Her eyes got wider as she went along. By the end, the color had drained out of her face. “Louis…..what have we done?!” She jumped up and put her clothes on. She walked into the bathroom and found a note from Zayn. “Perrie, I hope he was all you wished for. Don’t call me, don’t look for me, and don’t ever come near me. Have a nice life. -Zayn.” She rushed to her closet and opened it. “He took clothes, he’s gone. They’re gone.” I ran out of the room and out to my car. I could hear Perrie shouting at me but I didn’t care. I had to see if she was there. But when I arrived, I saw that she had also taken some of her clothes and was gone. My heart started racing, I started feeling dizzy and cold. I did this. I ruined us. Not only is she gone, but Zayn is too. I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up, and neither did Zayn. They could be anywhere by now, and I had no clue where to start. I sank down to my knees and started praying for the first time in ages. ‘God please, please let me find her. Let me find her and tell her I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I regret it and wish I could take it back. Please God, please. I swear I will do anything to get her back.’ I finally broke down and just cried on the floor. My life was ruined now, and I didn’t know what to do….

Your POV:
We had driven all night, it was now 6am. Zayn was tired so I told him to pull over and find a place to sleep. I had no clue where we were and I don’t think Zayn knew either. But he didn’t seem to care. When my phone rang, it scared me. I looked at the caller id and saw that it was Louis. My head started hurting and my eyes watered, but I just let it ring. “Is it him?” I nodded my head. Zayn grabbed my phone and threw it to the back of the car. His phone then started ringing and he did the same. “Don’t answer anything” I knew he was right. I didn’t want to talk to anyone besides Zayn. But I knew sooner or later people would start looking for us. Zayn didn’t seem to care though, so neither did I. I trust him and I knew he’d take care of me, just like I would take care of him. Zayn finally found a hotel and pulled over. He pulled his hood over his head and put sunglasses on so no one would recognize him. He grabbed our bags and then walked me inside. He paid for one night and then we went up to our room. When we got in, all I wanted to do was sleep. Zayn put our bags down and took off his shoes and sweater. He pulled back the blankets and motioned for me to follow. I did the same and went to lay besides him. He covered me and I just held onto him. Nothing about this felt like it was more than friends because we respected each other. This was just us needing each other and comforting one another. I held tight onto him and he rubbed my head. I started crying again. “Shhh (Y/N), it’s going to be ok. All we need is each other right now. And believe me when I saw, I would never hurt you. Get some sleep, we’ll drive again tomorrow.” I didn’t know how he could be so strong at a time like this. But I knew I had to learn from him and be strong too. “I hope so Zayn……”

Your POV:
Louis wasn’t your typical guy. He was very fun to be around, caring, and acted like a 5 year old at times. But that did not stop me from loving him so much. He and I had a fun relationship, never dull, never boring. He kept me entertained and hardly ever made me mad at him. I was a very shy girl, but when I met Louis, he made it a job to break through my shell, and he did. I mean I’m still shy, but not as bad as I was. And we’ve been together for 7 months now. I know it was till early, but I knew he was the one for me. I never said this directly to him, but I had hoped he felt the same as well. I still lived in the states while Lou lived in London. Whenever he had time, he’d fly out to see me. Even if it was just for a night, he’d still come, which I was thankful for. And when he was too tired to fly out and see me, he’d pay to have me flown out. I loved every minute I had with him.
I had a close relationship with all of the boys also. Me and Zayn especially. He is like the big brother I never had but always wanted. During my time with Louis, the boys had seen me break down once, and since Zayn was busy with something, they were the ones who were there for me. Somewhere in the mist of my breakdown, I had expressed how I always wanted an older brother to take care of me and protect me, Zayn immediately took me under his wing and said he’d always protect me no matter what. And I cherished him for that. Lou didn’t mind our relationship because he knew what it was: a brother/sister relationship. I never had feelings for any of the boys. Liam had Danielle, Zayn had Perrie, and Niall had Demi. Harry was still single but he wasn’t my type. Plus I understood the relationship he had with Harry also, even though some fans would like to see him and Harry together, I knew where they stood. I had nothing to worry about. Today all of us were hanging out at Zayn’s. Perrie and him had set up a big dinner and invited all of us. It was great to be with all of them and just laugh. At times Lou would get up to help Perrie when Zayn did not. I would look to Zayn, but he’d just shrug his shoulders. I always found it weird that Lou would rush to her side and Zayn wouldn’t. When Zayn and I had some alone time, I pulled him aside to ask him. “Zayn, has something happened between you two?” “Idk (Y/N), she’s been different lately. I don’t get to spend much time with her as it is, but now she goes off in the middle of the night and doesn’t come hom till the next day. But I don’t ask. I mean I trust her, but it hurts you know? She doesn’t talk to me like she used to.” It hurt knowing Zayn was hurting. “Zayn, I’m here for you, you know that. I don’t like to see you like this.” “I know, thanks love. How bout we go to the movies or something later, something to make me laugh to forget about it for a while?” “Sure, great. I’ll Lou.” We went back to where everybody was. Others were getting ready to leave back home, so we hugged and said our goodbyes. Then it was just Zayn, Perrie, Lou and I. “Me and Zayn are gonna go to a movie. Is that alright love? He’s kinda down.” I whispered this to Lou as Zayn helped Perrie pick up. “Yeahh sure babe. I’ll stay and help her clean up so you guys can go.” “Great thanks babe.” I kissed him on the cheek and left with Zayn.

Lou’s POV:
After Zayn and (Y/N) left it was just Perrie and I. I helped her pick up, not really saying anything. She had picked up the final pieces of trash and had walked into the kitchen. I took this moment to follow her. She was leaning against the counter as if she was waiting for me. I walked over and stood in front of her. She looked up at me with desire in her eyes. That was the look. The look she always gave me when she wanted me. I don’t know how to explain it, but Perrie and I had a connection. When Zayn and Perrie got together a year ago, I tried to avoid it. But as the months went on, I just couldn’t anymore. One day when we were alone, she came onto me. And you know what? I didn’t stop her. I kissed her like I needed her, like I’d been waiting for her. I felt sparks with her and I couldn’t deny her anymore. That was 4 months ago and to this day, we were still sneaking around. I had met (Y/N) in the mist of this relationship and fell for her also. But Perrie understood because she had Zayn. My relationship with (Y/N) was truly the best, but she didn’t satisfy me like Perrie did. Perrie and I hated ourselves for feeling like this towards each other, but we couldn’t hold back. I know how much Zayn loves Perrie, and Perrie knows I have deep feelings for my girl, but yet we still did it.
As I stood in front her, I longed to kiss her. And when I finally did, our bodies melted together like they always did. I felt guilty as hell for what we were doing, but I needed her. We both had agreed not to act suspicious around each other and to not to tell others. It would break their hearts if they knew about this. But we carried on. “(Y/N) said Zayn’s been down lately. What’ve you been doing?” I asked after we kissed. She sighed and looked at the ground. “I just don’t want to sneak around anymore Louis. I mean, why don’t we just tell them? They’ll unerstand won’t they?” “No love, they won’t. Zayn is my best mate, if he knew I was doing this to him, it would ruin everything. I risk us being exposed. Maybe somewhere down the line if both of us break up with them, then maybe we can be together publicly, but until then, this is all we have.” I kissed her again and picked her up. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I carried her up to the room. We did this every chance we got, knowing we could be caught at any moment, but still doing it. I layed her down on the bed and closed the door. I didn’t know when Zayn and (Y/N) were going to be back so we had to hurry.

Your POV:
Zayn and I chose to watch both a comedy and a horror story. We paid for our tickets and went inside. We were going to be there a while so we ordered drinks and foods. I could tell he was already feeling better being out of the house. Knowing I could help made me happy to be here for him. “What?” He had caught me smiling at him. “Oh nothing, just happy you’re happy again.” “Pssh, shut it girl. Let’s go watch our movies.” We laughed like no tomorrow, made jokes about the actors and told each other who would be stupid enough to do some of the things they were doing. He always made fun of me saying I’d be the stupid one of the bunch and in return I said he’d be the ugly brother. But he knew I really didn’t mean it, but we laughed. Then when the horror movie came, he paid attention to it silently. It made me laugh how attentitive he was during these movies. At times he would jump and spill a little popcorn. Then he’d try to make it look like something ran across his feet. He always did this and would make me laugh. “You know, if we were ever in this situation, I’d leave your ass behind and save myself.” The guy in the movie was going back to rescue his sister. “Oh wow thanks Zayn! That’s nice to know I would die.” “Nah I say that because I know you could handle yourself.” “Ha, nice save boy.” He just laughed at me, but I knew in reality he’d come back for me. After 4 hours, the movies were finally done. We left the movies and I teased him about jumping and being scared. “Shut up, no one knows about that ok.” ” Yes sir, aha I’m the only one who gets to make fun of you about that now.” Then we got quiet. “Zayn, you love Perrie right?” “Yes why?” “What does it feel like?” He smiled. “It’s not something you can really explain (Y/N). Everyone’s love is different. What I feel for her though, I still get butterflies in my stomach each time I see her. She’s so beautiful and caring, I fell for her immediately. All I want to do with her is just lay with her day and night, holding her, knowing I’m there for her. But when we’re apart, all I do is think about her, what she’s doing, if she misses me too. It’s like, that person is the one who holds your heart, body and soul. Without them, you’re nothing. There are times when I think I don’t deserve her because she’s so patient with me, but then she tells me she’ll wait for me always. I love her dearly and don’t know what I’d do without her.” I loved hearing him talk about her, you could see he truly did worry about her when they were away from each other, but I couldn’t picture Perrie ever leaving Zayn. “Why did you ask that?” “Hmm, I don’t know. I love Lou, I just don’t know how to tell him yet. I’m waiting for the right time, but I don’t know how.” “There is no real ‘right time’. It’s a matter of you just expressing your feelings to him. I know he’d love to hear that (Y/N). You just need to tell him flat out and see how he reacts. And let me tell you, if he doesn’t say it back, then he doesn’t deserve it. But if he does, then he’s yours forsure. Just tell him babe.” I debated on what he was saying. “Fine, I’ll tell him tonight then.” I was now smiling and couldn’t wait to get home.
We finally arrived back home around 12am. Zayn unlocked his door and we walked in. Lou’s car was still here so we went in looking for him. When we walked in, everything was clean, but there was no Perrie or Louis. “Maybe he decided to stay the night. Prolly in the guest room, c’mon.” We walked up the stairs laughing about the movies. Zayn wanted to check on Perrie first, then he’d walk me to the guest room. I watched him open the door and then just stand there. I couldn’t see over his should, but I could see him tense up. I started walking towards him but he frantically shut the door. “Zayn…..what is it?” He turned to face me and I could anger and worry written all over his face. “Um, let me just drop you off at your house ok.” “No, what’s happening?” I pushed past him and opened the door. Now I knew why he had tensed up. What I saw made me want to punch a wall and cry at the same time. It was Perrie in her bed alright, but Lou was right there with her…..and they were naked. My heart broke at what I was seeing.

EPILOGUE 2 YEARS LATER

Your POV:
It’s 2 years since I saw Zayn Malik last. I didn’t know exactly how he was doing because he never contacted me again since that night le left. I still talked to the boys, but they never brought him up or asked me anything about him. Me and Trever were still together, and I loved that boy. But as the years got longer, I’ve come to realize he’s not the one for me. And I knew the reason why. Slowly my feelings for Zayn had been coming back. Him not contacting me told me he hadn’t moved on. Or maybe he had and he just didn’t want to see me whatsoever. But I knew I didn’t want to lead Trev on, so I had to tell him. And being the gentlemen that he is, he understood. We’ve always been honest with each other, and he was just glad I had told him. Trever, I knew, would always be my friend. And he confirmed it when he said he still wanted to be in my life. He was a great person to have by my side and he’d always have a place in my heart. I was still living in California in my hometown. The boys were currently taking a break from touring and I knew they’d all be home. I had to go see Zayn. Just to see if he still felt the same, or if he had moved on. For my sake. I booked tickets to fly to London, called the boys and told them I was coming, and they invited me to stay with them. I would choose who when I got there but they couldn’t wait. I was excited too but nervous at the same time. Last time I saw Zayn, I basically pushed him away from me, told him to move on and that I had no feelings for him. It was true though at the time. I was truly in love with Trever, but as time went on, I just wanted to be friends. And my love for Zayn came back. I wanted to express this to him and see how he’d take it, the same way he did to me.
The next day I was on my 10 hour flight to London, excited to see the boys and Zayn. When I arrived at the airport, it was Louis who was there to pick me up. His smile brightened when he saw me and I couldn’t help but feel mine do the same. I ran towards him and jumped in his arms and he swung me around. He was the only one I did this with I realized at that moment. He set me down and just looked at me. “You look great (Y/N).” “Thank you Lou. It’s been way too long hasn’t it?” He picked up my luggage and started walking towards the car. “Yes, way too long. We’re just happy you’re here.” We got into the car and he started driving. “Lou, can I ask you something?” “Sure babe, what is it?” I didn’t feel the need to hesitate with him so I just let it out. “How has Zayn been?” “He, um, I don’t really know how to explain it. I mean, he’s ok, but just not his usual self you know? He keeps to himself more now and just speaks to us when needed. So he just keeps everything bottled in so we don’t really know what’s going on with him.” Hmm. I didn’t know how to explain that either, it was weird though. “Lou, me and Trever broke up.” He raised his eyebrows with concern. “What? What happened? Are you ok?” “Yeahh, yeahh, I’m fine Lou. I was the one who thought we’d be better off friends and he understood. But um, the reason why is because my love for Zayn came back. I don’t know why, but it has. I guess I never really stopped thinking about him.” “Has he tried to talk to you since then?” “No, I told him I wanted a relationship with him like I had with you guys, and for him to call me when he finally moved on, but he never called. So I take that as he never moved on…..” “Well that might explain his behavior. But I mean, love’s love right? If it came back, it came back for a reason (Y/N).” “Yeahh I know. That’s partly the reason I came, I wanted to see him and talk to him.” “Well we’re gonna go to Harry’s for a bit so you can see the guys and then I’ll call him ok?” “Alright.”
We arrived at Harry’s flat and I got out with Lou. I let all my luggage in the car because I chose to stay with Niall after all. I walked in and was shocked to see all the boys(well except Zayn) there with Danielle and Eleanor waiting for me. It made me happy to see them all. I hugged each of them and the girls too. I had slowly gotten closer to them and grew to love them. Niall was cooking, Harry was entertaining, and the rest were just chatting. I had a beer and was drinking with Niall. I had explained to him what I told Lou and he just said the truth. “Well Lou’s right, your feelings came back for a reason, it’s just a matter of seeing how he responds. We told him you were coming and invited him here, but I guess he’s not going to show.” I guess that wasn’t a good sign to begin with. Oh well, I guess it could wait until tomorrow.
I was outside on the balcony when I heard someone walking out there too. I turned thinking it was Niall and was about to ask for another beer, but when I turned, it was Zayn who was there.

Zayn’s POV:
I knew (Y/N) was arriving today and the boys invited me over to Harry’s to celebrate, but I didn’t feel like I was ready to see her again. Even though it’s been so long, I didn’t feel ready. I never called her after that night because to be honest, I couldn’t move on. I tried, believe me I did, but I would just relapse and break down again. I’ve been crying for 2 years over her, but not wanting to bother her. She had a relationship with someone good and I didn’t want to ruin that. But when Niall texted me saying she was hoping I’d be there, I decided I could go just to see her and then leave.

