1. ej skriven av mig

1. “I don´t even know why I´m doing this, I´m just hurting myself” you think to yourself as you keep scrolling down. You´re sitting on yours and Harry´s bed with your laptop on your lap, reading all the nasty comments Harry´s fans are sending to you. You´re pregnant in 7^th month with a little baby girl. The tweets have become even worse after the directioners found out that you were pregnant. Some comments are nice, some fans are genuinely nice and asking how you feel and what you and Harry are thinking about naming your daughter but the majority of the tweets are in the style of “I bet you became pregnant just so Harry couldn´t leave you” “I don´t think that Harry´s the dad. You cheated on him you fat bitch” “How can Harry love someone like you? If the child will look just A BIT like you it will be ugly as hell” You don´t know why you let these things come to you, you never really cared until you got pregnant, maybe it´s the hormones? But every time you got hateful comments like this tears started to form in your eyes, you didn´t know what you had done to deserve treatment like this. You knew when you started to date Harry that some fans would be jealous and you heard how the fans treated Eleanor and Perrie but you never thought that it would be this bad. You sigh, log out of twitter and close your laptop. A few minutes you´re just sitting there wondering what to do. Harry´s with his band mates, rehearsing for a concert later this week so he will not be home for a couple of hours. Suddenly you feel yourself getting hungry, you tummy starts to do that dying whale sound so you quickly walk down to the kitchen to see if you have some cookie dough for you to eat. “Of course” You mutter to yourself when you see that every bowl is empty. “I have to stop eating this much” For a couple of minutes you stand in front of the kitchen just staring at the content. “What does a pregnant woman have to do to get some cookie dough around here?” you mutter to yourself. “Is it worth to go down to the shop to get some?” You think through this thought for a few seconds before you decide that it is. “I´m a pregnant woman, I deserve every bowl of cookie dough that I can get” You grab your keys and head out to the store.

“Cookie dough, cookie dough, cookie dough” you whisper to yourself as you search among the shelves. You´re too busy trying to found what you camed for so you don´t hear that your name is being called until the person is standing right next to you. The person who was calling your name hasn´t noticed that you have noticed here so she keeps on talking to her friend. “Haha oh my God, look at her, she´s too busy searching for cookie dough so she doesn´t even hear that we´re talking to her haha” You instantly turn around and find two 15-16 year old girls laughing at you. “Excuse me” you say and raise an eyebrow. “I actually can hear, you´re not invisibly you know that right? Is it something you wanted to tell me, I have better things to do.” “Yeah, like searching for cookie dough. Do you think that Harry likes fat girls or something?” The first girl says while both she and her friend bursts out laughing. You feel how tears starts to form in your eyes but you refuses to let them see that their words got to you, you quickly turns around and head for the exit, but you don´t miss what the girls are screaming after you. “What happened? Don´t you want your cookie dough anymore? You know it´s 2 for one right? Sounds like a deal or what do you think?”

As soon as you come home you slam the door behind you and fall on the couch sobbing like crazy. You lie on the couch for hours, just crying. You don´t know how you ever will be able to stop your tears.  “What the fuck is wrong with people these days? How can I get hate just because I´m with the person I love?” you whisper to yourself. “What have I done to deserve this?” you feel the tears starting to form in your eyes and you start to cry again. You´re crying so hard that you don´t even hear when someone opens the door. “Babe, I´m home”  “I`m here” you try to say but you´re crying so hard that it becomes impossible to hear. “Babe? Is that you?” Harry appears in the door and when he sees you lying on the couch in tears he instantly rushes to your side. He throws himself down on the couch and takes your hands in his. “Babe, what´s wrong? Why are you crying?” You wipe away your tears and refuse to look at him. “Nothing” you whisper. “Jasmine, look at me” he says and cups his hand under your chin. “I can see that you´re crying, please tell me what´s wrong” You take a deep breath and promise yourself to not tell the truth, he will just be mad, it´s not worth it. You´re a bad liar so it´s hard for you to come up with a lie that he will believe. “I…I…fell” you immediately regret your words because you see that he don´t believe you. He frowns and stare deeper in to your eyes. “Jasmine are you trying to tell me that you fell and that´s why you´re crying?” You don´t look at him because if you, you know that you will start to tell the truth. “Yeah” you whisper. “And fell on the couch?” “Yeah” “And that´s why you were crying so hard that I couldn´t even hear what you were saying?” “Yeah” He sighs and forces you to look at him. “Babe, both me and you knows that you´re lying. Please tell me what is wrong, I really want to know” He stares at you with his beautiful green eyes wide opened. His hair is covered in a grey beanie and you can see his muscles under his white V-necked tee. He just looks so innocent and sweet that you have to tell him. “It was just some of your fans” you starts and you can immediately see how his body starts to tense up. You immediately regret your words because you know how he will react. “Please don´t make a deal out of this, it was nothing” you beg. “Go on” he says, completely ignoring your begging. You sigh and run a hand through your hair. “It´s just that I have received some nasty tweets since I got pregnant, they´re saying that you´re not the father and that our baby will be ugly and things like that, and today when I was at the store some girls…” You can´t continue because you start to cry hysterically again. Harry takes you in his arms and hugs you hard. He pats your hair and starts to hum “little things” to you. “Baby, it´s okay” he whispers and kisses your forehead. After a few minutes you´ve calmed down enough so you can go on. “They were mocking me about how fat I am because of my pregnancy, they said that you don´t like fat girls and that I really shouldn´t buy that cookie dough that I was looking for” You feel the tears starting to form again but you quickly wipe them away. Harry brings you closer to him and pulls you on his lap. You´re sitting there for a few minutes, not saying a word before Harry starts to speak. “It breaks my heart every time you´re sad, and these girls…I don´t know what I would have done if I was there” he turns to you and looks deep into your green eyes. “I´m so sorry that I leave you alone so much, you´re pregnant you don´t need any of this shit, if I only had been there to protect you…” You wrap your arms around his neck and press your forehead against his. “Harry, don´t you ever dare to try to blame this situation on yourself. It´s not your fault that these girls said these things, it´s not your fault” “But what if I had been there, I could have-““Hush babe” you say and kiss him lightly. “None of this is your fault. You´re an amazing boyfriend the best I could ever ask for. You´re always there for me and you´re the only one that I know who really understands me to 100%. So please don´t try to blame this on yourself, please?” He wraps his arms around you and brings you even closer. “I love you babe” he says and kiss you gently on the lips. “I love you too”

Later that night you see what Harry posted on his twitter.

“Seriously? I can´t believe what my girlfriend told me today. Even when she´s pregnant you can´t leave her alone. Girls you know who you are, you disgust me”