Your POV:
My heart skipped a beat seeing him. He grew his facial hair out but it was clean kept, his hair no longer had the blonde streak I saw recently and he seemed to have lost a little weight. But overall, it was just good to see him again. He didn’t say anything to me, just stood there. So I talked. “Zayn, hi.” I smiled at him and he smiled back. But he didn’t say anything back. “Um, it’s good to see you.” He finally stepped towards me and stood in front of me. “I um, Niall invited me. I thought the least I could do was see you.” “Yeah, I know, and I’m glad you’re here. Really.” I put my hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. He looked to where my hand was and back at me. I could tell he wasn’t expecting this, but I wanted to show him I still cared. “Zayn can we go somewhere to talk?” He nodded and I grabbed his hand walked him back inside up to the guest room. Everyone looked at us and Niall and Lou shot me a thumbs up and I just smiled. Once we reached the room, I closed and locked the door and sat on the bed. “Have a seat.” He sat down next to me and faced me. “Zayn, I wanted to tell you something. I, um, you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to, hell you don’t have to believe me, but I do want to say this. Zayn, I still love you…..” His eyes widen with shock but he didn’t speak. “I’ve just realized that it’s you I want in my life. You’re the one for me and I miss you. And when you never called, I took that as you haven’t moved on………or you did and you just didn’t want me in your life…” I left it at that and gave him time to think. “What about Trever?” “We broke up, we’re better off friends and he’s ok with that.”

Zayn’s POV:
She still loves me. Wow, I did not expect that all coming into this. But you know what, it was the best feeling I’d had since I left her house that night. My heart was melting hearing this from her, I thought I’d never hear her say that to me again But here she was telling me this. And you know what? I believed her. “(Y/N), no I haven’t moved on. I figured the best thing to do was let you live your life and not be apart of it. But of course I love you and I’m just glad to hear you say this to me. You don’t know how happy you’re making me right now.” “So, we can be together again?” My eyes started watering and I just nodded my head. With all my heart, I wanted this. She hugged me tightly and I missed this. She fit perfectly to me and then when we kissed, it was like we had never stopped. I missed it so much it hurt, but I knew this hurt would now be filled with joy because I had her back in my life. And I knew this time, in no way would I fuck this up. “I promise you babe, I will not break your heart again. I promise you.” “I believe you Zayn. I love you.” “I love you too.” “Now can we go back to the old ways? And you having your old relationship with the boys again?” I laughed at that. Yeahh I’d kept my distance from them and I really missed them. So yeah I would enjoy that and I knew they would too. “Yes, of course.” “yay! let’s go tell them.” She grabbed my hand and ran for the stairs. I stumbled after her but kept up, smiling the whole way. She stopped at the top of the stairs and called for everyone’s attention. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at us. “I would just like for everyone to know…..THAT ME AND ZAYN ARE BACK TOGETHER!” She looked at me and smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back. Everyone stood up and clapped and hoorayed for us. It felt good having my friends be happy about this. I truly had been missing out, but now I had everyone back in my life the way it should be.

Zayn’s POV:
We were in CA, finally. Where (Y/N) lives. She still never texted me back or called. Once we got here though, they boys immediately left saying they were gonna go eat pizza. Not inviting me. Fine whatever. I figured I’d text her one more time. Of course she didn’t reply. I finally gave up and just got in my car and drove around. This is where we grew up together as kids. A bunch of memories were here for me. The park we’d go to to get away, our high school, my old house, and then her house. I drove by but didn’t see any cars in the driveway. When we left, she didn’t have a car yet, so I didn’t even know if she had one now. I heard Niall say something about pizza and I knew there was only one pizza place in town. So I drove over there, and sure enough, Niall’s car was there. I pulled into the parking lot and figured I’d just show up and see what they were doing. But when I walked in, out of all the places to be, (Y/N) was here, with the boys. And someone else?

Your POV:
I could feel my eyes freeze on Zayn, and I knew the boys noticed me too because they followed to where I looked. Their faces grew serious when they saw Zayn. I finally looked away as Zayn started walking over to us. “Am I missing something?” Trever asked. I didn’t want to lie to him. “Remember in the beginning when I said I had a bad break up?” He nodded his head. “Well this is the guy. He’s part of their band.” Trever didn’t look mad, which I was glad for. “(Y/N) I’m sorry, we didn’t tell him we were coming here.” Louis leaned in and said. “It’s ok Lou.” Zayn finally reached our table and then just stood there. When I looked at him, I thought I would feel hatred towards him, anger, anything. But instead, I just felt nothing. I knew in the beginning, that in order for me to move on, I had to forgive him for what he did. And since I already did that, I felt nothing when seeing him. “Zayn, what’s up man?” Niall asked suspiciously. He just continued to look at me. That’s when Trev took the initiative to get up and introduce himself. And I tried so hard to hold back my laugh. “Zayn right? I’m Trever. Her boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and Zayn just looked at him shocked.

Zayn’s POV:
Her boyfriend? She had a boyfriend? And he was freakin blonde?! I had no clue why I was suddenly feeling jealous, but you don’t know how bad I wanted to hit the guy. But I held myself back because I didn’t want to act like an idiot in front of (Y/N). So after just looking at ‘Trever’, I finally shook his hand lightly. Then he just sat down. I was at a loss for words. Seeing her again, all my feelings came back unexpectedly. I went back to looking at her. I expected her to avoid my gaze, but instead, she looked me straight in the eyes. She really moved on then. Because if she still loved me, she wouldn’t be able to hold my stare then. Wow. I felt stupid for feelings these things. It was like I was seeing her for the first time again. “Zayn.” She finally spoke to me. “(Y/N), um hi.” “Can we help you?” I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I didn’t want to be here anymore, so I made up some bullshit excuse. “I, um, lost my key so I came to get one of the boys’.” I looked at them and they knew I was lying. But Niall gave in and gave me his. I said thank you and just walked out. But before I got back into my car, I looked back at them through the window. They were all smiling and laughing with each other. And when I saw her look at her now boyfriend, I knew the look. Because that was the way she used to look at me. And I knew then, that even though I had lost her, I still loved her. I drove back to the hotel and just sat in my room. I was glad I had my own room because it gave me time to think. I went over everything in my head. How could I be feeling like this when me and Carly just broke up? I told Carly I loved her and not even 4 months later I’m falling in love with (Y/N) again? What the hell. But I couldn’t control my emotions. Was I just trying to convince myself to love Carly to get over (Y/N)? I had never asked myself that or even thought about that. Because when I told (Y/N) that, I believed it was true. But now looking back, I knew it wasn’t the day I woke up without her. I just used Carly to replace her because I wanted her back so much but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Gosh, how screwed up am I? I still wanted to tell (Y/N) I was sorry for what I did, so I tried one last time to text her.

Your POV:
We had just finished eating with the boys and they were leaving. “Thank you guys for coming. I’m glad you guys got to meet him.” I hugged all of them. “No problem love, we loved seeing you again. We’ll be here for a couple of days so maybe we can hang out again. You know, if you can handle our crazy schedule.” Liam said winking at me. “Pssh, I grew up with it, I can fit myself in aha.” “But really (Y/N), we’re glad to see you happy, and Trever, he’s a keeper. I can tell.” I laughed and thanked Harry for that. “And we apologize about the Zayn thing, we didn’t know he would come here.” “You know what, it was ok. I thought I would feel anger when I saw him, but I just felt nothing. So it’s ok boys.” “Alright, well we’ll see you laters babe. Bye!” We all said bye and they left. I went back to Trever and he drove me home. “I hope that wasn’t awkward for you babe.” He just laughed. “No it wasn’t. I thought it would be when you said that was the guy you used to date, but I think I handled myself well.” All I could do was smile. Honestly he was the best man ever. “Yes, yes you did. You were the bigger person. So thank you.” “Anything for you love. Plus aside from that, the boys are cool. They’re not uptight like most famous people, so it was nice just to talk. Plus I finally had guys to talk to.” He winked at me and I just laughed. “Ahh, I love you trever.” Before I could stop myself, that last part slipped out. I closed my eyes and silently said ‘oh shit’. I didn’t mean to say that. Shit what if he doesn’t say it back! But when I opened my eyes, he was just smiling at me. “I was waiting for you to say that. I love you too babe.” He grabbed my face and kissed me. I instantly relaxed in his arms. I really did love this boy. “I was so scared you wouldn’t say it back.” I said after he pulled away. “Are you kidding, that’s why I hadn’t said it first. I was scared of the same exact thing.” “Ok, from now on we just tell each other what we’re feeling no matter what ok?” “Deal babe.” We pulled up at my house and I kissed him again and got out.
As he was leaving I felt my phone vibrate again. It was Zayn. ‘Can I please see you? I want to talk to you. Please?’ I knew what I had with Trev was real, so anything Zayn wanted to say wouldn’t change my mind, so I figured, why not? I wanted know what he so badly wanted to tell me anyways.’Fine, tomorrow at my place then.’ I put my phone away and just went inside.

Zayn’s POV:
The next day I found myself anxious. Maybe it was because I was actually going to get to talk to her again. And last night, I decided I’d tell her how I feel because I needed to share it with someone. When I got to her house, I hesitated on knocking on the door, but I let out one last sigh and finally knocked. I could hear her coming towards the door and she opened it. She didn’t say hi, just stepped aside to let me in. I walked in and looked around. The place still looked the same and I had forgotten how much I missed this place. “Are your parents home?” I don’t know why I asked that. “No, they’re at work.” She said walking into the kitchen. I followed and sat down at the table with her. “Want anything to eat or drink?” I knew with what I was about to say, I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. “No thank you.” “Ok, so. What did you want to talk about?” She sat down and just looked at me. I didn’t know how to start this, but here goes nothing. “(Y/N), I um, look I just wanted to apologize for what I did to you. The reason why I waited so long to do this is because it took someone hurting me for me to realize what you went through. And I now know the feeling and I know it isn’t good. But for you, I know it was worse. And I am truly sorry for my mistakes and outlashes.” I watched her face but she showed no emotion, nor did she show any signs of talking, so I kept going. “I shouldn’t of treated you like that, and in no way did I mean to physically hurt you. I deeply regret that, you don’t know how much. And I completely understand if you don’t forgive me, I wouldn’t expect you to. But (Y/N)………….I also wanted to tell you that…………..after seeing you yesterday….and how happy you looked, I realized I still love you and that I miss you……..” I stopped not knowing how else to express that last part. She just looked at me for a while, but finally responded. “Well for one, thank you for apologizing. Two, I forgave you a long time ago Zayn.That’s what helped me move on, I knew if I dwelled on the past, I wouldn’t be able to, so I forgive you. Three, I have a boyfriend Zayn and you have a girlfriend.” She forgave me already? Wow. “I did,” I corrected her, “I did, but um we broke up.” “Ahh, ok, but that doesn’t change that I have a boyfriend. And I am very happy with him,” my face fell when she said that, “And Zayn, if I’m being totally honest with you, I seriously don’t have any feelings towards you at all. I don’t hate you, I’m not mad at you, I don’t loathe you, and lastly I don’t love you anymore. I stopped loving you the day I moved on.” She had no feelings whatsoever. I didn’t expect her to, but for her not to even loathe me, it hurt. I didn’t know what to say anymore. How do you respond after that? “Zayn look, I appreciate you coming here and trying to set things right, and you did, so thank you, but you need to move on. Move on and find someone who makes you happy like I did. You need to let go and just live. Don’t think back about what you did to me, because I don’t. Like I said, I forgive you, and you need to forgive yourself.” My eyes watered at that. “I truly want to see you happy and live again Zayn. Because that’s the boy I remember from my childhood. If I can do it, you can too. I believe in you. As soon as you forgive yourself Zayn, let me know. Because I’d love to have the relationship that I have with the boys, with you too. But you just need to let go ok?” I looked up at her and her face was sincere. I didn’t think I could ever be her friend again if I loved her. All I’d think about is what I don’t have. But she’s right, I did need to move on. “Ok,” was all I could say. I stood up to leave and she walked me to her door. After I opened it and stepped out and turned around again. “Um, thank you (Y/N).” “Zayn just remember, let go okay? It makes everything better.” I just nodded my head and left.
A week later, I was back home, just thinking about her. If I truly loved her, how could I just let her go? Sure it would make everything better, but I just wanted her. I was laying on my bed when I remembered the box of pictures under my bed. I sat on the floor with them and started going through them. And that’s when I finally broke, I let go of all my emotions I was holding in. It deeply hurt looking at the pictures of us. We were so happy. She is so beautiful and she never judged me. Every picture she looked at me as if she could never live without me. But I took her for granted, and now I’d never get the chance to love her again. She found happiness, but it’s not with me. And it’s all my fault. I did this, I ruined everything and broke both our hearts. But hers is now mended and here I am crying for her. Why didn’t I realize this the night of our fight. Oh yeahh, because I was freakin drunk. I hadn’t touched a drink since then. But it wasn’t good enough. I knew I had to change my ways now. I had to try to move on so I could try and be happy. The thing is though, I didn’t believe I could……

-6 months later-
Zayn’s POV:
Me and Carly were still together, in fact I think I’m falling in love with her. We’ve been together since the incident happened with (Y/N) and she’s been my strength. I got a lot of hate about it, and so did she, but what mattered was that we were ok. When I’d get down, she was there to pick me up. The boys were really there for me anymore. I knew they kept in touch with (Y/N) because I’d catch them talking to her, but when I’d walk in they’d hang up. I guess it was good she still kept in touch with them because I haven’t called her since then. I still didn’t feel like now was the right time to apologize. But then again, it’s been 6 whole months. How much longer did I need? I didn’t know, but I knew it wasn’t now. Niall and I would go out sometimes, but even then he’d just talk about music and food, never bringing her up. At times I’d want to ask about her, but I’d hold myself back because I knew I didn’t deserve to know.
-Flashback-
I was starting to clean up the glass and broken frames when the boys came by. All of them. I thought they were there to talk to me, comfort me (even though I didn’t need it), but no. They were there to gather (Y/N)’s things. I stood by and just watched them put her things in boxes. I didn’t know what to think, I guess it finally hit me that she was gone. “Did she um, ask you guys to do this?” I said to no one in particular. It was Liam who answered. “Yeah, she wants them sent to her.” “She’s back home, right?” “Yupp, back with her family which is best for her.” I nodded in approval. My lifestyle kept her from them, so it was better that she was back with them. They started to pick up all the pictures but I stopped them. “No, wait. I, um, I’ll deal with those.” They gave me a weird look but continued on. After they packed all of her things they left. They hardly spoke to me, but I guess I deserved it. They all loved her as a sister and I ruined it. After they left I went over to where all of our pictures were. I know she took the one of when we were kids. but all the rest were of us in high school and on. I put them all in a box and stuffed it under my bed. Then I finished cleaning up, trying not to think about her.
-Present-
The boys and I were going on tour in 2 days. I was excited, but then again not. That meant I’d be away from Carly and more time with the boys ignoring me. I hadn’t told her I’d be leaving, but I was planning on telling her tonight. I thought she’d take it well, but I had guess wrong. “Tour? For how long?” “About 9 months.” “9 months?! You’re going to be gone for 9 months Zayn. What am I suppose to do?” I was shocked by her question. What does she mean? “Um, be my girlfriend and wait?” But she just sighed. I hadn’t told her I loved her yet because I barely knew myself. I figured tonight would be a good time. “Zayn, I don’t think I can wait that long.” “What are you saying?” “I’m saying…..we should end this. To be honest, I don’t trust you out on the road without me. I mean, you cheated on your last girlfriend with me, how do I know you won’t do that to me?” Wtf, was she really asking me that? She got with me knowing I had to go on tour sometime. “Carly, are you serious? I’m not going to do anything.” “Zayn, stop. I don’t want this anymore ok. Maybe when you come back we can talk.” “But….I love you.” I barely whispered. She heard though. “Um, ah wow. Let’s just pretend you didn’t say that ok? I think it’s time you leave now.” What the hell just happened? Pretend it didn’t happen? I just said I loved her and she doesn’t wanna remember that? My heart broke. But I left. How could she do that to me? I didn’t do anything bad to her? But as I was sitting on the tour bus with the boys and telling them what happened, even though I knew they didn’t want to hear it, Niall shocked the hell out of me. “Did you ever think that’s what (Y/N) said to herself too? Karma’s a bitch Zayn.” And I just shut up. I sat there and thought about it. He was right, I never asked myself how she must’ve felt after she left London. All I had cared about was being with Carly. He’s right, this is karma.
Our first stops were in Australia, Brazil, Germany, New Zealand, and Japan. Finally we were in America 4 months in. I knew we had a few shows in California, and I just knew I had to see (Y/N). Because now I knew how she felt, and I knew now was the right time to say sorry. I had tried calling and texting her, but she wouldn’t answer any of my calls.

Your POV:
It’s been what? 10 months? I had definitely moved on from Zayn. About 5 months ago my friends set me up on a blind date with some boy from town. I’ll admit I was not for it at first, but I decided it wouldn’t hurt anything if I just tried right? So I went. And turns out, I liked him. His name was Trever. He was tall, blue eyes, blonde hair, wonderful personality, a gentlemen and even had braces. He was the total opposite of Zayn, but I knew I shouldn’t compare him to Zayn. But as he started talking to me, I found he was easy to conversate with. He asked me things about my life, which I didn’t lie to him about. I told him I was getting over a bad break up and he said he understood. He didn’t push me to explain but kept the conversation going about mine and his lives and what we liked to do. He liked the same things I did and at the end of the night, asked me out on another date. I was genuinely happy he asked and glad I went on this date. So of course I said yes. Ever since then, we’ve been together. And what’s best is he’s made me forget all about my heartbreak. I kept in touch with the guys and kept them updated on how I was doing. They said they couldn’t wait to meet Trever and were going to be in California soon. I never asked about Zayn though, but you know what? It didn’t hurt anymore. Because Trever put my pieces back together and I was falling for him. He was my saving grace and I liked him so much. But recently Zayn had been texting me and calling and I just ignored it. I didn’t know why he waited so long to call, but whatever he needed to say I didn’t want to hear. I moved on, I didn’t need to hear his words.
Today was the day the boys were here and were going out to eat with me and Trever. I had told Trever about them and he was grateful to be meeting my friends. He met my girlfriends but not any of my guy friends. I wanted him to meet the boys before any other boys if that makes sense. I was sorta nervous to be seeing the boys after so long, but then excited. I told Trever to come at a later time so that I could have some alone time with the boys. I was sitting, waiting at a pizza parlor when they walked in. I jumped up and hugged each one of them. The smiles on their faces brightened my day. I missed them so much. “Sit down!” We all sat and started talking. “So, this Trever guy…..serious?” Harry asked. It made me laugh the way he paused after guy, but Harry always teased me. “Well, in fact, that’s what I wanted to tell you guys. He truly makes me happy and I think I’m falling for him.” I couldn’t keep my smile off my face, I could talk to them about anything. “Ah, (Y/N) you don’t know how good it is to see you so happy again.” Niall said. “I know, I’m happy here guys. But I’ve missed my boys.” “We’ve missed you too love.” Liam said. “Serious, as in………love?” Louis said. I hadn’t thought about love, but I knew I was falling hard for him. But then I saw Trever walking in and just seeing him made my heart beat fast. I looked back at Louis. “Yes.” I got up and hugged Trev and walked him over to introduce him. All the lads got up and showed nothing but acceptance and respect towards him. And it seemed like Trev liked them. I knew he liked them when they started talking about boy things. I just laughed though because I was glad we’d be able to hang out in the future without it being awkward. Just then my phone buzzed and I looked down to see a text from Zayn, but I didn’t answer. I just went back to talking with the guys and eating. Every now and then Trever would look over at me and smile and give me a kiss on the cheek. He was happy, I was happy, everything was good. That was until Zayn walked in.

Your POV:
Taking a bath felt so good, but I was still shivering. I was scared I developed hypothermia, but I knew it would probably be a lot worse than this. Sleeping last night, I couldn’t feel a thing. I was numb after passing out. I could barely feel when Niall had touched me but it still scared me. Looking at my wrists, Zayn had never been physical with me before, and looking at this now, it broke my heart. Something must’ve gotten to him for him to do that to me. But I think he could’ve handled things better. He knows I take care of him when he’s drunk, why was this different? I couldn’t explain how I was feeling. I no longer had any good feeling toward Zayn. We’ve been friends for 5 years and not once had I seen him act like that. He could always talk to me when things were rough, but once we got together he changed. I should of stopped it then, but I just loved him. I couldn’t help that I fell in love with my best friend. But he said he loved me too, but I guess that was all just a lie now. I finally felt a little better after a while in the tub and got out. Liam had laid out some clothes on the bed and I was thankful he had a girlfriend, but Niall’s clothes would of done for me. I walked downstairs and found Liam in the living room. “Hey (Y/N), do you feel better?” I went and sat next to him. “Yeahh thanks Liam. Just still a little cold. Where’s Ni?” “He had to go into the studio, I said I’d stay and take care of you.” “Oh thanks love.”

Niall’s POV:
I know Liam told her I was at the studio, but I needed to tell Zayn. We went to a pub where I ordered a pint because I knew I was going to need it. “Ok, so start.” He had been eyeballing me the whole time. I’m a terrible liar, especially when it came to Zayn. He is my best mate, but after hearing (Y/N), I couldn’t look at him the same. “Ok well first off, I found her sleeping in an alley this morning.” What’?! An alley?” “Yeahh, she had no jacket, she was shivering. So I picked her up and took her to my car. She um, asked that I not take her to you so I took her to the airport.(I lied) As we drove I asked her. She said you came home completely shitfaced and she was trying to take care of you. But you pushed her……” Zayn’s face got completely serious. “I pushed her? Did I hurt her?” “Um, well the second time you grabbed her by her wrists and shoved her into the wall, not losing grip. She uh…..her wrists are bruised Zayn.” He covered his face and I downed my pint, signaling the waiter for another one. “Zayn when I first touched her to pick her up she flinched and said no please don’t Zayn. Mate, you put hands on a female, worst of all your female. How could you?” He just shook his head. “I swear Ni, I had no clue what I was doing.” “Well, you’re going to love this next. You um, you told her she was annoying, worthless, to leave, that you didn’t love her anymore, she’s selfish, and then um…….that you cheated…..and you were already seeing someone else who was better than her.”

Zayn’s POV:
My heart rate picked up. I fuckin told her. And I told her when I was drunk, meaning other words came out that wasn’t meant to. Oh my god. (Y/N), jeez. I didn’t mean to. Annoying, worthless? Selfish? She was none of those. But the parts about me falling out of love with her were true, or so I thought last night. But I did cheat, I can’t change that. And now she knows. “And um, was it me that broke everything?” “Yes.” God. I guess everything just built up from me feeling so guilty about what I was doing. I should of just broke up with her, I should of. “How……is she?” Niall downed another pint. “She’s um, well to be honest not well Zayn. What you said was harsh, you’ve known her the longest than any of us. You should know how she handles things. And right now, she’s broken, torn.” “Ni, I um….” “Look I swear if you try to apologize to me, it’s not going to change anything. The only person you should apologize to is her. She didn’t deserve that Zayn. And first off, why in the hell would you cheat on her?” “It was just one time at first, and then every time I’d get drunk, I’d end up with the same girl and we’d go back to her place. She just, idk, made me forget my problems with (Y/N). The worse thing Ni, I didn’t feel bad at first. And I told myself I’d stop, but I just wouldn’t. It’s like I’m addicted to this girl.” “Who is she?” “Um, I think Carly?” “You’re addicted to this girl but you don’t even know her name? Nice Zayn.” “I know, it’s stupid, but part of what I said is true Ni. Me and (Y/N), it’s just, I don’t feel the same anymore. I just feel like we’re better off friends.” “Well, you should’ve just told her that in the first place, cuz let me tell you. You just lost someone who cared about you the most and she’ll never be your friend. Out of everyone Zayn, she would’ve understood. All you had to do was talk, but no you blew it.” What he was saying was true. (Y/N) was very understanding and always helped anyone going through something. She’s a listener, and that’s what I loved about her when we were friends. But I thought telling her would ruin our friendship, but I guess I was wrong. I was the one to ruin it.”What should I do?” “Honestly mate, tell her you’re sorry. But don’t do it right now because you feel guilty. No. You need to do it when you really mean it, because if you do it now, she won’t believe shit you say. You need to believe you’re sorry and until you don’t, she won’t. Now, I’m hungry. Can we eat?” He ate but I didn’t. I didn’t know when I’d be ready to tell her I’m sorry, but Niall’s right. It has to be when it’s right.

Your POV:
I looked up flights and found one leaving tomorrow morning. I booked it and then spent the rest of the afternoon with Liam. He was fun to be around an always made me laugh. We watched Toy Story like a million times, but I didn’t care. It made him happy, so it made me happy. “Liam, I’m leaving tomorrow.” “What about all of your things?” “About that…..I was gonna ask if you guys could get it for me and then just send it to me?” “Of course love. But um…..what about us? Are you just going to forget about us?” He had a hurt look in his eyes, and it hurt me to see that. I loved these boys, how could I forget them? “No Liam, of course not. I’ll keep in touch, and whenever you guys are in town, come and see me k. Just not you know who.” “Ok as long as you keep in touch (Y/N), you better.” “I will Liam, thank you guys so much. You guys are everything to me.” I rested my head on his lap and fell asleep again. When I woke up Niall was back. He had gone to Zayn’s I guess and brought me my phone back. I saw on it I had calls from Niall, Zayn, and my family at home. Also what caught my eye was there were tweets to me about what happened. How did anyone already know?? Then I saw one with a link to a picture and saw it of Zayn and that girl kissing at the club. Oh. I deleted my twitter and shut off my phone. But I sent my mom a text telling her I was coming home. “Niall, (Y/N)’s leaving tomorrow, so we need to go get her stuff and send it to her after she leaves k?” “You’re leaving already??” “Yeahh Ni, I can’t stay here. Too many memories. I need to forget about him the best I can.” His face fell but he understood. “Ok, but call us when you land ok.” “I will Niall.” I smiled at them because they truly cared. Zayn probably didn’t care that I was leaving, but then again he shouldn’t know.
The next morning, Liam had gotten me more clothes from Danielle and they dropped me off at the airport. I cried as I said goodbye to them, but I knew it wasn’t for good. These boys would always be in my life. They stood there and watched me walk away as I boarded the plane. I had nothing with me, just my cell phone and wallet. My mother was going to meet me when I landed and I was glad to be seeing her. Being away so far hurt me, so I was happy to be going home. When I arrived in California I could feel my shoulders relax. Knowing I was so far from him made me feel a little better. He still hadn’t tried calling since this morning and that made me realize he didn’t care, so I should either. My mom hugged me and cried when I told her what happened, but she was just glad to see me. When I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. But instead, I ended up staying locked in my room for a week not moving. I was tired but didn’t want to close my eyes and dream of Zayn, but then again, being awake all I did was think about him. My mom finally came in one day and convinced me to go out. I decided to go to a cafe and eat. I hadn’t ate for a week so I dropped a little weight. But when I sat down, all around me were magazines with mine and Zayn’s faces on them. But the latest one had a picture of him and that girl holding hands. I guess they were together now. I opened it just to be nosy and saw a bunch of pictures of them. The editors were nailing him for it, finding out that he cheated on me, and fans were going crazy. They didn’t like the new girl. That’s the thing, I didn’t get hate from the fans because I’ve been there since the beginning.. But this girl, I actually felt bad for her. But seeing him with her, it made me want to move on so much more. I knew it was going to take some time, but I was strong, I’ve been through worse, so I can do this.

Your POV:
Since I didn’t have a car, my phone, anything, just this picture, I walked. Zayn of course lived in London, so I didn’t have anyone to go to. I didn’t know the boys’ numbers by heart so I couldn’t call them either. And I suck at directions so I could not remember where they lived nor how to get there. This was really bad. It was cold december and it was dark. I was still crying though, and my nose was running like hell. I didn’t know what to do. He tore me apart back there. I didn’t think it’d ever be the same between us. If getting together was ruining our relationship, why didn’t he just be honest with me and break up with me before he decided to cheat. Is she why he would come home so late at night? Now it all made sense to me. I trusted him wholeheartedly, and he just basically said fuck you. And I’m selfish? I did everything for that boy and his friends. I was basically his damn maid, I did nothing but please him. And didn’t ask for anything in return. Everything he’s bought me, he’s just given, I never asked for it. None of it. He was the one being selfish, and I hope he realizes the mistake he just made.
I kept walking, although I didn’t know where I was. I was in a dress and heels and no jacket. I kept rubbing my arms to try and get some warmth but it did very little. I lost track of time but I was getting very tired. I knew I wasn’t going anywhere particular, and right now quite frankly I didn’t give a fuck, so I just sat down in an alley. It was scary, but I just needed to rest. When I sat down the floor was cold but it felt good to rest my legs. But as soon as I got comfortable, I just fell asleep.

Niall’s POV:
I went over to Zayn’s almost every morning because I knew (Y/N) would be cooking and I was very hungry. When I knocked on the door no one answered at first. I tried calling (Y/N)’s phone but she didn’t pick up and neither did Zayn. So I knocked harder. Finally, Zayn opened the door. And let me tell you, he looked like shit. His hair was sticking up everywhere, bags under his eyes, eyes were red, and he smelled of alcohol. “Jesus, did you get in a fight with vodka?” He just covered his face and shook his head. “Are you gonna let me in or not. I’m hungry.” Zayn just stepped aside so I could walk in. But when I walked in, I wanted to turn back around and leave. The place was a freakin mess. There was glass all over the floor, broken frames surrounding the living room, (Y/N)’s things all scattered around, and with her nowhere in sight. Zayn closed the door and just went and sat on the couch. It seemed like the glass didn’t even faze him cuz he just walked right over it. I slowly walked in, scared to ask what happened. Sure Zayn and (Y/N) had their fights, but I have never seen anything like this. “Zayn man, what the hell happened?” He just put his head in his hands. “To be honest Ni, I don’t remember much. But from the looks of it, we had another fight. I was drunk so I can’t recall everything.” From the looks, uh, no shit. “Zayn, where is she?” “I woke up and she wasn’t here. I walked out here and saw all of this and just went back to sleep. Then you came.” I walked into the kitchen and could see a full course meal still sitting out. “Well, she cooked you dinner. What time did you come home?” He got up and came in the kitchen. “She did?…….I didn’t even know. Um, idk, like 1? 2?” “Zayn, wtf. How can you not remember, this is major and you can’t remember squat?” “Well, no. But I’m guessing I did this.” He looked back at everything. “(Y/N) would never break our pictures or throw her own stuff on the floor. I must’ve said something horrible. God, but I can’t remember!” He sat down frustrated at himself. The best thing was to find (Y/N) and see if she’ll even talk to me. “Look, um, you just stay here, get cleaned up and I’ll go and try to find her.” He just nodded his head. I walked outside and noticed her car was left here, and since she wasn’t answering her phone, she didn’t have that either, so I walked in the only direction she could go. Of all things that could’ve happened, I want to know what he said to her to make her leave. Usually Zayn left after they had a fight.
I walked for what seemed like ever, looking down every street, every alley and shops. I almost gave up when I could see a shivering girl on the floor in an alley. I ran over to her and it was (Y/N). Jeez, she’s wearing a dress with no jacket, and she’s on the floor. Wtf. I went to pick her up, but as soon as I touched her she freaked. “No, please, don’t hurt me Zayn.” What? “(Y/N), its me. Niall.” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Ni?” “Yeahh babe, c’mon, lets get you up ok?” I helped her up and she was struggling so bad. Her skin was very cold to touch and I was surprised she was still alive. She could barely walk so I picked her and walked the rest of the way. “Niall…” she whispered, I could barely hear her. “..I can’t go back there, please don’t take me there.” Her voice sounded so broken. Zayn must’ve touched her or something for her to react like this. “Okay babe, we’ll go to my place.” My car was parked in front of Zayn’s so I was hoping he was in the shower or something so he wouldn’t see me putting her in my car. We got there and I put her in as fast as possible, I gave her one of my jackets and hopped in and started the car. Zayn didn’t come out so I took that as a good sign. I sped out of there. I turned the heater on and blasted it so she could get warm, but she was still shivering. I called Liam so he could meet me at my house and help with this.
When I got there Liam was already there and when he saw (Y/N) his face dropped. He helped me get her out of the car and carried her into my house. We laid her down on couch, she had fallen asleep in the car so we just let her sleep. “What happened?” “That’s what I’m trying to find out. I went to Zayn’s and his place is just a disaster. And when I found her she walk in an alleyway sleeping Liam. When I touched her she jumped and said don’t hurt me Zayn. He must’ve done something man, but he doesn’t remember cuz he was drunk.” “Great. Poor (Y/N). Why didn’t she call one of us?” “She doesn’t have her phone as far as I know.” “Well let’s let her sleep then we’ll ask. But for now, if Zayn calls, we don’t have her okay?” “Yeah ok.”
(Y/N) slept for 6 hours. Me and Liam just waited patiently, and finally she woke up. Her eyes were bloodshot red and almost black underneath. “(Y/N)..” She sat up and hugged the blanket tighter around her. “How did I get here?” I looked at Liam. “Niall found you and drove you here.” “You didn’t tell Zayn did you?” “No hun, what happened?” We sat down on the coffee table in front of her to be at eye level. Her eyes were already starting to water. “Um, well you know, as usual he came home drunk. He had told me he would be home around 9 but that ended up being 1. I had gotten ready and cooked dinner for him, but that went to waste.” “That explains why you’re wearing a dress then.” “Yeahh, um, but when he came home it was worse than any other time he’s come home drunk. When we were in the bedroom, I tried helping him get undressed but he pushed me and told me to get off. But me being stupid, I didn’t listen. I tried helping him again and he grabbed my wrists and shoved me against the wall.” She pulled her hands out from under the blanket and they were badly bruised. “Oh my god (Y/N), are you ok?” She rubbed them and winced but that was it. “I’m fine, I’m just still really cold. But um, then he proceeded to tell me he didn’t love me anymore, he wanted me gone, I was annoying, I was selfish, and then……..he said he had been cheating on me for the past 2 months and seeing another girl. And that he likes her more….” Zayn? Cheating? What the hell, none of us knew about this. “(Y/N), we can guarantee you we knew nothing about that.” “It’s ok Ni, I just didn’t expect it from him.” “What was with all the glass then?” “He threw all our pictures on the floor, and then threw my stuff at me.” She pulled out a picture I hadn’t realized she had. She showed it to us. It was of her and Zayn when they were kids. This must’ve been the only thing she took before she left. “I’m so sorry (Y/N).” “You shouldn’t be apologizing Liam, it’s not your fault. I guess I should of just seen the signs. It just hurts you know? He just basically told me I was worthless and to get out of his house. Basically saying he wanted that girl more than me. We’ve been friends forever, how could he do this to me? I didn’t know how to react to that, but I didn’t want him touching me again. I’m sorry you guys have to see me like this.” She let some tears out, but I could tell she was trying to be strong in front of us. “I cannot imagine what you’re going through, but me and Liam are going to take care of you ok?” I knew she didn’t have any family members here or friends, we were her only family and friends. She was alone out here, how could Zayn do that to her? “Thanks guys, just um, please don’t tell him I’m here?” “Sure babe. How bout you go get in the bath and try to get warm? I’ll get some of Danielle’s clothes for you ok?” “Ok thanks.” Then she went upstairs. “Liam, what are we going to do?” “The best we can for her Ni without Zayn knowing she’s here.”

Zayn’s POV:
2 months ago
I was drunk, but I knew what I was doing. This girl I was with, I knew she wasn’t my girlfriend. It was just a random girl I met at the club. She wanted to take me home, so I said ok. Again, I knew what I was doing, but at this point I didn’t give a fuck. Me and (Y/N) had just gotten into a fight and I walked out and ended up here, with this girl, going to have sex. But did I feel bad? No. We got to her house, did our business, and then I left. It was around 2 am when I walked up to my house. The curtains were drawn, and I could see (Y/N) just sitting there crying, holding a picture in her hands. It was probably of us. But it was at that moment I sobered up. Seeing her cry, it hurt, and I thought maybe she heard what I did, but when I walked in she said it was because she wanted us to stop fighting. I agreed and never spoke of what I did. I knew it would hurt her if she really knew. And I love her, but not even 2 days later I was drunk again at the same club, with the same girl, and we were doing it again. It became a regular thing to do with this girl, I didn’t even remember her name each time I woke up, but I didn’t feel bad about doing it, but I know if (Y/N) knew, it’d break her heart. It wasn’t her fault I was falling out of love with her….

—Present—
Your POV:
Zayn’s been in my life ever since we were kids. We grew up together and were best friends all through high school. But after we got out, I realized my feelings for him and told him. I was worried it would affect our friendship, but surprisingly he said he had felt the same. And we’ve been together ever since, 1 year to be exact, but it didn’t mean our relationship was easy. We were constantly fighting and then he’d go off and get drunk and come home smelling like booze. But I wouldn’t say anything to him because I knew each time he did that he would just come back. But sometimes it really did get to me, but I didn’t want him to know.
Today he was in the studio with the boys and said he’d be home around 9. I thought this would be the perfect time to actually dress up and cook him dinner. So the whole day I spent preparing, cooking, and getting ready for him. It was 9 though and he wasn’t home yet. So I sat and waited. Then 10, then 11 and all the way til 1 in the morning. That’s when he finally came home.
I was sitting at the dining table and I could hear him fumbling with the lock. He was drunk, I knew it. Finally he got the door unlocked and he came stumbling in. I stood up and waited for him to notice. I had left all the food out so he knew what I had tried to do for him. But he didn’t noticed, he kept bumping into the walls, trying to make it towards our bedroom. When he finally made it into the room, I walked in after him. He was struggling to take off his jacket so I went over to help him. “Get off of me!” he screamed and pushed me into the wall. It hurt, he’s never gotten physical with me, never. All I could do was stare at him, but he moved on like nothing happened. He was still struggling, so again I tried to help him. This time he grabbed both my wrists and pushed me against the wall hard. I could smell the reeking alcohol on his breath when he talked, it was horrible, it had never been this bad. “I said get the fuck off of me. Don’t you listen to anything!” The look in his eyes scared me. Sure we had our fights, but not to the point where he had hate in his eyes. “What is wrong with you?” “I’ll tell you what’s wrong, you’re fuckin annoying and don’t listen to a word I say!! I let you do anything you want and this is what I get in return. Can’t I just go out and drink without you bugging me?!” “Zayn, let me go.” His grip had gotten tighter as he yelled. “No, you know what? I think it’s time you leave, for good.” “What?!” He started dragging me towards the door but I was trying to resist. But he was just too strong for me. “Zayn, what the fuck! I’m not leaving! This is my house too!” “No, it’s mine. I invited you here, and I can sure as hell kick your ass out. You were never good anyways.” That last part stopped me completely. “What……what did you say?” He stopped trying to move me and turned to face me. “I said…….you were never good for me. Gosh don’t you hear anything. Like I said, you don’t listen. All you think about is yourself and then get on my case for shit (Y/N). News flash, I don’t like you anymore! Haven’t you freakin noticed that?!? You’re worthless to me now, I don’t want you.” His words were breaking my heart and all he would do is laugh. “Zayn, you’re drunk, you don’t mean that…” “Do you need to hear more!? Okay how bout this, I’ve been seeing another girl and cheating on you for the past 2 months. And guess what? I like her and I’m going to keep seeing her oh and I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE! How’s that for you. Leave! Now!” All I could do was stand there. He had been cheating……out of all the things he could do….he did that. I never would’ve expected this from Zayn. I just started crying. “Zayn, why?” “Oh my god, really. Just stop. Here, maybe this’ll make you leave.” We were in the living room and he walked over the fireplace and just started grabbing all of our pictures and throwing them. All of them, each crash made me jump, I couldn’t believe he was doing this. He even threw one at my feet. It was of us as kids together. I picked it up and just looked at it. As I was doing that Zayn went to the room and grabbed all my clothes and just started throwing them at me. “Zayn, stop!!” “THEN LEAVE! I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE! LEAVE!” I was sobbing now. He really wanted me gone. I looked around the house and it was just a mess. He did this, he wanted this. He thinks I only think about myself, fine. I’ll leave. I didn’t grab anything, I just walked out with the picture in my hand. I guess what they say is true: ‘When you’re drunk, the truth comes out’. And Zayn had clearly spoke the truth to me.

Annat slut / alternativ slut

Your POV:
I still couldn’t move, I couldnt open my eyes, nothing. But when I was conscious, I could hear things. But more importantly I heard when the boys came in. One at a time. First was Liam. I so badly wanted to wake up and tell him nothing was his fault, I wanted to slap him for even thinking that. How could he, I chose to do this, it had nothing to do with him. But when he started telling me his feelings….I wanted to cry. Liam loved me…..he loves me even after this? I couldn’t help but feel relief when I heard him talking to me. The things he said..no one’s ever said those words to me, not even Niall. Liam poured his heart out to me, but I couldn’t respond. You don’t know how badly I wanted to. Liam is such a good person, but idk if I deserve him. He deserves someone who doesn’t have an ugly past like me. But I’m glad to hear his voice, he calmed me. Made me feel better, and hearing him say he wants me to wake up made me want to fight even more to wake up. But I just couldn’t…..it was easier said than done. I don’t know why I couldn’t wake up. Something was holding me back and I couldn’t fight it. Sometimes I could feel myself slipping away and I would be ready to go, but then I’d come back. It was like my heart was fighting for me to wake up, not my mind. I just didn’t know what to do though. Harry came in next, his deep voice letting me know who it was. He was sad, I knew it. And I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. But he let me know he loves me and wants me to also wake up. Zayn’s accent was one of a kind to me, so I loved hearing it, but of course he was sad too. Then Louis, sweet Louis, of all of them, I hated to hear him sad. It was heartbreaking hearing them, I wanted to reach out to them and let them know I was ok, but I couldn’t. They must all be mad at me because I promised them. They wont ever look at me the same…I ruined it. Not only my life, but my friends’. After Louis left, I could feel myself drifting away, but then I heard someone I hadn’t expected to. Niall’s irish accent. I could feel my heart beat race….because I was scared of what he was going to say. I wanted to be so mad at him, but even in this state, I couldn’t. Just when I thought I was going to black out again, I heard his voice. His voice kept me awake. Gosh how I missed his voice, missed his arms around me, missed him in every way. But then I remembered why I was in here. Liam was right, I should have never done this because of a boy. But i’m slowly learning from my mistakes and I know I can’t risk making another. Niall said he still loves me and wants me back. I could hear the sadness in Niall’s voice, but it all seemed out of guilt to me. I still loved Niall, but I didn’t deserve what he did to me. Should I take him back? If I ever wake up, I’ll decide then.

Liam’s POV:
It’s been a week since the accident. (Y/N)’s been unconscious for the most part of it. I was afraid she’d fall into the temporary thing the doctor mentioned. But every day I’d go and see her. I’d talk to her and hold her hand. Praying for a miracle to happen. I just wanted her to wake up and be alright. She didn’t have to be with me, but if she were to take me, I’d make her the happiest girl. I know I can, but if she didn’t, I’d also understand. Sometimes I could see her eyes twitch under her eyelids, and I’d think she’d open her eyes, but she wouldn’t. I kept praying and praying she’d wake up, but the doctors said there was no change in her condition. I know Niall’s been coming in too, but I can’t stand to see him. All of us, we’re all torn about this. Who knew it would take one girl to tear us apart. But it wasn’t (Y/N) who tore us apart, it was Niall. He did this. And I hope he was suffering for it. It was the start of another week and I was sitting in (Y/N)’s room reading her one of her favorite books, but when I looked up, she was looking at me. “(Y/N)?!”

Your POV:
I could hear Liam reading to me. I smiled because it was one of my favorites…….wait I just smiled? I tried opening my eyes and found that I could! The room was so bright though it hurt. So I closed them again, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to open them again so I opened them. When I found I could move my head, I turned to look at Liam. He was still reading, but he didn’t see me. I took this moment to study him. He looked in pain, sad, and angry all at the same time. I felt like crying seeing him like this. But as I sat there, I really looked at him. Liam had beautiful features. Ever since he cut off his hair, I hadn’t noticed him, but now I could see his face. His bone structure was like something out of a novel, and his eyes, the perfect shade of brown. His lips, the way his mouth moved, he was just beautiful. How come I hadn’t realized him before? It was then when Liam looked up and saw me looking at him. “(Y/N)?!” I gave him a weak smile and reached out my hand. He immediately dropped the book and grabbed my hand. He kissed my hand and just rested his head again it. I reached over with my other hand and rubbed his head. I could finally feel things, and Liam being the first thing I felt made me feel a lot better. I realized then that he had started crying. I wanted to cry too, but I knew I had to be strong for both him and I. “Liam………please don’t cry.” My throat was so dry it came out as a whisper. He looked up at me. His eyes were red and now puffy, but I could tell in his expression he was relieved and happy to see me. I smiled at him again to let him know I was ok. “(Y/N)…..are you………you’re finally awake…” I let out a little laugh, but it hurt to laugh. “Yes Liam….yes I am.” “Gosh……(Y/N) you don’t know how worried I’ve been……I’ve been praying everyday….waiting to see you wake up….and you’re finally here babe. God it’s good to see you smiling again.” I figured I should get right to the point with him. “Li….i’m sorry.” “Sorry? Sorry for what babe?” “I’m sorry you had to find me like that. Im sorry I did this to myself even though I promised I wouldn’t. But Liam…” “(Y/N), it’s ok. You don’t have to apologize for anything. Nothing. I’m glad I was the one who found you, knowing I was the one who saved you makes me feel less guilty.” “Liam…thank you. Words cannot express how happy I am that you saved my life. I owe you babe.” “You don’t owe me anything. Just please (Y/N), you can’t do this to yourself again. Never. Whenever you feel down again, just please come and talk to me. Or it doesn’t even have to be me, just talk to someone, anyone. This was so much on all of us, but more importantly on me…” He paused and I could tell he was going to repeat what he had told me. But I knew as soon as I woke up and saw him sitting next to me, my decision was made. I put my finger on his lips to stop him from talking. “Li……I heard everything.” His face lit up but also got a look of sadness in his eyes. “So…….you heard what I said?” He had a worried look now. “Yes, I did. And Li, I just want to let you know. Those words you said to me, no one has ever said that to me, and believe me, you helped me through this along with the other boys too….But Li….” I stopped to look him directly in his eyes. “I’m flattered that you’ve fallen for me, but I don’t deserve someone as good as you.” His face instantly turned into an argument face, but I stopped him. “Li, you deserve someone who isn’t damaged like I am. I’ll only remind you of what I’ve done. I don’t want to hurt you.” “(Y/N) the only way you can hurt me is if you don’t let me take care of you. I don’t care that you’re damaged or about anything that I’ve seen. I want you just the way you are love, and I want you to be mine……if you’ll have me.” His eyes were just longing for hope as he waited for me to answer.  I knew my decision when I woke up an saw Liam. But I knew it wasn’t Liam I wanted to be with. I hated myself for not wanting him, but I knew I still loved Niall too much and all I’d do is hurt Liam, and he didn’t deserve that. “Liam……….I love you…..but as a friend.” His face fell and I felt horrible. But he needed to hear this. “You’ve been there for me, and all this time, i’ve grown to see you as the big brother i’ve always wanted. Liam, I still love Niall. No mater what he’s done, I still love him, I can’t just ignore my feelings for him babe. But Liam, please don’t let this affect us. I still need you in my life and to be there for me. Can you do that?” He didn’t answer for a while which made me think he wasn’t going to want to be my friend, but eventually he answered. “Of course (Y/N). I respect you and Niall. And i’m glad to have a place in your life. I love you (Y/N). And I can respect your request. But you know I’ll always be here for you ok?” I nodded my head and smiled. Thankful Liam was taking this so easily. “I’m going to go let the nurses know you’re awake ok?” He left the room and I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I guess while he was out he told the other boys too because they soon started coming in. Harry arrived first and just hugged me. He started crying as he was hugging me and I just held him even harder. The same happened with Louis and Zayn. I loved these boys so much and appreciated them for being in my life. “Guys…I, um, just wanted to apologize. I know I promised you but..” “(Y/N) stop. It’s ok. We all forgive you, we’re just happy you’re awake and well. You’re back in our lives, that’s all that matter love.” Louis said. All I could do was smile at them. But then from the corner of my eye, I could see another figure entering the room. I turned to see Niall. He walked in slowly, looking scared to be here. It was probably because of the boys all being there. I knew he felt uncomfortable, but he still made the effort to come here. I gave him credit for that. I looked at Liam and nodded my head, letting him know it was alright. Him and the boys then left the room to give us some privacy. As soon as were were alone, Niall just stood by the door, frozen. He looked like someone had ran him over. His hair was a mess, his clothes wrinkly, and his face had bruises. “Ni?”

Niall’s POV:
I heard the news that (Y/N) had finally woke up from Zayn. I was glad he told me because as soon as I heard, I ran out the door. On the way over here I felt confident in myself seeing her again, but when I got there all the boys were there laughing with her. And instantly I felt that confidence go away. Should I even be here? But seeing (Y/N) smile again, I knew I had to be here. But I didn’t make any approach to her. She smiled at Liam, and then boys left, leaving us alone. But I still couldn’t move towards her. I must of looked a mess because she had a hard look on her face when she loooked at me, but when she said my name, it woke me up. I walked over to her bed and just looked at her. She looked so much better,  back to herself. But when I looked at her arm, I could see the stitches and scaring already starting to appear. My eyes started watering at the sight. “Niall?” I looked directly into her eyes, better late than never I guess. I sat down and grabbed her hand. It fit into mine just perfectly like it always has. I missed this. “(Y/N), I am so sorry for what I did. I’m an asshole. A dick, whatever you want to call me. I just want you to know it was never my intention to hurt you babe. I…..” I started crying again, but (Y/N) just put her hand up to my face and wiped away my tears. I leaned into her hand and closed my eyes, wishing this moment could just stay like this forever, but no sooner had she put her hand there, she took it away. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “Ni, I heard everything the first time you came in here.” I let out a breath I hadn’t known I had held in. It was sort of a relief hearing that. “Ni, I love you, I do, but I can’t forgive you for what you did. Nor can I forget about it. You……you broke me. You were the one who made me believe in love, and then you took that away from me.” I started to protest but she kept going. “The only thing I have to say to you is sorry. I’m sorry for putting you through this. I shouldn’t have done this to myself, but doing this, I’ve learned from it. This time I can actually say I wont be doing this again. But Niall, I can’t be with you.” I put my head down hearing what she was saying. It was breaking my heart all over again. “I love you Niall, but we just can’t do this. Who’s to say you wont do this again? I can’t have the same thing happen to me again babe.” She then let out a little laugh. I looked up at her and frowned. “Niall, please just do me one favor.” I didn’t know if I could do her any good for anything, not any more. She didn’t want me back, how was I going to accept that? But all in all, I understood. It may take some time, but I could get through it. “Anything babe.” “Please just for me, still be my friend. I’ve known you for too long just to let our friendship end. No matter what happens, be my friend.” I thought about what she was saying, I didn’t think I could be friends with someone I still loved. But if this meant we’d still have some type of relationship, then I’d take it. “Yes, I will. Gladly.” She smiled. “Thank you Ni.” “No, I should be the one thanking you (Y/N). But I really am sorry…” “I know Ni, I know. But let’s move on ok?” “Ok.” My heart still hurt, but I felt better knowing I would still be apart of her life.  I got up to leave but she stopped me by grabbing my hand. “Niall……thank you.” I looked back at her, my heart constricting, but I couldn’t help be content with what was happening. “Sure (Y/N).” I started walking towards the door, but before I left, I gave her one last longing look. I was happy she was still here, but I knew I had to win her back somehow. I loved her too much to let her go.

—One week later—

Your POV:
It’s been a week since I’ve been released. I was still staying with Liam because I had nowhere to go. And he respected my privacy and didn’t change in any way towards me. It felt good to be back at home. But over the course of the week, I couldn’t help but think about Niall. I really did it, I told him I couldn’t be with him, but when I said that, my heart broke. I still loved him, but did he deserve me? He looked a mess when he came to see me. I couldn’t help but feel he really did feel bad about what he did. But I knew I could never forgive him for it. He still texted me, checking in on me to see how I was doing. I was glad he still kept in touch, but he never made it a point to come over and see me. And that hurt, because I knew our relationship probably wouldn’t be the same anymore. Liam would see me in my room crying because I miss Niall, but he never said anything. He’d just hold me and told me everything would be ok.

Niall’s POV:
Its been a week since (Y/N) has gotten out, and it’s been a week since i’ve been thinking of a way to get her back. I would text her, but I couldn’t go and see her until I knew exactly how to win her back. But what shocked me was when Liam and all the boys showed up at my house one day. I opened the door and there they all were, just standing there looking at me. Liam had a pained look on his face and I immediately thought of (Y/N). Was she ok? “Guys…..?” “Can we come in?” Zayn asked. I stepped aside to let them in. We all sat in the living room to talk. I noticed Liam looking around the room, probably noticing I hadn’t taken down the pictures of me and (Y/N). I just couldn’t take them down. But I guess I probably should. “I know, I haven’t taken them down.” Liam turned back to look at me. His face serious. He had slowly begun talking to me again, but it was still strained. “Ni…..first off i’d like to apologize for what I did to you back at the hospital. Yelling at you, hitting you. I just lost it and I’m sorry. But we all came here because we’re worried about (Y/N).” I didn’t react to Liam apologizing to me because as soon as he said (Y/N)’s name, I could only think about that. “What’s wrong?” “Ever since she’s been back, I mean she’s great, but you can tell she’s sad Ni. She tells me everything’s ok with her, but when I walk by her room, I can hear her crying. And when I look in it’s because she’s looking at a picture of you. She misses you Ni. And all of us felt we owed it to her to come and tell you this……….because you need to win her back Niall. Not just for her, but for you too. We all want you both happy.” I was surprised to hear this. (Y/N) said she couldn’t forgive me for what I did and she didn’t want me. But she also said she’d couldn’t trust that I would do this again. So how was I suppose to win her back. “How am I suppose to do that? She said she doesn’t want me.” “We’ve arrange for you two to go out to dinner. She doesn’t know about it being you that she’s going to dinner with. Win her over like you did on your first date. Tell her what your heart’s thinking mate. I know you guys can work things out.” After Zayn finished, I sat there and thought about what he was saying. Would that really work? When I looked up all the boys were nodding their heads, even Liam. “Ok, I’ll do it. When is this dinner?” “Tonight.” “Tonight?! Dang short notice guys.” “Don’t worry you’ll be fine Ni. Just be at Nandos by 7pm. We’ll bring her around 7:30 ok?” “K.” They all started to get up and leave but before they could I stopped them. “Um, thank you guys. I really appreciate this. Really, I do.” They eached hugged me and I felt better about our relationship. When I hugged Liam, he held on the longest. “Please treat her right Niall.” He whispered. “I will mate.” He let go and smiled. They all left, and when I looked at the clock it was already 5pm. I had to hurry up and get ready and think about what I was going to say.

Your POV:
Liam came home telling me to get ready because we were going out to eat with the boys. I wondered if Niall would be there too but he made no mention of it. It was already 5 so I started getting ready. I took my shower, did my hair and make up and chose casual clothes because I couldn’t bring myself to put on a dress. I didn’t feel the need to. So when I came down stairs and saw Liam in casual clothes too I felt a little better. We drove over to Nandos and saw the boys outside waiting for us, I looked for Niall, but didn’t see him. I felt a little sad, but still greatful these guys were taking me out. Liam and I got out and greeted the boys. They held open the door for me and I walked in. When I walked in I noticed there was no one else there. What the hell? It’s Saturday, they’re usually busy as hell. I turned to look at the boys and they just pretended this was normal. Hmm..They started walking towards the back so I followed them. As soon as we turned a corner I froze, seeing who was sitting there. It was Niall. Sitting in a booth, in a tux, with candles surrounding the booth. There were rose petals all over the table and even a path towards the table. I smiled seeing this. I looked at Niall and he looked nervous, but he smiled when he saw me. I turned and looked at the boys and they were all smiling at me. They had set this up, they knew. God how I loved them. ‘Thank You’ I mouthed to them. They all nodded and walked away, leaving me and Niall alone. I started walking down the rose path towards the table. When I reached the end, Niall stood up and took my hand. “Hi (Y/N).” He kissed my hand and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but feel so happy at the moment. Niall was here, trying to impress me. He hadn’t dressed up like this for me in a long time, but I appreciated it now. But now I felt stupid for wearing casual clothes, but Niall didn’t seem to care. “Hi Ni.” He motioned for me to sit down, i did and he sat opposite me. He still looked nervous, so I smiled at him to let him know it was ok. “Niall, stop being so nervous.” “Uh, sorry, I just um..Want this to be perfect for you.” That made my heart skip a beat. He didn’t know how much this meant to me, seeing him. “Niall, you being here is perfect enough.” “Wow…really?” He didn’t seem to believe me when I said that, so I wanted to let him know how I felt. “Yes babe. And to be honest, I’ve miss you.” He left out a huge breath and I laughed. “(Y/N) you don’t know how good it is to hear that. I, um, I know that words can’t describe how much I regret doing what I did and how sorry I am. And I don’t know how many times I can tell you that, but I miss you. I miss us. I miss coming home and seeing you dancing around the kitchen in my clothes. You looked so happy to be with me, and that’s what made me happy.” My eyes started to water but I didn’t want to cry yet. “(Y/N) I feel so lonely without you. I can’t move on and forget the wonderful relationship I had with you. Hell, I havent even taken down all the pictures of us. And when I came home that night and saw the one from our first date on the ground, that’s when I knew I had made a mistake. I love you (Y/N), always have, always will.” He looked down and started playing with his hands, something I knew he did when he was really nervous about something. “Remember, when we I found you the first night we got together?” He looked up at me.  I knew what he was going to say, so of course I started crying. “I told you  that I loved you. I told you that nothing would ever come between us. And (Y/N), I meant it when I said that. Nothing, this thing that happened, it was just a little bump in our relationship.” He then got up and came over to where I was sitting. What he did next though shocked the hell out of me. He pulled a little black box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. My breath caught in my throat as he took my hand and put the box in my hand. I was sobbing by now, but I was so happy about this. It was the same box my earrings had been in, and I remember thinking it was a ring then. This time, it better be a damn ring I swear. “(Y/N), if you’ll have me……I’d like you to be my wife.” I opened the box and saw a beautiful diamond ring. It was one of the ones I joked around with him about that I wanted. He remembered, this made my heart beat faster. I looked at him, he was waiting for my answer. I know I couldn’t forgive and forget what he did, but I knew deep down that my love for him overpowered any of that. “Yes, Ni. Yes!” He took the ring out and put it on my left ring finger, he jumped up and hugged me in one of his Niall Horan hugs. He was so happy. I was happy, and I’m glad he asked. The boys then all came from around the corner and started clapping. Niall let go of me enough to look at them. They were all smiling and I couldn’t help but look at Liam. He nodded his head and smiled at me. I smiled back and then looked at Niall. I kissed him and hugged him again. Thankful for everything that had happened. Even though it was bad, bad things happen in order for good things to come along, and I was thankful for Niall and all the boys in my life.

Your POV:
I still couldn’t move, I couldnt open my eyes, nothing. But when I was conscious, I could hear things. But more importantly I heard when the boys came in. One at a time. First was Liam. I so badly wanted to wake up and tell him nothing was his fault, I wanted to slap him for even thinking that. How could he, I chose to do this, it had nothing to do with him. But when he started telling me his feelings….I wanted to cry. Liam loved me…..he loves me even after this? I couldn’t help but feel relief when I heard him talking to me. The things he said..no one’s ever said those words to me, not even Niall. Liam poured his heart out to me, but I couldn’t respond. You don’t know how badly I wanted to. Liam is such a good person, but idk if I deserve him. He deserves someone who doesn’t have an ugly past like me. But I’m glad to hear his voice, he calmed me. Made me feel better, and hearing him say he wants me to wake up made me want to fight even more to wake up. But I just couldn’t…..it was easier said than done. I don’t know why I couldn’t wake up. Something was holding me back and I couldn’t fight it. Sometimes I could feel myself slipping away and I would be ready to go, but then I’d come back. It was like my heart was fighting for me to wake, not my mind. I just didn’t know what to do though. Harry came in next, his deep voice letting me know who it was. He was sad, I knew it. And I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. But he let me know he loves me and wants me to also wake up. Zayn’s accent was one of a kind to me, so I loved hearing it, but of course he was sad too. Then Louis, sweet Louis, of all of them, I hated to hear him sad. It was heartbreaking hearing them, I wanted to reach out to them and let them know I was ok, but I couldn’t. They must all be mad at me because I promised them. They wont ever look at me the same…I ruined it. Not only my life, but my friends’. After Louis left, I could feel myself drifting away, but then I heard someone I hadn’t expected to. Niall’s irish accent. I could feel my heart beat race….because I was scared of what he was going to say. I wanted to be so mad at him, but even in this state, I couldn’t. Just when I thought I was going to black out again, I heard his voice. His voice kept me awake. Gosh how I missed his voice, missed his arms around me, missed him in every way. But then I remembered why I was in here. Liam was right, I should have never done this because of a boy. But i’m slowly learning from my mistakes and I know I can’t risk making another. Niall said he still loves me and wants me back, but his words didn’t touch my heart like Liam’s did. I could hear the sadness in Niall’s voice, but it all seemed out of guilt to me. I still loved Niall, but I didn’t deserve what he did to me. Should I take him back? If I ever wake up, I’ll decide then.

Liam’s POV:
It’s been a week since the accident. (Y/N)’s been unconscious for the most part of it. I was afraid she’d fall into the temporary thing the doctor mentioned. But every day I’d go and see her. I’d talk to her and hold her hand. Praying for a miracle to happen. I just wanted her to wake up and be alright. She didn’t have to be with me, but if she were to take me, I’d make her the happiest girl. I know I can, but if she didn’t, I’d also understand. Sometimes I could see her eyes twitch under her eyelids, and I’d think she’d open her eyes, but she wouldn’t. I kept praying and praying she’d wake up, but the doctors said there was no change in her condition. I know Niall’s been coming in too, but I can’t stand to see him. All of us, we’re all torn about this. Who knew it would take one girl to tear us apart. But it wasn’t (Y/N) who tore us apart, it was Niall. He did this. And I hope he was suffering for it. It was the start of another week and I was sitting in (Y/N)’s room reading her one of her favorite books, but when I looked up, she was looking at me. “(Y/N)?!”

Your POV:
I could hear Liam reading to me. I smiled because it was one of my favorites…….wait I just smiled? I tried opening my eyes and found that I could! The room was so bright though it hurt. So I closed them again, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to open them again so I opened them. When I found I could move my head, I turned to look at Liam. He was still reading, but he didn’t see me. I took this moment to study him. He looked in pain, sad, and angry all at the same time. I felt like crying seeing him like this. But as I sat there, I really looked at him. Liam had beautiful features. Ever since he cut off his hair, I hadn’t noticed him, but now I could see his face. His bone structure was like something out of a novel, and his eyes, the perfect shade of brown. His lips, the way his mouth moved, he was just beautiful. How come I hadn’t realized him before? It was then when Liam looked up and saw me looking at him. “(Y/N)?!” I gave him a weak smile and reached out my hand. He immediately dropped the book and grabbed my hand. He kissed my hand and just rested his head again it. I reached over with my other hand and rubbed his head. I could finally feel things, and Liam being the first thing I felt made me feel a lot better. I realized then that he had started crying. I wanted to cry too, but I knew I had to be strong for both him and I. “Liam………please don’t cry.” My throat was so dry it came out as a whisper. He looked up at me. His eyes were red and now puffy, but I could tell in his expression he was relieved and happy to see me. I smiled at him again to let him know I was ok. “(Y/N)…..are you………you’re finally awake…” I let out a little laugh, but it hurt to laugh. “Yes Liam….yes I am. And I’m glad you’re the one that’s here.” “Gosh……(Y/N) you don’t know how worried I’ve been……I’ve been praying everyday….waiting to see you wake up….and you’re finally here babe. God it’s good to see you smiling again.” I figured I should get right to the point with him. “Li….i’m sorry.” “Sorry? Sorry for what babe?” “I’m sorry you had to find me like that. Im sorry I did this to myself even though I promised I wouldn’t. But Liam…” “(Y/N), it’s ok. You don’t have to apologize for anything. Nothing. I’m glad I was the one who found you, it just showed me how much I care for you.” “Liam…thank you. Words cannot express how happy I am that you saved my life. I owe you babe.” “You don’t owe me anything. Just please (Y/N), you can’t do this to yourself again. Never. Whenever you feel down again, just please come and talk to me. Or it doesn’t even have to be me, just talk to someone, anyone. This was so much on all of us, but more importantly on me…” He paused and I could tell he was going to repeat what he had told me. But I knew as soon as I woke up and saw him sitting next to me, my decision was made. I put my finger on his lips to stop him from talking. “Li……I heard everything.” His face lit up but also got a look of sadness in his eyes. “So…….you heard what I said?” He had a worried look now. “Yes, I did. And Li, I just want to let you know. Those words you said to me, no one has ever said that to me, and it was your voice that helped me through this babe. I thought I was alone while I was in this state, but all that I could picture was you Liam. You helped me babe. And Li….” I stopped to look him directly in his eyes. “I’m flattered that you’ve fallen for me, because I like you too Liam. But I don’t deserve someone as good as you.” His face instantly turned into an argument face, but I stopped him. “Li, you deserve someone who isn’t damaged like I am. I’ll only remind you of what I’ve done. I don’t want to hurt you.” “(Y/N) the only way you can hurt me is if you don’t let me take care of you. I don’t care that you’re damaged or about anything that I’ve seen. I want you just the way you are love, and I want you to be mine……if you’ll have me.” His eyes were just longing for hope as he waited for me to answer.  I knew I liked Liam, but didn’t know if I was ready for another relationship so soon. But looking at Liam again told me I’d be safe with him, and I believed him when he said he’d take care of me. “Liam……….of course I wil babe.” “Oh thank God, omg. (Y/N), you’ve just made me the happiest person!” He kissed my forehead and laughed. “I’m going to go let the nurses know you’re awake ok?” He left the room and I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Liam made me happy, and I was glad I could return that happiness to him. I guess while he was out he told the other boys too because they soon started coming in. Harry arrived first and just hugged me. He started crying as he was hugging me and I just held him even harder. The same happened with Louis and Zayn. I loved these boys so much and appreciated them for being in my life. “Guys…I, um, just wanted to apologize. I know I promised you but..” “(Y/N) stop. It’s ok. We all forgive you, we’re just happy you’re awake and well. You’re back in our lives, that’s all that matter love.” Louis said. All I could do was smile at them.
But then from the corner of my eye, I could see another figure entering the room. I turned to see Niall. He walked in slowly, looking scared to be here. It was probably because of the boys all being there. I knew he felt uncomfortable, but he still made the effort to come here. I gave him credit for that. I looked at Liam and nodded my head, letting him know it was alright. Him and the boys then left the room to give us some privacy. As soon as were were alone, Niall just stood by the door, frozen. He looked like someone had ran him over. His hair was a mess, his clothes wrinkly, and his face had bruises. “Ni?”

Niall’s POV:
I heard the news that (Y/N) had finally woke up from Zayn. I was glad he told me because as soon as I heard, I ran out the door. On the way over here I felt confident in myself seeing her again, but when I got there all the boys were there laughing with her. And instantly I felt that confidence go away. Should I even be here? But seeing (Y/N) smile again, I knew I had to be here. But I didn’t make any approach to her. She smiled at Liam, the way she looked at him, I couldn’t help but notice, because she used to look at me that way. What was happening?? The boys then left, leaving us alone. But I still couldn’t move towards her. I must of looked a mess because she had a hard look on her face when she loooked at me, but she said my name, it woke me up. I walked over to her bed and just looked at her. She looked so much better,  back to herself. But when I looked at her arm, I could see the stitches and scaring already starting to appear. My eyes started watering at the sight. “Niall?” I looked directly into her eyes, better late than never I guess. I sat down and grabbed her hand. It fit into mine just perfectly like it always has. I missed this. “(Y/N), I am so sorry for what I did. I’m an asshole. A dick, whatever you want to call me. I just want you to know it was never my intention to hurt you babe. I…..” I started crying again, but (Y/N) just put her hand up to my face and wiped away my tears. I leaned into her hand and closed my eyes, wishing this moment could just stay like this forever, but no sooner had she put her hand there, she took it away. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “Ni, I heard everything the first time you came in here.” I let out a breath I hadn’t known I had held in. It was sort of a relief hearing that. “Ni, I love you, I do, but I can’t forgive you for what you did. Nor can I forget about it. You……you broke me. You were the one who made me believe in love, and then you took that away from me.” I started to protest but she kept going. “The only thing I have to say to you is sorry. I’m sorry for putting you through this. I shouldn’t have done this to myself, but doing this, I’ve learned from it. This time I can actually say I wont be doing this again. But Niall, I can’t be with you.” I put my head down hearing what she was saying. It was breaking my heart all over again. “I love you Niall, but we just can’t do this. Who’s to say you wont do this again? I can’t have the same thing happen to me again babe.” She then let out a little laugh. I looked up at her and frowned. “Niall, please just do me one favor.” I didn’t know if I could do her any good for anything, not any more. She didn’t want me back, how was I going to accept that? But all in all, I understood. It may take some time, but I could get through it. “Anything babe.” “Please just for me, still be my friend. I’ve known you for too loong just to let our friendship end. No matter what happens, be my friend.” I thought about what she was saying, I didn’t think I could be friends with someone I still loved. But if this meant we’d still have some type of relationship, then I’d take it. “Yes, I will. Gladly.” She smiled. “Thank you Ni.” “No, I should be the one thanking you (Y/N). But I really am sorry…” “I know Ni, I know. But let’s move on ok?” “Ok.” My heart still hurt, but I felt better knowing I would still be apart of her life. Just then Liam came back in. Her face instantly lit up, and looking at him, his face was the same. It finally hit me, why Liam was so mad at me, why he took it out on me, why he was the first to go and see her………he loved her. I should of seen it sooner. “It’s Liam…..isn’t it?” I looked at her. She looked back at me and her face fell. “Yes, Niall.” This is what she meant by ‘no matter what happens’. She was with Liam now. But there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t be mad at her or him. She deserved happiness, and Liam was obviously it. I looked down at my hands, trying to accept this. “Ok, I’ll leave you two alone.” I got up to leave but she stopped me by grabbing my hand. “Niall……thank you.” I looked back at her, my heart constricting, but I couldn’t help be content with what was happening. “Sure (Y/N).” I started walking towards the door, Liam was still standing there when I reached it. I paused and looked at him. He no longer had the hatred look in his eyes, but finally an acceptance longing there. He was wanting my approval. It took my back actually thinking he still cared enough to ask for that, but I was also glad he’d still be in my life also. So I nodded my head and walked out.

—One week later—

Your POV:
It’s been a week since I’ve been released. And it felt so good to be home, with Liam. We were all at his house having a BBQ for my welcome home party. I looked to where Liam was talking with the boys and couldn’t help but smile. He looked so happy and right at home. I couldn’t help but smile because I was the reason for his happiness, and he was the reason for mine. The boys congratulated us on being together and loved it. And with that, I looked over to where Niall was. He was with Josh. Him and the boys rekindled their relationship, but you could tell he still held back a little. I was just glad he was here. He saw me looking at him and he just nodded his head. I smiled at him and he smiled back. We had barely talked over the last week, but he still checked on me to see how I was doing. We were working on our relationship, but I knew it would take some time, but I was ok with that. Liam then came over and hugged me. I loved being with him already. And I knew we’d be together for quite some time, but it didn’t matter because being with Liam was all that I needed. And what do you know, he’s the one I ended up marrying

Niall’s POV:
Liam hit me right in the jaw. I fell to the ground and felt him climb on top of me. He continued to hit my face, succeeding a lot, but I had my hands up to try and block the hits. I could finally feel the other boys trying to pull him off and fianlly succeeded. I just layed there, breathing heavily trying to catch my breath before I got up. Harry and Louis were holding onto Liam, and Zayn helped me up. I wiped the blood from my lip and just looked at Liam. “What…the hell man! What was that for?!” I was pissed now. But looking at Liam, the look he had said he’d been holding this in for a while. I looked at the other boys and all I saw were puffy and red eyes. What is happening? “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HAD NEVER LEFT HER NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!! I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THERE FOR HER NIALL! NOT YOU. SHE CRIED TO ME ABOUT YOU! AND WHERE WERE YOU? MESSING WITH ANOTHER GIRL!” “How is she?” was all I could whisper. I knew this was my fault. He didn’t know how much I bamed myself for this. “HOW IS SHE? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? SHE’S IN A FUCKIN HOSPITAL BECAUSE SHE CUT HERSELF NIALL!” He paused to catch his breath. “You know her past, you know her better than any of us. Did this not cross your mind once when you were messing around with that girl? Huh??” To be honest, no. She said she recovered from that…….but I was the one who helped her with that….God. The boys had a reason to be mad at me. I broke her again. “No, Liam. I didn’t. And I sure as hell didn’t want her to do this to herself. You don’t think I’m not beating myself up right now?! Well I am, because I know what I did was a mistake on my part. I learned from it Liam. So calm down and tell me how she is doing!” The boys finally let him go because he calmed down a bit. I was still breathing heavy because Liam got me pretty good. Liam didn’t even look at me, he just went and sat down. Louis is the one who spoke. “She’s lost a lot of blood. She was barely alive when they got her here. They’re giving her a blood transfusion. But they don’t know if it’ll be enough to save her. She’s in and out of consciousness right now.” It was that bad…….she would of been dead had Liam not found her. Thank God he found her in time. I ended up sitting down with the rest of the boys. We were all waiting for more information about (Y/N) when a doctor came out. Liam was the first to stand up then the rest of us followed. “Are you guys here for Ms. (Y/L/N)?” “Yes.” we all said at once. “Ok well, we’ve given her the blood transfusion and closed up her cuts, and she’s stable. But there’s a chance of her going into a temporary unconscious state.” When she said that, we all just looked at her confused. “Meaning she could be unconscious for days, weeks, months, years. It’s all up to her. She’s the only one who can pull herself out of this. We’ve done all we can at this point.” The boys nodded their heads while a million thoughts started going through my head. What if that happens? I’ll never get the chance to tell her im sorry, i’ll never hear her voice again..”Can we see her?” “Yes, but only one at a time.” “I’ll go first” Liam said. The doctor nodded her head and walked him back to her room. We all just sat back down and I put my head in my hands. I was getting a major headache. But most of all, I was worried. Worried (Y/N) wouldn’t make it through this. Mad at myself for doing this. Blaming myself for breaking her walls down. I was the one who found her in her broken state and I was the one who fixed her. Made her believe in love again. But then I was the one who crushed all of that for her. On the way over here I decided I didn’t want to be with Tiffany. It wasn’t worth this. I just wanted (Y/N) back. I needed to let her know I still love her.

Liam’s POV:
The doctor walked me down to (Y/N)’s room. The door was open and I could see her laying there looking like she was just sleeping. “Like I said, she’s in and out of consciousness, and she can’t reply, but she’ll hear you if she’s conscious ok?” I just nodded my head and walked in. I closed the door so I’d have some privacy with her. Walking over to her bed, she looked better than when I found her. She had color in her face and looked peaceful, but most of all she looked just so much better. I was so nervous when I found her. I thought I hadn’t reached her in time, but thank God I did. She had a feeding tube in her mouth, an IV in her hand, and a blood pressure cuff on her arm. All the machines around her were slowly beeping, but I’m guessing that meant she was ok. Just as long as they were beeping I was ok. It was then I noticed her arm was completely covered up, but I could see some blood spots here and there. Gosh she was still bleeding from the cuts. How deep did she go?? Doesnt matter, she’s here now. That’s all that matters. I pulled a chair up next to her bed and sat down. For a moment all I could do was look at her. But then I grabbed her hand and craddled it in both of mine. She felt a little warmer than before, and that was a relief to me. But if she felt me holding her hand, she made no sign of it. I started talking to her, hoping she was conscious to hear me.
“(Y/N), I really hope you can hear me………It’s Liam babe….” I was already starting to tear up. “(Y/N)…why did you do this?….You promised us you wouldn’t do this babe. I want to be mad you, but I can’t. I can’t because you and me have grown closer these past few months, and I should have never left you alone……I should of stayed with you until I knew you were ok..I’m mad at myself for leaving you…..here you have Niall leaving you and then I left you. I shouldn’t have done that (Y/N). If I had stayed with you, none of this would of happened….I’m so sorry (Y/N).” I was crying now, just letting it all out. Not caring if she couldn’t hear this, I just needed to say this out loud to help me. “I can’t help but think this is partly my fault. I know if you were awake now you’d slap me for saying that…….but you should of called one of us babe, why didn’t you (Y/N)? Why? We all love you, you could of came to us. Why would you let Niall ruin you like this? You deserve so much better…..so much……you should never beat yourself up over a boy (Y/N). Never. No matter how hard it gets, no matter the circumstances, you can get through it babe. Not by yourself, but with the help from others. Others like me, and Harry and Louis and Zayn. After they took you away, I tried to wash your blood from my hands, but it just wouldn’t go away…….it’s like it was staying there to show me what I did……this is partly my fault babe. But please…..I need you to wake up…..I need to see you smiling again….we all want to see you laughing again…..but me especially…I need to see you up and well again babe……I can’t help but think about what life would be like without you around…and you know what….it would be hell without you (Y/N). You’re the one who kept us all in line, but at the same time you made us laugh.” I stopped to laugh and put my head down and rested it on her hand. ‘Liam this is useless, she can’t hear you’ my mind was telling me, but I had to get this out. “(Y/N), for months, I’ve watched you. I’ve seen the charisma you have, the wonderful person you, and I can’t help but admit……that I’ve fallen for you (Y/N). I’ve held it in because I felt bad for falling for my best friend’s girlfriend. But when Niall messed up, I should have told you babe. I should have called you right away, but I was torn…torn between love and a friendship. I should of let love win because you wouldn’t be like this now. I’m so sorry babe…….please come back..” I started crying again. I looked up at her, but saw nothing. She was just laying there, not responding. Ugh, this was killing me. I sat there for a few more minutes, but I knew the others wanted to see her. I let go of her hand and wiped my face. Slowly I got up and walked out the door. When I reached the reception area, all the boys instantly looked up at me. “I…um…whoever’s next..” I just walked outside and sat in my car, not being able to take being in there anymore.

Niall’s POV:
After Liam left, Harry went in next. Then Zayn, then Louis. I wanted to be last so i’d have the most time with her. But when it finally got to my turn, I was at a loss for words. When I walked into her room, I wanted to break down. She was laying there, so peacefully, but yet not. Because all I could see was the bandage on her arm. The cutting. She was cutting herself because of me, because I messed up. Not messed up, I ruined her life…I went and sat by her bed. I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She still smelled like her perfume, I loved that smell, vanilla. She wore it for me because I love it. I grabbed her hand and sat down. I didn’t know if she could feel me or hear me, but I had to talk to her. I just really hoped she heard this. I know I should wait til she woke up to hear this, because she is going to wake up, but I needed to say this now. “(Y/N), its Niall babe……i love you so much……I didn’t mean for this to happen..it was never my intention. I thought I loved Tiffany, but truth is I was confused. Confused about us. I knew I love you, I just didn’t know anymore. I questioned myself everyday. But I knew you loved me. And that’s why I stayed with you…but yet I still saw Tiffany on the side. I thought I would end it, but I just couldn’t. And then the boys found out, and I made them promise not to tell you. They wanted to tell you so bad….but I made them. And it broke me when I saw you sitting there with Zayn. Finding out the way you did, that shouldn’t of been the way you found out babe…im so sorry…im so mad at myself for doing this. I did this to you. I should of thought of you, I should of protected you from your past, instead I brought it back. You don’t know how much I hate myself right now, and I know the boys hate me just as well. But no words can ever make up for what I did, and if you don’t forgive me, I understand. Because I wouldn’t forgive me if I were you. But I just want to let you know babe, that I love you dearly and am sorry for what I did. I just wish you hadn’t of chosen this route. But please….please wake up so I can tell you this in person (Y/N). I miss you…..and I want you back if you’ll have me babe….so please fight this…” I sat there and cried on her bed. As soon as my breathing returned to normal I finally got up. I gave her one last kiss and left. I just prayed she made it out of this soon

Your POV:
I was numb. I couldn’t see anything. All that surrounded me was blackness. What happened? All I remember was being in the bathroom and……cutting myself. Oh god. Was I dead? No, I could feel myself going in and out of consciousness. But most of the time it was just darkness. At one point though, I opened my eyes. It was very blurry, but I could see someone next to me, holding me. I couldn’t keep my eyes open so I closed them. But I heard everything around me. I could hear shouting, but there was a calm voice next to me. And what it was saying was what kept me fighting to stay conscious. They were repeatedly saying ‘please (Y/N), please, don’t die, don’t die’. It was a someone I knew, but I couldnt figure out who it was. I tried to open my eyes one last time, and when I did, I finally realized who it was. Liam. He was talking but I couldn’t hear him anymore, he was walking fast, and then he let go of my hand. My eyes closed after that and I past out again.

Liam’s POV:
The ambulance just took off with (Y/N). I couldn’t go with her because I’m not family, but they told me where to go. After they left, I just stood there in a state of shock. I looked down and my clothes and arms were covered in blood. I frantically started wiping the blood off, but no matter how hard I tried, it didn’t seem to go away. She promised. She said she wouldn’t do this. I could feel my eyes starting to water. I wanted to yell, I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t. I had to go to the hospital so I could be there for her when she woke up. Because she is going to wake up, she will…….I hope she does…..God please.

Niall’s POV:
We had just got done with the studio, and I was heading to my house. I had been walking a lot of walking so I could think, and tonight Zayn wanted to walk with me. I was preparing for the talk to come from him, but he didn’t say anything the entire walk to my flat. When we finally reached my door, I noticed a white envelope and bag on the mat. I picked it up, and it felt heavy. I unlocked the door and set my keys down. Zayn closed the door behind us and walked over to the couch. I sat down next to him and opened the envelope. I dug inside and pulled out a ring. When I realized what it was, I let out a sigh. It was the mood ring I had given (Y/N). It was changing to black now that I was holding it. She loved this thing even though I got it out of a machine. I thought it was the smartest thing I had done to give this to her cuz I always would know what her mood was. I put it on my ring finger and left it there. I could feel my heart racing as I prepared myself for what’s next. I pulled out a black box next. It was the earrings I gave her on our 2nd anniversary. I bought them because I knew they’d look beautiful on her. She only wore them when we had events to go to, but god I loved when she wore them. It reminded me that I did something special for her even though I know she wanted to see a ring inside that box instead. I had thought about buying the ring, but I was afraid she’d say no. So  I didn’t buy it. I put the earrings down and picked up the bag. When I opened it, my heart broke. I thought she’d keep this forever. But i guess not. I pulled out the Free Hugs t-shirt and held it in front of me. This is my favorite shirt. One day I came home to her wearing it and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She loved it so much I told he she could have it. Seeing the shirt broke me. I really ruined it didn’t I? I had forgotten all about Zayn until he spoke. “Ni….do you really love Tiffany?” I took a while to answer, thinking about what I was going to say. “I don’t know anymore Zayn.” I hesitated again. “After seeing this, I don’t know if what I did was worth it.” “Mate, (Y/N) loved you with all her heart. She was the best girl for you Ni, and you threw it all away for some girl. Why? She didn’t deserve that Ni.” I was going to answer but was cut off by the sound of Zayn’s phone going off. The ringtone was Toy Story so I knew it was Liam. But when Zayn answered, his face completely paled. “What? What happened?!……..When??!?………..Where are you?…….Ok I’m coming.” Zayn quickly got up and was about to walk out the door before I stopped him. “What is it Zayn? Is it one of the boys? What happened?” He hesitated at the door. “I can’t tell you Niall.” He hadn’t met my eyes so I knew he wanted to but really couldn’t. “Who is it Zayn?” When he finally looked up, I realized there were tears in his eyes. This was bad, really bad. Zayn never cried. “Its……….its (Y/N)……she’s in the hospital.” My heart dropped and I suddenly felt cold. “What? Is she ok?” “Liam found her in the bathroom, she had just got done cutting herself Ni, and she’s lost a lot of blood.” (Y/N)? Why would she do that?! ” I have to go with you Zayn, please let me go with you.” I could tell he wanted to say no, but he just nodded his head. I grabbed my jacket and we walked out the door. We arrived at the hospital and rushed in. I could see the boys sitting down, but Liam was pacing back and forth. But when he saw me, his face turned from concern to hate and he had started running towards me. The only thing I saw was Liam’s fist coming for my face.

((Warning, self-inflicting harm in this story. I encourage anyone thinking or doing this, to please stop or don’t do this because you are better than that and deserve better.))

Niall’s POV:
I waited to go home. I didn’t want to show up and see (Y/N) there packing her things. I know if I did, I would change my mind about the whole  situation. We made that flat our home, and now she was no longer apart of it. Though I know all i’ll see is her face everywhere I look. I finally  decided it was time to leave the studio and go back. Tiffany was still with me but I dropped her off because I needed time to myself. When I got home, everything still looked the same. She even left the car we picked out together at the studio. When I walked further in I noticed glass in  front of the fireplace. As I got closer, I realized it was a picture on the floor. I picked it up, and instantly had a knot in my stomach. It was our  first picture together, right after our first date. I knew she was the one for me that night, so what happened to us? Or rather, what happened to me? Still holding the picture, I walked up the stairs to our room. As soon as I opened it, I felt the loneliness of the room before I even looked. All her stuff was gone. The drawers were left open, some of my things left on the floor, her jewelry all gone, everything. I walked over and sat on what used to be her side of the bed. I craddled the picture in my hands just looking at it. I saw a drop of water drip on the picture, when I reached up to my face, I realized I was crying. I didn’t know how to explain it, hell I couldn’t even figure it out myself. But of course I love (Y/N), but then I also love Tiffany now. I can’t have both, so I had to choose. I just hope this was the right choice.

Your POV:
Harry dropped me and Liam off at his flat, then took off with the rest of the boys. As soon as I walked in, I felt weak again and Liam could tell I was drained. “You can sleep in my guest room k?” “Of course Li, that’s fine. Thank you again. I really appreciate it.” “Anytime love. You can stay as long as you want.” He walked me up to the guest room and showed me where everything was. He then brought all the boxes up to my room and left shortly after to give me time by myself. I showered and changed into night clothes and just sat on the bed. I was deciding on whether or not to go through the boxes. I know the boys took everything, meaning they took some of the things that really belonged to Niall. But decided i’d go through them in the morning because I was now getting another bad headache. Hopefully sleep would help me. The next morning I woke up to the smell of breakfast. It was actually refreshing to smell because I was always the one who had to get up and make breakfast for Niall before he left. Ugh, Niall. Already thinking of him. I put on my robe and walked downstairs. Liam was there in the kitchen cooking. When he saw me his face lit up. “Hey! Morning. I made you breakfast love.” I gave him a ginuine smile because I really did appreciate Liam. “Thank you, I can’t remember the last time someone made me breakfast. I always had to do it for……you know.” Liam put a plate in front of me and leaned on the counter to talk to me. “(Y/N), promise me something today. Try not to think about him. Don’t let everything you do go back to Niall. You can get through this, I know you can. Because you’re strong and I’ve seen you get through some of the worse stuff babe. Don’t think about him today ok? Just enjoy yourself here k?” My smile faltered, but I had to say what Liam wanted to hear. “Ok. Are you going to be here?” “No, I wish. But I have to go to work today, sadly. I’ll be home later tonight k? Make yourself at home and do anything you want. My car keys are right here and some money on the coffee table k?” “Ok thanks Liam.” “K, try and have a nice day love.” And with that he kissed my head and left. I sat there and finished the breakfast he made me then cleaned the dishes. I figured the least I could do for Liam was clean his house. So I started cleaning everything. As I was cleaning, I’d come across picture of Niall and the boys and my sadness would return. So I stopped cleaning and went up to my room. The boxes were still sitting there, so I decided now was a better time to do this. I opened the first box and realized it was just all my clothes and shoes. The next box was my jewelry. I knew some of the stuff in there Niall had given me, and I felt I should give them back. I pulled out the 1 year anniversary heart necklace he gave me. It was beautiful and had green diamonds, because that is my birthstone and he’s irish, so he loved it. The next was a ring he gave me. Out of the blue he came home one day and told me to close my eyes. When I did, I felt something being slipped onto my right ring finger. I opened my eyes and there was a mood ring. I remember laughing and asking why he had given me this. He said so he could know when I was happy and that I should be happy all the time when I’m with him. It was the cutest thing I had ever heard. Great, I was starting to cry. The next piece were a part of 24 carat gold earrings he gave me on our 2 year anniversary. At first I thought it was an engagement ring when I saw the box. And when I opened it to see earrings, I was kind of disappointed, but also loved them. He told me one day it would be me opening a box to find a ring, just not now. I kept his word on that, but looks like that wont be happening. I put it all into a envelope and sealed it. The last thing I knew I had to give back is his favorite shirt he let me have because I loved it so much. It was his Free Hugs shirt. I hugged it to me, inhaling his scent for the last time and then folded it and put it in a bag. Since Liam said they were going to be at the studio today, I figured now was the best time to take this over to Niall’s flat. I showered and changed and walked over there. I left the things on his porch and began walking back towards Liam’s.
When I got home, it was lonely. I thought coming to Liam’s would help me feel less lonely, but he wasn’t here so that didn’t help. I went back into my room and into the bathroom. I stared at myself and started crying. It hit me what I had just done. I officially gave everything that reminded me of Niall, back to him. I opened the cabinet to try and find some advil, but instead I saw a razor. I looked at for a minute before finally picking it up and closing the cabinet. My heart was racing. Was I really going to go back to this? All my mind was telling me was ‘remember last time it felt better, just do it’. That’s the thing, once you’ve cut once, anytime you saw a razor, thoughts and memories came back. I knew I needed help, but Niall was my help. and now he wasn’t here for me. He wasn’t here anymore. Niall…..I slid down to the floor and rolled up my sleeve. I  put the blade to my skin and breathed in and out. Did I really want to go through with this? I promised the boys. ‘Promises don’t mean anything anymore’ my mind said. So I took one huge breath, closed my eyes and sliced my skin in one quick motion. I opened my eyes and could see the blood started to come out from the cut. Seeing it made me feel a little better, plus the pain that came afterwards helped me keep my mind off of Niall. So I kept doing it, and doing it, and doing it. Until I started to see black spots in my vision. All I could think about what get Niall out of my mind…….When I could see, I couldn’t tell where my cuts where because the blood was covering it all. I finally put the blade down and rested my head against the wall. I closed my eyes to try and make my vision better, but all I remember was blacking out in the bathroom.

Liam’s POV:
Being at the studio today with Niall was awkward and no one was really talking to him. So I know he felt alone. I felt bad for my mate, but he did this to himself. I couldn’t wait for this day to end so I could go home and check on (Y/N). It was around 6 when we were finally able to leave. I rushed home and walked into the house. I yelled for (Y/N) but she didnt respond. The car was here so I know she didn’t leave. I called for her again, but again no answer. I ran upstairs into where she was staying and knocked on the door. She didn’t answer, so I started getting worried. I opened the door and didn’t see her anywhere. I saw the light on in the bathroom and walked into there. But what I saw froze me in my tracks, and my heart skipped a beat. There (Y/N) was, on the floor……….past out with blood all over her arm and a razor on the floor beside her. Oh my god. I quickly rushed over to her and tried shaking her to wake her up. No response. There was blood everywhere. I grabbed a towel and started to apply pressure, but when I whipped away the blood, I saw the cuts went all the way up to her elbow. There were too many for me to handle. I held her arm and pulled out my phone with my other hand, quickly dialing 911. “Yes, please, I need an ambulance on Miller Ave, flat 3. I have a girl past out from blood loss. Please hurry!” I hung up and craddled (Y/N) in my arms. I was crying. I kept saying her name over and over again trying to keep her alive. But she wouldn’t wake up. “Please (Y/N), please don’t die on me.”

His POV:

I watched as (Y/N) and Zayn walked out of the room. I stared at my cell phone in my hand. Stupid me, why did I have to leave my phone at home. I was going to tell (Y/N) when I got home. But I guess that thought is ruined. Sad thing is, I was torn. I love (Y/N), but on the other hand i’m falling in love with Tiffany. I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to start new with Tiffany, or continue my relationship with (Y/N). But if i fell in love with Tiffany, didn’t that mean I really didn’t love (Y/N)? I looked over to where Tiffany was sitting. She just smiled at me. I walked over to her and sat down next to her. She wrapped her arms around me and put her head on my shoulder. “It’s going to be ok Ni. You’ll see. We’re better together babe.” I just nodded my head. When she said it, it made everything seem ok. But deep down, I just knew it wasn’t going to be.

Your POV:

Zayn walked me back out to where the boys were. They were all sitting around talking, and looked up when we walked back in. They immediately got up and rushed over to me. They all started saying sorry and apologizing at the same time. It was overwhelming, and I was starting to get a headache. I held my hands up and they stopped talking. “(Y/N), do you want a ride home?” Harry asked. I started to say no, but remembered I had driven Niall’s car here. I figured I should leave him it since it was his. “Yeahh, please.” It turns out, all of them wanted to go too. But it didn’t bother me, having them there with me meant a lot to me. It was their friend who did this, but they were with me instead of Niall. We arrived at Niall’s flat and Harry turned off the car. I just sat there staring at the house, not wanting to do this. “(Y/N), do you want us to go and get your stuff?” Liam asked. I shook my head. “No, but can you guys come in with me?” They all said yes and walked me inside. As soon as it got inside, it hit me. I was packing my things because Niall wanted someone else. Tiffany. I fell down to the floor and just started crying. All the boys surrounded me and held me the best 4 guys could. It was Louis’ shoulder i was crying on when my vision finally cleared. I was sobbing so hard that my words came out in gasps. “How……..why…….would….he….do….this….to…me?” They all hugged me tighter until my sobbing calmed down a little. When I was finally taking slower breaths, they stood me up and walked me over to the couch. Zayn and Louis sat besides me while Harry and Liam sat on the floor in front me, each holding my hand. “Why” was all I could get out. They just looked at eachother to see who should answer. It was Liam who fianlly answered. “(Y/N), we don’t know why. When we found out, we all encouraged him to stop. It was wrong of him. All he had to say was he didn’t know what to do. We love you (Y/N) and wanted to tell you, but Niall kept saying he was going to tell you.” “How long has this been going on then?” “About 6 months.” I started shaking and crying again. 6 months. For the past 6 months everything Niall was saying had been a lie to me. The ‘i love yous’ and ‘we’ll always be together babe’ meant nothing now. He promised nothing would come between us. But aparently he forgot to mention this girl. My heart was shattered, broken, with all the pieces left at Niall’s feet in that room. Louis brought me back to reality when he said, “um, Niall told us about your past (Y/N). About the um, cutting.” I just looked at him. I didn’t think Niall told anyone about that. But apparently he told the boys. they were all looking at me concerned. I didn’t like that look. They all thought I was going to fall back into my old ways.

“You guys, i’m not going to do that…I’ll handle it some other way.” “(Y/N), please just promise us you wont do that.” Harry said. They were all waiting for an answer. I looked at them blankly and just said i promise. But I knew deep down I wasn’t going to be able to keep that promise. “Now please just help me pack ok?” I gave them a weak smile. they all just nodded and got up. I stayed on the couch while they went upstairs. I didn’t have any energy left in me to walk up those stairs. I know that if I did, I would break down again. I wouldn’t be able to pack my things, because Niall and I made this place our home. Everything here, we bought together, all the memories this house had broke me. I wouldn’t be able to feel that way again. Not ever. I guess he didn’t realize the damage he was doing when he starting seeing that girl. I felt beat down and really lonely, knowing I had nowhere to go. Liam walked down the stairs with a box in his arms. “Li, where am I gonna go?” My voice was barely a whisper, I had just got done crying again, so I’m surprised he heard me. He set the box down and walked over to me. He took my hands into his and rubbed them. “How about this, you’re going to stay with anyone of us you want, and we’ll take care of you ok? Because we owe you that much and we care about you. So please say you’ll stay ok?” I just nodded my head. Thankful I had these boys to lean on. I thought about what he was saying and decided I wanted to stay with Liam. Liam and I were close and I knew he’d watch over me. Because I knew I was going to need watching. “Can I stay with you Li?” A smile spread over his face and he said yes. The boys packed everything for me. I was thankful for them and when everything was done, they all piled the things in Harry’s car. They had all walked out. I was still standing in the living room, taking one last long look around the place. On the mantel, there was a picture of me and Niall. Our first picture together. I went over and picked it up, just staring at it. Crying again. I just let the frame slip out of my hands and it shattered on the floor. I walked over to the door, and left my key on the table beside the door. I hesitated closing the door, but I knew it was for the best.

(Your POV): Niall Horan. The boy who changed my view on love. He saved me 2 years ago when I was at my worse. He told me everything would be ok and that he loves me. It was that moment when something I didn’t believe in, I believed in because of Niall. And we’ve been together ever since. He’s my life and I’m his. He’s in the famous boy band One Direction, so that takes up a lot of his time, but he makes sure to always come back to me. And I couldn’t ask for anything more.

—Flashback—

He was holding me. Why was he doing this? I didn’t deserve anyone holding me. I had just got done slitting my wrists. And he walked in and found me crying. He held me till I was done crying. Repeatedly telling me I shouldn’t have done that. That was the first time Niall told me he loved me. And for once, I believed him.

“Nothing will ever come between us (Y/N). Nothing. I love you babe.”

That was the day I stopped cutting and let Niall guide me through love.

—Present—

“Babe i’m gonna go to rehearsals ok?” Rehearsals? On a Friday? He usually didn’t have them today. “Um, okay babe. Love you.” “Love you too. I’ll be home late k, don’t wait up.” And with that he left.

Not even 10 mins after he left, I heard his phone ding. It was a message. Oh shit, he left his phone. I went to go get it and it was still lit up with the message. I couldnt help but read it. It was from someone named Tiffany. and what she wrote caught me off guard. “Babe, hope you’re coming to the studio today! I’ll be here waiting for you xx.” I unlocked the phone and saw he had been texting her flirty messages for a while now. Why would he do that? Everything seemed fine between us. What was going on? I debated whether or not I should take Niall his phone. But I finally decided I should so I could see for myself who this Tiffany girl was.

I arrived at the studio and got out. I walked in and saw Zayn, Harry, Louis, and Liam all practicing their songs. Where was Niall? As I got closer, the boys finally realized me. They all got quiet and just looked at me nervously. “Um, hi guys. Where’s Niall? He left his phone at home..” They looked at eachother debating who should talk. It was Zayn who finally spoke. “(Y/N), I think it’s better if you just leave it with us.” Why would he say that? “Why? Why can’t I go see him?” Zayn pulled me aside and spoke lowly. “(Y/N), I think you should see something ok?” I just nodded my head and with that he walked through a corridor into another stage room. I froze as soon as I walked in. There was Niall sitting on a piano bench…….with a girl sitting on his lap. They were talking and laughing and hadn’t realized me and Zayn walking in. Zayn looked down with disappointment. “Zayn…….why are you showing me this?” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them. “Because I felt you should see this for yourself. He didn’t want us to say anything, and I’ve been feeling horrible because he’s my mate (Y/N). But what he’s doing, isn’t right. And I understand if you hate us after this, but you should know.” I finally looked at him and he looked sick. “Zayn, I could never hate you guys. And well….at least you’re showing me now. Thank you Zayn.” “Do you want me to walk you out?” “No, I’m going to sit here and wait til he walks out so I can talk to him.” “Are you sure you wanna do that? Can I wait with you? Just to make sure nothing bad…or im sorry worse happens?” I smiled at his gesture. “I would appreciate that. Thank you Zayn.” We chose the last possible row in the stage room and just watched them. They continued laughing with each other and then even kissed a little. I was surprisingly not crying or even thinking about it. I guess I was just in too much shock from what I was seeing. Zayn kept looking at me to see if I was ok. I smiled at him to show him I was ok. But really, I wanted to hit something. But held my ground.

I had forgotten I had Niall’s phone when it went off again. It rang out loud through the theatre and Niall heard it. He looked up and searched the theatre, looking for where the sound came from. His eyes finally reached where me and Zayn were sitting. And he froze. At first it seemed like he thought he was seeing things, but I stood up and started walking towards him. Zayn followed with me. Niall finally had enough sense to push the girl off of him. She looked over to me and just stayed quiet, though she gave me dirty looks. I finally reached the stage, but Niall hadn’t made a move to get closer to me. I threw his phone at him. “You left this at home. I thought you should know Tiffany texted you.” Sarcasm laced my voice and I hoped he heard how unhappy I was. He looked at his phone, then at Tiffany, and finally Zayn. Zayn just shook his head and looked down. Niall looked at me once again. “(Y/N)….” he finally got down off stage and came to stand in front of me. “I…..I was going to tell you but…..” He never finished his sentence. “So what does this mean Niall?” He looked down at his hands and started moving back and forth. I knew what was coming. “I…think we should break up (Y/N).” he finally looked up to meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, but she’s,” he looked at Tiffany, who smiled at him reassuringly, “she’s great and I didn’t want you to find out like this.” I couldnt say anything. What was I suppose to say to that?? Finally, the only thing I could do was look at Niall and say “I’ll pack my things.” Before I left, I gave my last look to Tiffany. I really looked her this time. She was pretty, blonde like him, and in perfect shape. I looked my body and shook my head. I looked at her again and just nodded my head. Then walked away from them.

(Your POV): “Im sorry about that (Y/N). He over heard me and the boys talking about you.” Niall was walking me to the apartment I was finally able to afford. I couldn’t blame him for what happened, I could never be mad at Nialler. “I don’t blame you Niall. Its ok, really. I guess just seeing him kinda shocked me.” “Are you ok though?” I smiled at him. It was a fake smile but Ni didn’t need to know that. “Yes, I am babe. You can stop worrying ha.” “Listen, (Y/N). I know you don’t wanna hear this, but Liam hasn’t been the same since you’ve been gone. I mean yeahh he has Danielle, but lately he’s seemed distant. Not just from her, but from everyone. But when he heard your name, his eyes were filled with guilt and longing.” He’s right, I didn’t want to hear that. But I had to pretend to be strong. “Ni, it was his choice. Not mine. You know I love him dearly but he never even picked up the phone to call me. If i’m not worth his time, he’s not worth mine. I can’t dwell on something that hurt me so much.” “I know, I just thought I’d tell you.” “I love you Ni, and I cherish our friendship and everything you’ve done for me. I don’t think I could ever repay you, but for now, can we leave the Liam talk behind until I’m ready to talk about it again?” We finally made it to my apartment, but I wasn’t going to invite him inside because I wanted to be alone. ”Yes, I’m sorry. I’ll text you later ok?” He kissed me on the cheek and left.

I unlocked my door and actually looked at my place. I only had a couch, tv and a bed. After today, coming home to this, I felt so lonely. I dropped my purse and slid down the door. I started crying. I hadn’t cried since Liam told me there was someone else. Seeing him with her broke my heart. I still loved him, but he chose her over me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that. I lied when I said im happy for them. What was I suppose to say to her? It didn’t matter, I couldn’t think about it too much. My headache was already forming from crying so hard. I decided to take a shower and just watch some tv.

As I was watching The Notebook, I started crying. Wishing that was Liam and I. Niall had been texting me and laughed cuz I said I was crying because of the movie. I guess it was just a crying day for me. Then Niall texted me saying sorry and I couldn’t figure out why he’d say that. But then I heard a knock at the door. I opened it thinking it was Niall coming to comfort me, but the eyes I looked into werent blue. They were Liam’s puppy dog browns. His face turned to concern when he saw my eyes. He could tell I had just been crying. “(Y/N), what happened? Are you ok?” It took me a while to answer because I was shocked he was here…..at my door……talking to me. This is why Niall said sorry. He must’ve given him my address. “Um, yeahh I was just um watching The Notebook.” His face looked relieved when I said that. “Oh, well, that was always your favorite movie. Um, Niall told me where you were. I hope that’s ok.” I didn’t answer him. Just stared at him. “Can I come in? I wanna talk.” I just walked to the couch and sat down. He took that as a yes and closed the door and sat next to me. I paused the movie and turned to Liam. He was watching me intently and it kinda made me uncomfortable. “(Y/N)…..I um…..I know I said it earlier, but I am sorry. Believe me when I say that. I never meant to hurt you.” I didn’t want to hear this from Liam. Not today. I don’t think I could handle it. I was already on the verge of tears. You could hear the sincerity in his voice and I knew he was telling the truth. Damn him for actually meaning it. ”Liam…..please…..I can’t…” “Just hear me out ok?” He stopped to see my reaction. I just nodded my head and he continued. “What I did was wrong. And I didn’t mean to fall for Danielle again, but I did. And I can’t take that back. But watching you leave, was the worse thing for me. After you left, I sat there for what seemed like days. Thinking, telling myself that I really wanted Danielle. But (Y/N), everytime I was with her, all I thought about was you. And why you would say you expected this from me. Hearing you say that tore me apart.” He paused and just looked at me. I couldnt help it, my tears were already falling. I was barely whispering when I finally said something. “But Liam, you never even called. You never tried to reach out to me. You didn’t try and find me.  I was by myself. Stranded. Here in London because I dropped everything for us to be together. Us, Liam, not you and Danielle. I had no one beside Niall. He was there for me and helped me Liam. Not you. Not the person who I came here for. I wouldnt go home because do you know what it would be like for me to tell my family the boy I came here for abandoned me? They would of said they were right thinking me going was a bad idea. But I went against them Liam. For you. For us. And you just left me, like nothing. And yes I expected it. But deep down I thought you would change that feeling for me Liam. But all you did was make that come true. I loved you and you broke me. How can I ever forgive you for that?”

Liam had tears in his eyes and that made me cry even more seeing him like that. But it didn’t matter because he did this. “(Y/N), I have no words to say to you to make you forgive me. And I don’t expect you to. I can’t forgive myself for what I did either. But all I can say is that I still love you and I miss you. And I want you back.” I started shaking my head, but he rushed to continue. “Just please give me another chance. Please (Y/N). When I gave you that promise ring, I meant it. I am going to marry you someday (Y/N). I am. And whether or not you want to believe it, I swear I will. I love you so much. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but it did. And I cant change the past, but baby we can change our future. Starting with you and I starting all over again and taking this step by step. Please babe.” I was at a loss for words. I didn’t expect Liam to say he wanted me back. I thought he came to say he was sorry and that was it. But he wants me back. But I don’t know if i can do that?Who says he wont do it again? I looked at him. Really looked at him. His beautiful face was full of hope. And he was just waiting for my answer. Liam really wanted this. And I guess, deep down, I do too. I wiped my eyes and looked him in his eyes and said ‘yes’. The look on his face made my smile break out. He jumped up and grabbed me into a hug. He repeatedly said ‘thank you, i love you’. I hugged him back with everything I had. And finally he kissed me. I missed his kiss. and I could tell he missed mine. We finally broke away and looked at eachother. “Please move back in with me. All your stuff is exactly where you left it babe.” This made me laugh. But I gladly accepted his invitation.

Liam and I were living together again, and everything was going great. I was back to myself again, and Niall was happy for that. But I was happy just because I had Liam back in my life. I guess it is true. If you truly love something, let it go. And if it comes back to you, then it’s meant to stay in your life. And Liam is that something. And I love him dearly.

(His POV): Its been a month since i’ve seen (Y/N). The girl I left her for is Danielle. I didn’t want to tell her that though, i know it would of been harder for her. I loved being with Danielle, but there were times when I still thought about (Y/N). I wondered how she was doing, where she was. And what she said still rang in my head. “because I expected it….”. I still didn’t know what that meant, and it bugged me. That night after she left, I just sat there, staring at the promise ring I had given her. I promised her, but couldnt keep that promise. People break promises all the time right? Then why did I feel so horrible looking at it. She left everything. The clothes I bought her, her accessories, and even her car. How was she getting around? I would question myself time to time about her, but then I would shrug it off because I was the one who let her go. I remember Niall coming in the next day asking what happened, and I told him. He said he was sorry it happened, but that was it. We didn’t talk about it anymore. The mates just wanted me to be happy. But why did I feel so low. Danielle and I would go on dates and paparazzi would say shes better for me and that we looked good together. They said this plenty of times, and I would just take it as a compliment. They never said that about me and (Y/N) though….

 One day we were all in the studio rehearsing when I heard the boys whispering about (Y/N) to Niall. I heard her name and immediately started listening. “how is she holding up?” harry asked. “she’s uh…..she’s doing the best she can. She won’t let me help her and it pisses me off. but she was always strong willed you know?” Niall said. “but she’s ok right?” Louis said. “She’s lost a lot of weight and doesnt talk much like she used to. idk if she’s doing it on purpose or she just doesn’t have the money to eat or even wanna talk to me. but i’m going to meet her for lunch today and see how she is.” “you’re going to see (Y/N), Niall?” I couldnt help but say it out loud. All the boys suddenly turned around, looking shocked that I had heard. Niall took his time answering. “I, um, yes I am…”. “Can you……..um, can you tell her i’m sorry Ni.” “Liam, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I think you need to tell her that yourself.” “I don’t think she wants to see me..” “You never know mate, maybe seeing you will do her good so she can move on.” Move on……those words stung. Everybody thought I moved on because I had Danielle. But in all truth, I hadn’t. Danielle was great, but she wasn’t (Y/N). I hadn’t even talked to Danielle for the past 3 days. I debated on whether or not Niall was right. I atleast owed this to her right? “Ok. Where are you guys meeting?” Niall told me and he said he wouldn’t say anything to (Y/N).

Me and Niall arrived at the resturant. (Y/N) wasnt there yet. I sat with my back to the table where Niall sat with my hood on. I heard Niall get up and greet her when she came in. “Hi Ni!” her voice, it sounded different. like she had just got done crying, but it was still good to finally hear. “(Y/N), how are you, honestly?” “Wow, right to the questions huh? um, im fine Ni.” “you look like you havent ate (Y/N). do you have enough money? Please just let me help you.” “Niall, please. i’m fine. I just sometimes forget to eat because of the job. i don’t want your money you know that.” I could hear Niall sigh. I hated hearing she was struggling. “um, Liam said to tell you sorry….” she stayed quiet for what seemed like forever. “hmm. I saw a picture of him and Danielle the other day. They look happy. The head line said “She looks better with him than (Y/N) did”.” “(Y/N) that doesn’t mean anything.” “Ni, remember what I told you the day of the break up? I told you I wasn’t good enough for him. Any other girl looks better with him than me.” “please don’t say that. don’t put yourself down and compare yourself to other girls.” she just laughed. I hated hearing this. “Ni, it’s true. i’m nothing compared to Danielle, she’s so pretty and he loves her. I got with him knowing he still loved her. but i just didn’t want to believe it. but i guess i should of.” That’s what she meant by she expected it. she always thought i’d leave her for someone else.  I couldn’t take hearing her put herself down anymore. Finally I turned around and said, “(Y/N) please don’t put yourself down like that.” I could see her freeze up. Niall just looked down. I wasn’t suppose to do this, but I had to. I got up so she could see my face. Niall was right, it looked like she hadn’t ate in weeks. This was because of me. “I am so sorry (Y/N) for what I did. Please believe me when I say that. But please don’t say that about yourself. You are the most beautiful person I know.” She wouldn’t look at me, but I could see she was holding back her tears. She finally looked at me after a minute, and her look killed me. She looked hurt, broken, sad.

I opened my mouth to tell her more, but then I felt someone hugging me from behind. It was Danielle. I hugged her back, but never taking my eyes off (Y/N). but she  just looked at Niall. Niall got up and (Y/N) followed. Danielle finally realized (Y/N) and she just looked at her. I was at a loss for words. “um…Danielle, this is (Y/N).” (Y/N) looked up with what I knew was a fake smile. She looked right at Danielle and said “I’m happy for you guys. Really.” That last part she looked at me when she said it. Being with her for a year, I knew when she was lying. And she was lying now. It broke me to see that. Danielle said thank you and with that Niall and her walked out. Danielle started talking to me but I wasn’t listening. (Y/N) still loved me, but I didn’t know what to do.